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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24450787">How to Disappear</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/validray/pseuds/validray'>validray</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Female Friendship, Friendship/Love, Not Canon Compliant, Original Character(s), POV Lily Evans Potter, Recreational Drug Use, Sirius Black &amp; James Potter Friendship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:34:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>40,412</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24450787</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/validray/pseuds/validray</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lily Evans was forced to leave the Wizarding world after graduation. Now, it's June of 1979 and she's ready to make her return, but Voldemort is stronger than ever. Who can Lily trust? AU. Lily/James.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James Potter/Lily Evans Potter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Dynamite</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi everyone! This is my very first published fic and I hope you all like it. Please read and review.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>SUMMER 1979</span>
</p><p>Sweat trickled down Lily Evans's temple. She had tried multiple times to call her father that morning to no avail. The line rang and rang, but Lily was disappointed once more.</p><p>"Dad, it's me. I guess you're still not up. I just wanted to call and check in with you. I miss you and I'm going to stay with Marlene at her flat. I'll call you again later." Lily's voice nearly broke and she had to end the message, suddenly uncertain if he would ever speak to her again. She knew he was awake. It was nearly 11am and he had been avoiding her calls since she left. She just needed to make sure he was safe.</p><p>Lily debated for a second, but instead left the turnout where she had pulled over and walked back to her car. As the engine turned over, Lily fought the tears and willed them away. She had cried too much in the past day.</p><p>
  <em>If he wants to talk, he'll find a way. In fact, it's better that we haven't talked yet. That way I won't get another earful.</em>
</p><p>She had been on the road for two days, taking the long way and appreciating the views on the way to Lily drove closer and closer to the city, she felt the heat continue to grow. She wasn't sure if her hands were clammy with the sweltering heat or nervousness.</p><p>For maybe the third time that day, Lily felt the self-doubt creep in. There was no real plan. Her entire instinct was survival and once she had escaped her childhood home, there was nothing. No job in London, muggle or magic. It could be intimidating, but to Lily anything was better than where she had been. She was done with her life in Cokeworth.</p><p>Thankfully, her old friend Marlene McKinnon from her Hogwarts days had offered her spare bedroom in her flat. Lily had some money saved for two months or so, but she knew that she had to find a job. She would be happy doing anything as long as it meant seeing Marlene again. A barista, a waitress, any job that would have her was good enough for Lily.</p><p>She stopped in front a sleek, charcoal-colored building. It wasn't terribly old, but also wasn't the newest building on that street. Lily quickly spotted Marlene waiting outside the in a small courtyard on a bench. She smiled as she gathered a few of her things from the car before walking over to her.</p><p>"Marlene! I'm so happy to see you again. How have you been?" Lily jumped, wrapping the small, dark-haired girl in a warm hug.</p><p>"Lily! I'm so happy you're here. I still really can't believe it. It's been ages. How's your dad? And Petunia?" She asked excitedly, holding Lily out at an arms-length and examining her up and down.</p><p>"Dad has been so infuriating, he was just not hearing me the last few days. I was packing and if he saw me, he would just get in a mood for the rest of the day. I don't think he quite understands why I had to leave. And Tuney… well you know how she can be. We haven't spoken much since she moved out with Vernon," Lily answered and began to fill Marlene on all of the goings-on of the past month or so. They wrote to each other quite often, but it had been months since they saw each other.</p><p>"Okay, enough about my <em>boring</em> Muggle summer! What have you been up to?" She inquired, walking with Marlene towards her car.</p><p>"Well, I've been working for the Ministry at the Department of International Magical Cooperation with my Uncle Jack. I love working there, but it's rather lonely. All of my colleagues are in their thirties and know my uncle. Everyone kind of treats me like a little girl and I feel like they all think I'm only there as a result of nepotism. It's frustrating. I wish they'd give me some more responsibilities. It's such a boys' club," They picked up all of the necessities to and turned back to the lobby of the facility.</p><p>"Wow, I expected you to have a lot more things. I'm afraid I'm a bit of a hoarder. Unfortunately, the lift's broken. But I'm on the second floor so no worries!" said Marlene and led Lily up to her flat and started helping her unpack. Lily stood at the landing of the steps, a small smile on her face. She couldn't wait to start this new journey.</p>
<hr/><p>The week passed in a blur. Lily had rekindled her friendship with Marlene as though no time had passed since their time together at Hogwarts.</p><p>Marlene's flat was quite small, but Lily was just glad she had a small space all to herself. She caught up with Marlene about the deteriorating circumstances for Voldemort's opposition.</p><p>The Ministry grew increasingly corrupt and Lily was fairly confident she knew most of what was going on.</p><p>The information she had was fairly inaccurate. Marlene was involved with the Order of the Phoenix who gave her information the <em>Daily Prophet</em> would never publish.</p><p>Lily spent her first day with Marlene, struck by all of the information she had.</p><p>"Er, Lily, I know we kept in contact while you were at home, but erm… I meant to ask you. Have you seen Severus at all?"</p><p>Lily nodded. She gathered her thoughts. There was a iciness in Marlene's tone that Lily had never noticed before.</p><p>She opened her mouth to speak and closed it again. Marlene looked at her for a minute, commented on the weather, and began to make dinner.</p><p>Meanwhile, Lily felt as though she had hit a wall in her hunt for a job. She called various restaurants in magical London, even some in Muggle London, caterers, coffee shops, and even as a receptionist at various offices. She just needed something to help her pay Marlene for all of her kindness since she had moved in.</p><p>She knew Marlene came from an old Wizarding family, but they were by no means wealthy. Lily tried to pay for her own groceries and various toiletries, but Marlene refused, confident that Lily would find a job soon.</p><p>Finally, Lily received a call for an interview for a restaurant in Muggle London. Once she hung up the phone, she told Marlene the name of the restaurant. She squealed.</p><p>"How in bloody hell do you know about it? It's a Muggle restaurant." It was a small Italian spot, Martinelli's. Lily had perused through the menu and it was more upscale than she expected. She saw it as a welcome distraction from the chaos of the magical world.</p><p>Lily was hardly a wallflower at Hogwarts, as Head Girl, prefect, and member of the Slug Club. She met all kinds of powerful people through Slughorn on both sides of the war with Voldemort. The chances of running into someone unsavory if she wanted to work at the Ministry with Marlene were infinitesimally higher than as a server at Martinelli's.</p><p>"Everyone loves that restaurant, Lily. Muggle and Magic," Marlene said, as though it should have been obvious. Lily groaned, knowing that her thought about safety in the Muggle world was incredibly naive.</p>
<hr/><p>Her interview had been nerve-racking, to say the least. Paul was an older man with sandy blonde hair, who had a bit of an air of mystery around him. Lily couldn't quite put her finger on what it was about him that unnerved her.</p><p>"So, Lily," Paul, the general manager, began quietly. "You've worked as a barista? Tell me about that, what did you learn?"</p><p>"Well, erm, I learned how to make lattes, teas, prepared food for the—" Lily started.</p><p>"Prepared food? So, can you cook?" he asked, skeptical of her ability.</p><p>"No, actually, it was actually just more like bakery items. It…" Lily trailed off and took a deep breath before attempting to continue. <em>This is absolutely going bloody nowhere.</em></p><p>Paul interrupted her once more.</p><p>"I should have been clearer. I did not mean skills. I mean what knowledge did you gain," he clarified. Lily frowned.</p><p>"Erm, I learned—"</p><p>"Lily!" called Sirius Black, entering the empty dining room spotting Lily and Paul seated at a table. Lily's eyes widened at the sight of him. She hadn't seen Sirius in close to a year.</p><p>He looked much skinnier than the last time she saw him, his face gaunter and somehow more handsome than ever.</p><p>"Sirius? What are you doing here?" Lily asked, with a look of excitement and confusion on her face.</p><p>"Oh, I know some people. Just came by to pick something up," Sirius flashed a toothy grin at Lily, quickly realizing what he had interrupted. Before Lily could inquire about his vague answer, he headed towards the door. "So sorry to interrupt, I'll be on my way. We need to have a chat, Lily. Later, Paul." Sirius waved goodbye and Lily laughed nervously, eyeing Paul, who rolled his eyes.</p><p>"Well, it was nice to see you Sirius." Lily smiled and waved goodbye. Just like that, he was gone. Lily looked down at her watch. It was now nearly ten in the morning. She looked around the empty dining room. Who was here this early?</p><p>Lily received her answer a few minutes later, in the middle of explaining to Paul all of her (limited) knowledge of wine.</p><p>James Potter strode through the kitchen doors, back behind the bar area. His hand shot up to run through his hair as soon as they made eye contact. Her breath caught, trying to gauge his reaction. It was like he wore a mask, concealing his emotions and giving Lily no insight as to how he felt.</p><p>She knew he lived this general area, but London was no small city, and this was the last place she expected to see him.</p><p>Lily hadn't been listening to Paul in a few minutes, as he droned on about the importance of the food safety certifications.</p><p>"Okay, Lily, do you have any questions for me?" Paul said, beginning to stand.</p><p>Her head was scrambled. Fleamont Potter was a very wealthy man with connections within the Ministry. Surely, James could be working for the Ministry. Lily's mind raced with the wildest of ideas, all trying to answer one question: <em>what was James Potter doing here?</em></p><p>"Erm, no, I don't. Thank you so much for your time." Lily stood, reaching out to shake his hand.</p><p>Lily grabbed her purse and watched Paul stride back to the kitchen area. She turned back towards the bar area to search for him. He was gone.</p>
<hr/><p>A/N: Please leave a review! Just so you guys know, I like to follow canon as much as possible but this story very clearly is going to deviate from it as you can already see from the timeline I'm working with. Made a few changes hope you don't mind! Thanks</p><p>Hope you're all staying safe and well! xoxo</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Start It Up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>CHAPTER 2: START IT UP</span>
</p><p>"Merlin." Lily sighed. Of course, James wouldn't make this easy for her. She headed towards the exit and thought through each of her choices. She wanted to leave this place and never return. She wanted to make a scene. That wasn't a good idea. Paul may have seemed a little off, but a job was a job was a job. She desperately needed money.</p><p>Going back to Marlene's seemed like a good idea on paper. But it would most likely be empty. The chances of Marlene being home in the middle of the day were slim, but Lily didn't know who else would understand the volatile dynamics of her relationship with James.</p><p>"Excuse me?" Lily jumped at the familiar voice behind her.</p><p>"Sorry, erm— Hi," she stammered lamely, coming to a complete halt when saw Sirius Black standing in front her for the second time that day. Lily's stomach turned and she wanted to run, but she didn't.</p><p>She looked at him more deeply this time. Now that her body wasn't wracked with nerves, she was able to take him in. Black jeans, with a striped shirt that was short enough to expose a number of tattoos on his left bicep. He wore black leather boots that reminded Lily of a time at Hogwarts after she and Sev had gotten into a particularly nasty fight.</p><p>
  <em>Severus Snape cornered her in the dungeons one evening during her seventh year. She forgot her Potions book in Slughorn's class. They both knew she wasn't bluffing when she threatened to hex him. But it didn't stop Severus from emotionally battering her for becoming friends with James.</em>
</p><p>"<em>I don't owe you any kind of explanation, Severus! He's the Head Boy. I'm the Head Girl."</em></p><p>"<em>Silly titles that Potter's father bought him. It doesn't mean anything. If only you could see what a hypocrite, you're being. You said you hated bullies. You couldn't stand someone picking on others. So, you ended what we had. And then went running into his arms."</em></p><p>"<em>Running into his arms? Are you even listening to yourself? What the fuck is wrong with you Snape?"</em></p><p>"<em>Oh, is that what we're doing now, Evans?" Snape sneered at her, his lip curling in the most unattractive way Lily had ever seen. She had to take a step back. She had only seen him this angry once before. He had called her an unforgivable word.</em></p><p>
  <em>"If we're no longer friends, then perhaps your filthy muggle father and sister should watch their backs. I have friends in high places now… Maybe they'll fancy a visit to our hometown," he threatened quietly. Lily's anger flared, but when she opened her mouth to retort, there were no words.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Silently, he turned and disappeared in a flurry of robes around the corner. Her chest ached and her legs suddenly felt like collapsing from underneath. Sirius had been there for some reason. She never asked him why he was down there, and he never told her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He walked with her to the edge of the Black Lake and they sat there for what felt like hours. Sirius offered her his shoulder to cry on. He did not ask her why she was crying.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He did not avoid her eyes. He did not prod, did not belittle Snape, and they ended up speaking for a long time about the things they would do once they left Hogwarts. The black motorcycle, the leather jacket, all of it. He made her laugh and forget all of her problems with Severus. They never spoke of it again.</em>
</p><p>Things were so different and so utterly the same.</p><p>"Come on, Lily. Let's go get a cuppa," he held out his arm and Lily hooked her arm through his to make the short walk up the street to the coffee shop up the street. They walked in silence until they reached the front of the shop.</p><p>"The Well? I didn't see this when I was walking to Martinelli's."</p><p>"This place is enchanted similarly to the Room of Requirement. It appears only if you are in need of it or are thinking about it," he explained.</p><p>"Well, that's pretty neat." Lily murmured to herself as they stepped inside. The décor was very trendy and adorned with various photos of photos of the staff.</p><p>"What will you have, Lily?" he asked, approaching the front counter. She asked for a peppermint mocha drink and he ordered green tea.</p><p>The atmosphere was warm and welcoming, but Lily couldn't help but feel on edge as she waited for Sirius to grab their drinks. She sat at a small table near the large window. The table was a smooth cherry wood and it had a few scratches on its surface. Lily stared at it until she heard the barista laugh loudly.</p><p>She studied the pair while he chatted to her. The name tag on her apron had said something generic, like Vanessa. Lily envied her brightly colored teal haircut. It was wild and such a gorgeous shade that Lily suddenly felt sick of her tangled, red mane.</p><p>The barista eyed Lily and darted her eyes back to Sirius, who seemed to be telling her some crude joke. Lily finally looked away and let her eyes wander to the mirror across from the room.</p><p>She stared back at her reflection with mild disgust. There was a fine sheen across her forehead and her hair was slightly disheveled. She ran her fingers through her long, red hair and sighed. She looked down the icky, beige color on her fingernails. She had painted them the first night staying with Marlene. They were slowly chipping, and Lily suddenly felt a flash of anger looking at the muted color. The color was recommended by Marlene as a polished look for interviews. She knew it was a good idea, but suddenly looking at Vanessa's hair, she began to feel prudish and boring.</p><p><em>Was that even her name?</em> Lily wondered.</p><p>Lily has been so lost in her own thoughts that she almost flinched when he set their drinks down. She sipped her drink and murmured some thanks as he pulled back his chair. He sat and without much preamble, began to question her.</p><p>"Why are you here, Lily?" he asked quietly and Lily's face must have given away more than she would have liked. He scratched the stubble on his hard, angular jaw while he waited patiently for her answer. There was disappointment in his grey eyes.</p><p>"Sirius, I don't expect you to understand," Lily said shortly. She swished her drink and took a short sip. It was delicious and she realized she had not eaten all morning. She took a deep breath before continuing, "This was about my mum. I hadn't seen her in <em>years</em>."</p><p>"I don't reckon I've ever heard you speak about your mum. All I know is from what James has told me," he replied and his demeanor slowly softened.</p><p>"Sirius, I never meant to hurt anyone. You know that—"</p><p>"Lily, that's not the issue. I understand that, Remus, Peter, hell, even <em>Dumbledore </em>understands that. We all just want to know why. You could have told him you just needed space. James would've understood that you had to go back home," he continued on about how Lily didn't do it the right way, the exact way Sirius would've liked.</p><p>There would never be a right way. It was not as simple as Sirius wasn't making it sound. But she didn't feel like talking about her mum in an empty Muggle restaurant. She stared a spot on the table and let Sirius go on and on. She waited for a lull in his monologue before interjecting.</p><p>"I saw him. At the restaurant."</p><p>"Of course, you did."</p><p>"I didn't know he worked there." Lily replied in a low tone. She looked up to study his grey eyes. Endless and beautiful, but still cold.</p><p>"Love, everyone knows he works there." Sirius let out a bark of laughter with no humor in it.</p><p>"Well, I've been in Cokeworth, haven't I?"</p><p>"Yes, but I thought the lovely Miss McKinnon would have filled you in."</p><p>"Well, she didn't, so I had no way of—Hang on. How did you know I was staying with Marlene?" At this, Sirius sniggered.</p><p>"Lily come on. You're a bleeding Gryffindor. You weren't going to stay on the sidelines forever." Lily glared back at him in disbelief.</p><p>"You did not guess that. Tell the truth," she demanded.</p><p>"Okay, fine, Marlene told me. But I knew you would come back."</p><p>"You did not know that. Sirius, you are so full of shit!"</p><p>"Yes, but you're still here. Sitting here. Talking to me. In London. I don't think you're going to win this one," he grinned.</p><p>"Okay, yes I'm back. I want to fight," she said slowly. He arched an eyebrow at her but said nothing. She paused before continuing. "By the way, I've spent a week looking for a bloody job and Martinelli's is the first place I like. If they ask me to start there, I won't turn it down because of him. He's just going to have to deal with it."</p><p>"Sure, Lily." Sirius replied smartly.</p><hr/><p>Lily finally arrived back to Marlene's and collapsed on the sofa.</p><p>"Hey! How did it go?" Marlene looked up from her book.</p><p>"It went…alright," Lily stammered, unsure of where to begin. She decided that she shouldn't beat around the bush. "You'll never guess who I ran into."</p><p>"Let me guess… James Potter?" Marlene's bronzed cheeks tinged with pink. She set her book down on the coffee table.</p><p>"Yup. And Sirius Black," Marlene stayed silent at this. "Why didn't you tell me worked there?" Lily groaned.</p><p>"Oh, come on, Lily. No one else was calling you back. It was <em>destiny</em>. I was going to tell you…eventually," she finished quietly.</p><p>"I wanted to make an entrance, Mar! I feel awful for leaving just when he and I were… well, you know. I can't expect him to welcome me back in open arms, but I don't know how to act around him," Lily cried dramatically. Marlene's shoulders relaxed and she sighed. They couldn't stay mad at each other. "I looked like a complete fool! Came sauntering into his restaurant—"</p><p>"Oh, you're laying it on thick now. It's not like he's the owner—"</p><p>"…I was wearing a fucking cardigan, Mar. I looked for him like a lost puppy. I swear I must have looked like such a twat. I wanted to make an entrance at a party, wearing lip gloss, in a tiny miniskirt, all that! No such luck." Marlene couldn't help but smile at the picture Lily was painting.</p><p>"Lily, please just tell me what happened." Marlene begged.</p><p>"Alright, I'm sorry," Lily summed up the events of the morning to Marlene. After Lily was done recounting those events, Marlene mulled it over quietly.</p><p>"Well, you were bound to run into him eventually." Marlene shrugged.</p><p>"Yeah, I just wish it would have happened on my terms. It feels… weird. We weren't even dating or anything, you know. But still I left. I know I made the right choice, but it's still an ugly feeling."</p><p>"Lily, you don't have to feel shame for what your decision was. Your dad needed you. I know shame is a natural emotion, but we've talked about this…"</p><p>"Marlene, you don't need to be my therapist. I believe we've also talked about that." Lily shot back smartly. Marlene glanced back at her flatly. Lily couldn't help but sigh and waited for Marlene to continue.</p><p>"I just feel the need to remind you that <em>nobody</em> thinks of you as self-indulgent or dramatic. That's fear talking. You definitely made the right choice." Marlene reached out and took Lily's pale hand in her tan one.</p><p>Lily stared at the ground. She knew Marlene was right. If she got the job at the restaurant, she'd need to stand her ground firmly.</p><p>"I'm still not sure what to do, I have an interview tomorrow at this bakery. If it wasn't for seeing him, I would cancel it."</p><p>"So then cancel it." Marlene smirked.</p><hr/><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: Okay, that's all! I'll be updating regularly, hopefully once before this weekend. I am just really excited about this fic. Leave a review if you'd like and I hope you are all staying well.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Brooklyn Baby</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>CHAPTER 3: BROOKLYN BABY</span>
</p><p>Lily cancelled the interview at the bakery the next morning, realizing she did not even want to work there. She hated putting all of her eggs in one basket, but she couldn't deny her heart was dead set on Martinelli's.</p><p>Hearing Marlene talk about the singular occasion that she had visited Martinelli's made her squeal with excitement at the endless possibilities London had to offer. They had the most exquisite wine list, Marlene claimed.</p><p>Lily tried her best to push James out of the equation and be excited that one of the trendiest restaurants in London was actually considering her for a job. She hoped maybe he only worked there occasionally. Maybe he was just filling in for someone. She even allowed herself to ponder the slim possibility that perhaps he didn't even work there.</p><p>Or, at lease she <em>thought</em> they were still considering her for the position. She hadn't heard anything back.</p><p>But it still felt wrong to accept a position there without at least talking to him. Lily couldn't quite put her finger on the reason why she felt the need to do so.</p><p>Lily rubbed the sleep from her eyes and sat in bed, contemplating her current predicament when she heard the doorbell ring. She quickly grabbed her wand from the end table next to her. She gave herself a quick once over in the mirror and used her to wand smooth out her clothes.</p><p>She hastily walked down the hallway before looking through the peephole. She didn't recognize the tall, brown-haired witch who stood in the doorway.</p><p>"Who is it?" Lily asked brusquely.</p><p>"It's Emmeline Vance, where's Mar?" The woman replied. Lily breathed out a sigh of relief. Her dueling was extremely poor, having been out of practice for quite a while.</p><p>"Hi, Emmeline!" Lily opened the door and ushered her in hurriedly. The witch stepped inside but held her wand up quickly.</p><p>"Lily? Lily Evans?"</p><p>"Yes, I just moved with Marlene." Lily explained. Emmeline eyed her suspiciously and turned around to look at the flat.</p><p>"Who else is here?"</p><p>"Dunno, just woke up. Mar could be some— "Lily started but was interrupted with Emmeline suddenly turning around and holding her wand up to Lily's face.</p><p>"Evans, I trust you. But I also don't," Emmeline said apologetically at Lily's face of bewilderment. "What subject did I tutor you in during your 3rd year?"</p><p>"Transfiguration." Lily replied at once. Emmeline was a wonderfully talented witch three years her senior at Hogwarts. At once, she lowered her wand.</p><p>"You can never be too careful." Emmeline said cheerfully. Lily looked her for a long time before sitting on the couch.</p><p>"Erm… right. I've been living in the muggle world for too long apparently." Lily muttered.</p><p>"Nothing wrong with that, Lily dear. You just have got to be careful. Constant vigilance, as Moody says. So, is Marlene here? I think she would've heard all of this excitement." Emmeline said, unaffected by Lily's state.</p><p>"Yeah, I think you're right. She would have come by now," Lily frowned and looked at the large clock on the wall. It was a quarter until nine in the morning. She shrugged and turned back to her guest. "So, what brings you to see Marlene if you don't mind me asking?"</p><p>"Just some Order business." Emmeline responded quietly.</p><p>"Oh, I see." Lily's brow furrowed. The headmaster had recruited her into the Order in her final Hogwarts days. She was a member, briefly before she explained to Dumbledore the extent of her issues with her family. He was extremely understanding and cryptically invited Lily to return whenever she felt comfortable doing so.</p><p>Marlene was deeply involved with the Order and was frequently assigned to short missions for Dumbledore, mostly trailing suspected Death Eaters. She should have guessed that Emmeline was here on Order business, but the Vance's and the McKinnon's were also family friends.</p><p>"How's your family doing, Lily?" Emmeline asked and gave Lily reassuring look. Lily felt a pang of annoyance. She should have worked out a generic response to this question by now.</p><p>It was no secret to the other members of the Order of the Phoenix that Lily Evans was among the most powerful witches in her generation. The news of her leaving voluntarily made ripples across the allies of Dumbledore. How could she respond appropriately? She sighed.</p><p>"They're doing great, thanks so much for asking." Lily plastered a giant grin on her face, desperate to find a way to change the subject. <em>Soon</em>, she thought to herself, <em>I'll talk to them about it soon.</em></p><p>Emmeline smiled and like she read Lily's mind, looked around at the empty boxes in the corner of the sitting room.</p><p>"Wow, you weren't kidding about just moving in."</p><p>"Yeah, I just got here last Friday." Lily explained.</p><p>"Have you talked to Dumbledore yet? Does he know you're back?" Emmeline asked, quickly turning back to Lily.</p><p>"Erm… no. I haven't had a chance to write to him." Lily replied, lamely. Emmeline chuckled.</p><p>"Well, if you'd like, you can see him. There'll be an Order meeting next Tuesday night. That's what I came to talk to McKinnon about. We need to work on something before then. Top secret. Can't talk to anyone about." Emmeline winked.</p><p>"Okay, I can pass along the message." Lily said.</p><p>"Should we be expecting you as well, Lily?" Emmeline asked. Lily hesitated. This was exactly the kind of thing she promised Petunia she would not involve herself in.</p><p>Lily gnawed at her bottom lip. She knew that people were dying every day, even if the Daily Prophet didn't plaster it on the front page. Attacks on Muggles were being done in broad daylight at times. She felt a duty to those who were not strong enough to protect themselves, but she also heard Petunia in her ear. <em>You're going to get us all killed, Lily! Stay out of it!</em></p><p>She stared back up at Emmeline, who was waiting expectantly.</p><p>"I'll think about it." Lily replied.</p><p>"Perfect, 8pm. McKinnon knows where," She hugged Lily and stood to leave. "Oh yeah, not sure what you're doing tonight. I also meant to tell Mar that the hippogriff soars at ten. Bye, Lily." She disapparated with a crack. Lily's face scrunched in confusion.</p><p>She walked over to Marlene's room and knocked softly on the door. No response. She opened the door slowly but was met only with Marlene's empty room. The bed was slept in, at least, so Marlene was here last night.</p><p>Lily walked back to the kitchen to prepare some coffee, contemplating if she should send a Patronus her way. She tried to remember if Marlene mentioned anything about plans this morning as she set some water to boil.</p><p>She went back to her room to change into something more decent. She set her wand down on the dresser, next to a vase a full of dead flowers. She was saddened by how quickly they died, but it was no doubt due to the blistering heat.</p><p>Lily straightened in only her bra and knickers to stare at her reflection. She absentmindedly traced a long, faint scar on her abdomen and thought back to her parents and Petunia.</p><p>How would they feel about her being involved in the Order again? It's not like she could write to her mum and dad to tell them.</p><p>Lily blinked. She couldn't write to her mum. It had yet to sink in. That her mum was really gone. Dead. Permanently gone.</p><p>Lily reached for her wand and charmed the dead flowers in the vase back to life. Her chest suddenly felt heavy. She took a deep breath. It had been a good morning.</p><p><em>Just let yourself grieve. </em>Her sister's voice rung in her head once more.</p><p>She finally moved from her position to splash some water on her face, brush her teeth, and throw some makeup on. She cast a quick charm to tame her flyaways on top of her head. It was slightly overcast that morning, so Lily settled on some trousers and a crop top that showed off some of her midriff.</p><p>Suddenly, she heard the kettle whistling and ran out to turn it off when she heard keys jingling in the door.</p><p>Marlene burst in, clearly not expecting Lily to be awake, much less bustling around fully dressed.</p><p>"Lily!"</p><p>"Marlene!" Lily mocked with a smile, matching her surprised tone with a laugh and began to prepare her coffee. Marlene laughed nervously.</p><p>"Erm, how long have you been up?"</p><p>"Oh, just a bit. Emmeline stopped by."</p><p>"Oh, did she?" Marlene asked innocently. Lily threw an eye her way after a second, looking her up and down. Her curly, black hair was thrown in a messy bun, with small curly, wisps of hair framing her face. She wore workout clothes and running shoes, but her face was immaculate. Lily frowned, thinking there was no possible way <em>Marlene McKinnon </em>was working out this early in the morning. She decided now was not the time to be suspicious.</p><p>"Yup," Lily said with a pop. She moved to get creamer from the refrigerator. "She said it was regarding Order business. And she wanted me to tell you that there's a meeting next Tuesday night. 8pm. That you would know where." Lily finished, stirring her the creamer into her coffee now. Marlene nodded in understanding, now sitting on the counter in the kitchen with a banana in her hand.</p><p>"Great, can't wait." Marlene said sourly, taking a bite of her banana.</p><p>"Oh! She also mentioned that 'the hippogriff soars at ten'. Not sure what that means. She's a character, that one." Lily said, perplexed.</p><p>"Oh, that just means she wants to drink with us. Her favorite bar is called The Dancing Hippogriff. Wants us to meet her there at 10," Marlene rolled her eyes. "Always on edge, that one. She feels the need to speak in constant code." Lily snorted at this.</p><p>"Well, I'm bored out of my bloody mind. I'd love to go if you want to. Wasn't sure what you had planned tonight. Or this morning. Where were you?" Lily asked quickly. Marlene's eyes widened, surprised at Lily's line of questioning.</p><p>"Bloody hell, good cop. That was sneaky."</p><p>"Thanks, I've always wanted to be an Auror."</p><p>"No, you don't."</p><p>"Absolutely not. I didn't mean to pry; I was just hoping perhaps you were sneaking around with a boy." Lily said, wagging her eyebrows at Marlene.</p><p>"No! Okay, okay. The soon-to-be Mrs. Alice Longbottom wanted to meet with me," Marlene admitted. "Order stuff."</p><p>"Oh, okay." Lily accepted this quickly and they moved on to the dress code for the pub.</p><p>…..</p><p>Later that evening, they primped and got ready for drinks with Emmeline. Lily was a ball of nerves and excitement.</p><p>It had been far too long since she had gone out. She had only been out with Marlene of age a handful of times, mostly in Hogsmeade during the 7th year.</p><p>They apparated to Emmeline's house and used her floo system to arrive in Diagon Alley. The three witches started down the street in silence for a few minutes.</p><p>Emmeline suddenly stopped at a backstreet and turned with Marlene and Lily walked closely behind her.</p><p>Lily looked behind her in confusion. She had never noticed this alley behind Madame Malkin's shop. Two large men stood outside a purple door in the back of the building. Emmeline illuminated her wand and the girls followed suit.</p><p>"Hello, there. Brought the girls with me tonight." Emmeline laughed.</p><p>They stepped aside wordlessly and allowed the three girls to step inside. Lily's shoulders visibly relaxed once they stepped in. The bar was nothing like the dark exterior. It was clear that the room was temporarily extended to fit the long bar and many sitting areas. The room was noisy with laughter and Lily couldn't help but smile. It was incredibly vivid and lively. Emmeline and Lily sat an unoccupied table as Marlene headed towards the bar to buy their drinks.</p><p>"Wow, I can see why this is your favorite, Em."</p><p>"Oh, Marlene told you! I wanted to get your unbiased opinion."</p><p>"No, it's lovely. Not at all like what I pictured from the exterior." Lily chucked.</p><p>At that moment, Marlene returned with their drinks.</p><p>"Took bloody long enough, but on the plus side I got this." Marlene sat and pulled something out of her pocket. A small piece of parchment landed on the table.</p><p>"What is that?"</p><p>"Random guy's number." Marlene winked and jerked her heads towards the brown-haired man sitting at the end of the bar.</p><p>Lily and Emmeline giggled. He appeared to be in his mid-twenties and did not happen to notice the three young women staring.</p><p>"So, what do you girls think? He said his name is Dan."</p><p>"He's a decent bloke," Emmeline laughed.</p><p>"Yeah, decent." Lily nodded in agreement.</p><p>"Good. So, there's one for me, now we just need someone for Em."</p><p>"Preferably female." Emmeline said, eyeing a raven-haired girl across the room.</p><p>"Oi, and what about poor old Lily?" Lily glared.</p><p>"Well, don't look now Lily, but James Potter just walked in."</p><p>Lily's mind went berserk. She could feel her heartbeat thumping in her ears. She turned towards the entrance. James Potter sat at an empty table, nursing a firewhiskey. She hastily turned back around.</p><p>"Damn it." Lily groaned.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well, well here we are! Another late update and another James related cliffy. It's not the first but maybe one of the last. I just can't help myself. Hope you're all staying well. Let me know what you think</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Crying in the Car</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The music blared in Lily's ears. She could feel her face growing hot and knew that Marlene and Emmeline must have been watching her at this point.<br/>She didn't care. She stared openly at his messy hair and wondered why he sat alone. Her gaze broke to stare at her black skirt and play with the threads. Lily was broken out of her reverie by Marlene's voice.</p><p>"Emmeline, I hate to say it, but I'm glad you chose this place. This is quite a change of pace from the older crowd at the Leaky Cauldron."</p><p>"Yeah, that place tends to cater to the aging crowd." Emmeline replied with a sip of her drink.</p><p>"Seriously, the last time I was in there the music was making me fall asleep. This song, though," Marlene said, beginning to sway to the beat in her stool. "This song is amazing. Have you heard it before?"</p><p>"No, I don't reckon I have." Marlene and Emmeline were oblivious to Lily's distress. The pair continued on discussing music until Marlene slammed her hands down on the table.</p><p>"Shit! Why is he coming over here?" Marlene whispered. Lily's eyes grew wide as saucers.</p><p>"Who? What?"</p><p>Who was coming over here? She continued to panic and looked down at her glass of mead. It was full. She took a small sip of her drink and as she swallowed, she realized it was not James who was walking over to their table. Lily didn't realize it was disappointment she felt at that moment.</p><p>"Hi, girls. How long have you been sitting here? I'm disappointed that I didn't see you earlier." The man Marlene met had followed her over to the table. Lily blinked. She remembered his name was Dan.</p><p>Although he was rather plain, he had an unmistakably charming aura. He was about 5'9 and was just a few inches taller than Emmeline. His dark brown hair was combed neatly, and Lily could tell he spent a great deal of time trying to make it look effortless. There was something Lily liked about him that she couldn't quite put her finger on.</p><p>"No need for disappointment, we only just got here," Lily smiled sweetly. "I'm Lily Evans." She reached across the table and stuck her hand out to shake his.</p><p>"I'm Dan. Dan Weaver."</p><p>Emmeline introduced herself and invited him to sit in the empty chair opposite Lily's, next to Marlene.</p><p>"So, Dan, are you here all alone?" Emmeline asked quickly, smiling slyly at Marlene when he looked away.</p><p>"Not exactly; I was here with my cousin and a few mates, but they seem to have vanished. What are you girls drinking? Looks like mead?"</p><p>"Lily and I are. Emmeline is drinking firewhiskey."</p><p>"Cheers to that," Dan said, reaching out to clink their glasses. "So what is it you do here in London, Marlene?" He turned so he could face her.</p><p>"I know you and Potter didn't quite get on. Are you alright?" Emmeline whispered taking advantage of Marlene's distracted state. Lily shifted in her chair uncomfortably, trying to look in his direction nonchalantly. He still sat alone at his table, but at that moment, he turned to look in Lily's direction. She almost gasped. Still, he didn't seem to see her. She tried to follow his line of vision which fell on Dan and Marlene. Lily realized Emmeline was blocking her from his line of sight.</p><p>"Erm, yeah, we got on better during my seventh year. I would have even called us friends for a while there." Lily explained, taking another larger sip of the mead. Suddenly, she felt parched and downed the whole thing. Emmeline looked at her slightly concerned.</p><p>"Hmph. Past tense? Are you not friends anymore?" She asked, realizing she wasn't holding Lily's attention very well.</p><p>"Well… it's complicated. I would still consider us friends, but I'm not so sure he would," She explained, choosing her words carefully. She stood abruptly. The conversation between Dan and Marlene halted. "I'm going to get another drink." Lily walked away before anyone could protest. She felt her legs carrying her in his direction and tried to walk quickly before the self-doubt could creep in.</p><p>"Potter." She said, setting herself down on the stool across from his.</p><p>"Jesus Christ, Evans. Where in the fuck did you come from?" James nearly jumped out of his skin.</p><p>"What a lovely greeting for your former Head Girl." She retorted with a small smile. He looked away.</p><p>She took the moment to take him in. He was intoxicating. She had only seen him once in their years since Hogwarts. He only looked a little older; the laugh lines around his mouth ran a little deeper. She unconsciously licked her lips.</p><p>"It's been too long, Evans. Who are you here with?" He asked, looking around.</p><p>"Oh, just with Marlene and Emmeline. We've only been here about ten minutes and Marlene already picked up a bloke." Lily chuckled.</p><p>"Figures. Just the one bloke? None for Miss Evans or Miss Vance?" James teased.</p><p>"Nope, just Dan. He said he came with his cousin and friends, but I never saw them." James nodded and it grew quiet again. Lily shifted, trying desperately to fill the silence.</p><p>"Apparently, this is Emmeline's favorite bar." She tried again.</p><p>"Yeah, I've seen her in here before." He replied shortly. Lily frowned to herself, unsure of why he was being so short with her.</p><p>"Where are your mates? You four are rarely without each other."</p><p>"It's just me tonight. Listen, Evans, I wanted to talk to you about something, but I didn't want to upset you." James said seriously. Lily froze. She wondered if he would ask her out again. How would she respond?</p><p>No, of course not, Lily you big idiot. Wait, am I hoping that he asks me out again? Lily thought to herself in horror, struggling to keep her face emotionless.</p><p>"Erm, yeah go ahead. I'll try." She grimaced.</p><p>"I don't know how to say this, I reckon I just will. I heard about your mum and I just wanted to say I'm really sorry for your loss."</p><p>Lily realized her attempt at keeping her face impassive had completely failed by that point. She knew she would have to talk about this sooner or later. Lily wasn't stupid. Just hopeful. She had hoped that maybe it would happen later rather than sooner.</p><p>"Thanks Potter," She replied quietly. "It's been really hard. You know what's funny is that I'm a Gryffindor. I'm supposed to be brave. But when it came down to it, I was so scared. I couldn't bear to see her that way. I didn't want to remember her like that." Lily finished softly, forgetting where she was.</p><p>James nodded in understanding.</p><p>"I understand why you would think that, but you're the bravest person I know."</p><p>"Thank you. You know, I think I need a refill." She held up her empty cup of mead and walked to the bar. He didn't try to stop her. She collapsed into the empty stool in front of her and looked for the bartender.</p><p>What is happening? She wiped a tear that threatened to fall from her eyelid. Don't cry in a bar about your dead mum, Lily. Don't cry in a bar about your dead mum to bloody James Potter.</p><p>"Evans, I said I didn't mean to upset you." James slid casually into the empty stool next to hers. He waved down the bartender.</p><p>"No, it's not—you didn't…" Lily stammered pathetically. She stopped. She was about to apologize.</p><p>You haven't done anything wrong, Lily reminded herself firmly.</p><p>At that moment, the pretty bartender appeared in front of them.</p><p>"What'll it be, James?"</p><p>"Hi, Anna, two fire whiskeys please."</p><p>"Oi, Potter, I was drinking mead…"</p><p>"Sorry about my friend, she's drunk." Anna laughed and handed them the drinks.</p><p>"Friend?" Lily asked before she realized that she had it out loud. James shrugged casually and paid for their drinks before Lily could reach for money.</p><p>"Thanks, Potter." She smiled, taking a sip and walked back towards their table. Her lips tingled. After this drink, Lily decided, she would have to slow down.</p><p>"How'd you stumble across the restaurant?"</p><p>"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I really love that place. It's… lovely. Do you work there?" Lily asked excitedly.</p><p>"Yes. What did you want to ask me?"</p><p>"Well, I just wanted to give you a heads up that if they offer me a job there, I'm going to take it. No other place has been as keen."</p><p>"Are you asking me permission?"</p><p>"What? No! Absolutely not. I don't need your permission—" Lily retorted, her face starting to burn red.</p><p>"Well, I only asked because it seems like you want me to give you my blessing."</p><p>"I don't need your blessing, Potter." Lily said coldly.</p><p>"I'm just taking the piss, Evans. Don't get your knickers in a twist." James laughed humorlessly.</p><p>"Well, it was wonderful seeing you, Potter." Lily glowered and finished her drink. She stood and paused when her vision blurred but moved quickly towards Marlene and Emmeline. James watched her leave in silence.</p><p>"Well, how did it go?" Marlene asked hopefully. Dan was nowhere in sight. By the looks of all of the empty glasses on the table, Marlene and Emmeline did not pace themselves as Lily did.</p><p>"Erm, it could have gone better, I guess. Speaking from experience, definitely not as bad as it could have gone," Lily murmured. "Has Dan left?"</p><p>"He has," Emmeline slurred. "I really like Marlene and Dan together, Lily." She whispered loudly.</p><p>"Not as much as I like James and Lily together." Marlene giggled. Lily rolled her eyes and looked in the direction where she left James sitting alone.</p><p>"Ugh, shut up Mar." Lily groaned. He was gone. She tried to look around casually for his dark, messy head of hair, but it was nowhere to be found.</p><p>Outside, James did his best to keep up with Dan. He followed him all the way Charing Cross road when he was lost in the crowds of people. James stopped and turned back around towards Diagon Alley. The mission was shot.</p><p>"Padfoot! Come on, answer me!" James muttered angrily to a mirror. He quickly left the bar after his conversation with Lily. He was almost completely distracted by her presence.</p><p>After a second, Sirius appeared.</p><p>"What's going on, Prongs?"</p><p>"Lost Dan. I didn't see Donovan tonight… I did have some inside information that he was at The Dancing Hippogriff."</p><p>"Inside information? Prongs, you do know that we're not actually spies, right?" Sirius mocked.</p><p>"'Course I do. Also, I saw Lily tonight. She told me that Dan's cousin was hanging around." James admitted.</p><p>"Okay, I guess we'll discuss Lily later. How the hell does Lily Evans know who Donovan Avery is?"</p><p>"Well, she doesn't. She only met Dan tonight; Donovan was nowhere to be seen. Apparently, Dan couldn't keep his hands off of McKinnon tonight."</p><p>"Typical." Sirius snorted. Marlene was one of the most sought-after girls in Gryffindor.</p><p>"I'm not sure what to think. Listen, I'm going home. We'll discuss the rest tomorrow." James said, putting the mirror away and diapparating with a pop.</p><p>Lily collapsed on the sofa, finally home with Marlene. She helped Marlene to her bed and set a glass of water on her nightstand.</p><p>"Good night, Mar. Sleep tight." Lily said, walking to the door.</p><p>"Wait. I have to tell you something." Marlene said seriously, not moving from under the covers.</p><p>"What, Mar?" Lily asked, she sat at the end of Marlene's bed.</p><p>"I love you, Lily. I feel like nobody says it enough." Marlene started to laugh, but abruptly stopped.</p><p>"I love you too, Mar." Lily replied, rolling her eyes.</p><p>"Also… we all missed you so bloody much, especially James. Every time we saw each other, he asked me about you."</p><p>"Wait, what? Really?" At this, Marlene didn't respond. She began to breathe more heavily. She was asleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: So, I am naming each chapter after a song that inspired me for that chapter. I posted the link on my profile. Lol let me know what you think. About the songs, the chapter, and the story so far! xoxo</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Streets</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi everyone!<br/>I was heavily inspired by the book Sweetbitter by Stephanie Danler. If I take too long updating and you'd like to read something good, I really recommend. There are also two seasons of the show on Starz, but it got cancelled. You actually won't be spoiling anything from How to Disappear because I just incorporated very few aspects of that book (mainly the restaurant). My story takes a completely different turn, but that book is such a treat. It's like reading poetry.</p>
<p>Onward with the story!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning, James woke up after only a few hours of sleep. Frank Longbottom asked him to relay everything from his reconnaissance assignment before his shift at the Ministry. They were going to connect from the floo system between their respective homes.</p>
<p>Frank was still considered a Junior Auror since he graduated from Hogwarts only a few years before James. He worked meticulously to keep his Auror work and work for the Order of the Phoenix separate.</p>
<p>Sometimes, it was inevitable. The Ministry required documentation and reports of every encounter done and Frank couldn't afford for all of his side work to get into the wrong hands. Frank encouraged James to enter the training academy, but James refused in favor of working directly for Dumbledore.</p>
<p>"James!" Frank's disembodied voice called into the study. James's eyes flew open. He realized he had been falling asleep on the living chair as he waited for Frank to initiate their call.</p>
<p>"Longbottom, I went last night like we discussed. I tried to follow Donovan, but I lost him. He's a tricky bastard. I kept eyes on his cousin Dan for a while."</p>
<p>"I see. Dan's clean, isn't he?" Frank said, furrowed his brow.</p>
<p>"He is. I didn't see him involved in anything suspicious, but I don't trust his familial association."</p>
<p>"Right, have you seen anything off at Little Italy?" James used the nickname for Martinelli's so if their conversation was being eavesdropped on, it wouldn't be so obvious what they were discussing.</p>
<p>"There has been some suspicious activity… some seedy people in the owner's office. I'll mention it if more comes of it," James said. "Also, I don't know if you knew this, but Lily did an interview there for a server. I think she may get hired." James said carefully, thinking back to the beautiful redhead.</p>
<p>She looked more exquisite than he remembered, but there was something different about her that James was struggling to recognize.</p>
<p>"Marlene told Alice about that. Alice thinks she may be useful for getting closer to the staff. If Dumbledore thinks there's something going, odds of the staff finding out are high. Someone has to have seen something. No offense, James, but Lily sort of has a better shot at being our eyes there." Frank explained.</p>
<p>"None taken. That was going to be my suggestion. I heard Emmeline invited her to the next meeting. I reckon she'll go."</p>
<p>"I think that does it for everything I had. Same time next week, yeah? Oh! Potter, before I forget. Next Friday night, Alice and I are having a small get-together to celebrate our engagement. It's just a little dinner party. Tell the boys and bring a date if you'd like." Frank winked, quickly ending their conversation.</p>
<p>James sighed heavily and went back to bed, contemplating Frank's final suggestion.</p>
<p>It would take a lot more than Lily's mere stunning appearance to make him forget the way she had made him feel, the way she had made him hurt. He tried so hard to fight it. Still, he longed to wrap her in his arms and never let her leave them again.</p>
<p>He made sure the first thing he did was wish her well and acknowledge that she was hurting.</p>
<p>Maybe that was what different about her. She was still wrapped in grief and pain; it must be clouding her vision. James heard the entire story of Lily and her mum from Marlene. Mr. and Mrs. Evans divorced many, many years ago. Neither he nor Marlene knew the circumstances of their divorce, only that her parents remained friends.</p>
<p>However, James knew that more often than not, mothers tend to get primary custody of the children. He also knew that Lily and her sister lived with their father and their mum resided in Spain for most of her life.</p>
<p>Until she fell ill and had nowhere else to turn but back to Lily's childhood home.</p>
<p>Later that morning, Lily rose to Marlene crawling into her room; literally crawling on the floor. Marlene pulled herself up into Lily's bed.</p>
<p>"Lily, mate, what the hell did I drink last night?"</p>
<p>"For fuck's sake, Marlene it's eight in the morning. What didn't you drink last night? Lily grumbled loudly, unhappy with being woken up.</p>
<p>"Oi, oi, quit it with the yelling." Marlene whispered, putting her hands over her ears.</p>
<p>"I wasn't yelling." The pair laid there in silence and Lily did her best to try and go back to sleep. After ten minutes, they both seemed to realize that it was futile to try and go back to sleep. At least, that was the conclusion Marlene came to.</p>
<p>"You talked to James for a long time last night." Marlene observed, breaking the silence. Lily opened her eyes quickly and looked over to see her friend lying still, staring at the ceiling.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I brought up Martinelli's," Lily rolled her eyes at the memory. "He started acting like a wanker. He can be rather pleasant at times and then he just ruins it by being so… Potter. You mentioned him last night when we got back here."</p>
<p>"Did I? I don't remember getting home, honestly…" Marlene replied. "What did I say?"</p>
<p>"You said Potter missed me the most out of everyone. And you said that he asked about me every time he saw you." Lily said skeptically.</p>
<p>"He did. It was kind of pathetic after a while." Marlene said seriously.</p>
<p>"I think it's sweet."</p>
<p>"Yeah, yeah. What did you think of Dan?" Marlene asked, changing the subject.</p>
<p>"Ooh, there's something about him, Mar. He's charming. Are you going to call him today?"</p>
<p>Marlene looked back at her scandalized.</p>
<p>"Lily, of course not. Do you call a bloke the day after you meet them? I'm worried for you. When was the last time you went on a date?"</p>
<p>"Erm, not since Hogwarts. But there were no phones. And the only option was Hogsmeade. And we went to school together. Never?" Lily wondered aloud, thinking back to her love life at Hogwarts. She cringed.</p>
<p>"He's so complex. I swear we only talked for thirty minutes, but it felt like hours. His mum is Muggle-born, which is why he has a telephone. I swear they do not make them like that anymore. I think sometimes blokes forget that sticking their head in a fireplace and asking me to go over to their mum's house to fool around is not romantic in the slightest." Marlene sighed, as though Lily was not even there.</p>
<p>It was silent again. The phone in the kitchen rang loudly.</p>
<p>"I'll get it." Lily muttered. She scurried to the kitchen.</p>
<p>"Hello?"</p>
<p>"Hi, is Lily Evans available?" A bored, female voice on the other end asked.</p>
<p>"Speaking."</p>
<p>"Hello, Lily. This is Tess, Paul's assistant here from Martinelli's."</p>
<p>"Oh, hi!" Lily interrupted.</p>
<p>"Yes, hello. I was just calling to tell you that we're inviting you to start as a back waiter at the restaurant. So, if you're still interested, come by Monday at two in the afternoon. Wear black pants and don't be late. We'll provide the rest."</p>
<p>"Wow, thank you so much. I'm so excited. You will not regret this."</p>
<p>"Mhm. Goodbye." Tess said uninterested, ending the call.</p>
<p>Lily didn't let Tess's apathy get to her. She was giddy with excitement.</p>
<p>"Who was that?" She spun around at Marlene's voice.</p>
<p>"Guess!"</p>
<p>"No come on! Who was that?" Marlene pleaded.</p>
<p>"Martinelli's. I start tomorrow!"</p>
<p>"How exciting, Lily! I would say let's drink to the good news, but I think we've done enough of that," Marlene said.</p>
<p>Lily looked at her, surprised. Marlene came from a family where drinking was not a major concern. Meanwhile, Mr. Evans and Petunia strongly disliked it. Lily quite enjoyed a stiff drink and especially enjoyed it with Marlene.</p>
<p>"Nah, I'm just joking. Hair of the dog. How about mimosas?" Marlene sang.</p>
<p>"Sounds lovely."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Enjoy this short little bit and I be posting a long chapter either tomorrow or Monday, May 11. Or I may post two short-ish chapters. Haven't decided.</p>
<p>The next few chapters are action packed and I feel like this chapter while short, has the first focus on James and his POV!</p>
<p>By the way, I live in Los Angeles, so you know my time zone. Leave a review, please :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Trust No Man</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Enjoy! Warning- This chapter contains mentions of drug use and profanity.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Monday arrived sooner than she expected. Lily started to get ready far too early that morning.</p><p>Her long, fiery locks were tamed back into a ponytail that rested on the crown of her head. It fell naturally in soft ringlets. She loosened a few tendrils of hair to frame her face. She had taken the time to do her make up just so.</p><p>Lily buzzed with excitement. It had been such an exciting time since she moved to London. She walked back into her room and looked at the picture of her and her mother on the dresser.</p><p>She was so small, maybe five years old in this picture.</p><p>It was the last time her mother lived in the same house as her father. She smiled at her wild, red hair in the photograph. She looked down at her watch, which let her know it was time to go. She stuffed her wand into her pocket and headed out the door.</p><p>Once Lily reached the restaurant, she was full of nervous energy. She studied the outside of the building, which was covered in red brick. It suddenly appeared enormous to her. She went in and walked to the back towards the kitchen area.</p><p>"You must be Lily." A soft, mellow voice called out to her. Lily looked around the voice and saw a tall, blonde woman coming down the stairs from the upper dining area. She walked so gracefully, it seemed as though she was floating.</p><p>"Yes, hi, how are you?"</p><p>"I'm well, thank you." The woman reached Lily and shook her hand. Her flaxen hair was pulled back into a low plait and she had a beautifully symmetrical face. Lily guessed that she was maybe in her late twenties. Her lips wore the brightest shade of red lipstick Lily had ever seen. "I'm Molly."</p><p>"Hi, Molly. Will you be the one training me today?"</p><p>"Unfortunately, not." said Paul, emerging from the kitchen doors. It was the manager who conducted Lily's interview. He looked Lily up and down in a way that made her fidget uncomfortably. Molly looked away, uninterested.</p><p>He wore a dark blue suit with a white button up and a pale blue handkerchief. He was dressed much more smartly today than the last time Lily saw him. "I will have Molly show you to the lockers. Everything you'll need will be in your locker. Once you're done, make sure you both come out. I have a special surprise for the entire staff."</p><p>Molly led Lily silently behind the kitchen area to a locker room. The lockers had a crude label taped over her own that read 'New Girl'. The few people inside stopped talking to crane their necks towards Molly and Lily.</p><p>"Change into that, make sure you don't leave your shit just lying anywhere. People steal. Come upstairs when you're done." She pointed to a periwinkle button up shirt, not unlike her own and walked away quickly.</p><p>Lily hurriedly changed with her back to the other people in the room. She put her apron and changed into her black non-slip shoes. Suddenly, she felt somebody watching her. She spun around to see a familiar face.</p><p>"Dan?"</p><p>"Oh, Lily, was it? Hi, I didn't recognize you." He replied, stunned. He wore a white collared button-up, with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms. His hair was styled in the same tidy way as two nights ago.</p><p>"I didn't know you worked here," Lily said. "I wonder why P—"</p><p>"Listen, princess, we don't have all day for you. Let's go upstairs." He interrupted sardonically and took her hand. He led her to the stairway in the main dining room and didn't let go until they reached the landing at the top of the stairs. He quickly let go out of her hand. They approached a table with about 15 people and only a few seats left, so Lily guessed they may have been the last to arrive. Everyone passed food throughout the table, but no one was eating.</p><p>He sat next to a brunette with a large, brown eyes. Her face was a perfect heart shape and she smiled knowingly at Lily. Lily took a seat across from Dan and tried to search slyly for James. He was nowhere to be found.</p><p>
  <em>He said he worked here, where is he?</em>
</p><p>She took the pesto pasta from the Dan and piled them onto her plate. A nameless face passed her a small bowl with garlic bread. Another bowl of a creamy pasta with mushrooms and Marsala sauce was passed to her.</p><p>The cuisine continued to come, and she filled her plate. Lily suddenly looked down at the monstrous plate of food. She had no intention of eating. Her stomach suddenly turned, and she forced herself to look elsewhere.</p><p>She made eye contact with Molly at the other end of the table, who was talking quietly with a man with large, thick black glasses. He was maybe in his early forties. She moved her eyes closer to the skinny, bald man talking to a woman with straight long, black hair next to her. They spoke in hurried whispers and only stopped when they saw Lily looking in their direction.</p><p>"Hey, New Girl, you look like a baby. How old are you?" The bald man asked her. He had a fair complexion as well as a beautiful, harmonious voice.</p><p>"Oh, I'm nineteen." Lily blushed.</p><p>"He gets them younger and younger," The man whispered loudly to the woman, "I'm Thomas and this is Melody." He pointed to the woman next to him. Melody looked to be close Lily's age, while Thomas appeared to be a several years older.</p><p>Lily coveted the woman's dewy, brown skin. She glanced down at pale, white hands. She made a mental note to try and lay out on Marlene's balcony soon. She knew she could never match the woman's naturally stunning deep shade, but she could at least try for a more sun kissed tone.</p><p>"I'm Lily." She finally replied.</p><p>"Why the fuck does he always do this to us? I'm getting sick of his shit. He's the absolute worst. He has a terrible attitude and he just cannot be arsed to attend a single meeting on time," Melody complained to Thomas and Lily, after a beat. "Can we just start already? I'm bloody famished."</p><p>"Patience, Melody, patience dear girl," Thomas purred. He turned to another woman on the other side of him, closer to Molly and the man with the black glasses. "Cassie, talk some sense into your friend."</p><p>"Who is she talking about?" The brown-haired woman asked innocently. Both Thomas and Melody shot her exasperated looks.</p><p>At once, Lily heard a loud slam of the front door and heavy clomping up the stairs. A sweaty and out of breath James Potter appeared and took the empty chair two seats over from Dan. He did not spare a look at Lily.</p><p>"I'm here, why haven't we begun?" James said, piling food onto his plate.</p><p>"Do we ever start without you?" Melody sneered.</p><p>"Well, Mel-Mel, I would be absolutely fucking heartbroken if you did." James said, sounding anything but. Talking came to an abrupt halt as the entire staff began to eat at James's arrival. Lily took a small bite of her food and studied everyone around her.<br/>So many nameless faces. She worked to avoid James's eyes and tried to remember the names of the people she had already met. There was James (although he had yet to acknowledge her), Dan, Molly, Thomas, Melody, Cassie, and Paul.</p><p>She sat satisfied with herself as she ate most of the pasta on her plate.</p><p>Paul stood as many had finished eating. Lily noticed he did not eat and did not even have a plate in front of him to begin with.</p><p>"Thank you all for coming. Let's work on setting our watches to the correct time," Paul made his distaste obvious and narrowed his eyes on James who continued to eat, unphased. He continued. "I have brought to you a bottle, special from the Owner's collection. This is the Riesling. Vintage. 1966." Lily mentally checked out as Paul continued about offering the wine to their guests.</p><p>Suddenly, she realized she had mentally checked out for too long as everyone was throwing their cloth napkin over their plate and standing. Lily followed suit and helped carry the tray of dirty plates and linens downstairs.</p><p>After the dishes were sorted, she saw Dan standing over by the bar area with the man with the thick, black glasses. She learned his name was Connall and that he worked as a bartender. She walked over towards them.</p><p>She wondered if any of them were wizards or witches, since she knew Dan and James were definitely wizards. Suddenly, everyone began to scatter. Disoriented, Lily looked down at her watch to check the time. It was now three in the afternoon. Her shift had officially started and meant to continue until eleven. She thought she saw Dan stride past her into the kitchen out of her peripheral vision. Lily reached out to grab his arm as he passed.</p><p>"Hey, Dan, am I supposed to—" she started, but halted when she looked up and realized she had James in a vice-like grip.</p><p>"Hello." James looked down at her.</p><p>"Oh, I'm so sorry I thought you were my- I mean… You looked like Dan out of the corner of my eye." Lily flushed furiously, dropping her hand from his forearm. Her hand burned and she caught a reflection of herself in a mirror. She was red from her chest to her forehead.</p><p>"Evans, your keeper is over there." James pointed to where Dan stood across the room.</p><p>"Right, sorry. What do you do here anyway, Potter?" She asked before he could walk away.</p><p>"I work here." He responded.</p><p>"I'm not daft, I meant are you a server or—"</p><p>"Bartender." He answered before walking away swiftly.</p><p>"Don't be offended, he doesn't talk to anyone too much. He dazzles all of the lonely wives who stumble in here with their loser husbands, but he knows he's fit. Biggest turn off ever. He thinks he's too good for us. I swore myself off men again when he rejected me." Melody said, suddenly appearing at Lily's side. She had pulled her long sheet of black hair into a bun on the top of her head. Lily tried to absorb what she said, but was dazed by her eyes.</p><p>"Complete heterochromia." Lily said, enraptured by her different colored eyes. She had green eye and hazel eye.</p><p>"Color me impressed. Not many people know what it's called."</p><p>"My mum had eyes like that. Green and brown, though. Yours is a lovely hazel color."</p><p>"Had?" Melody prodded. "Does she not have them anymore?"</p><p>"No, she died."</p><p>"Ah, I'm very sorry to hear that." Melody replied, looking genuinely forlorn.</p><p>"Don't worry about it."</p><p>The rest of the day passed in a blur as Lily struggled to remember all of the table numbers, names of the staff, and menu. She spent most of the day folding napkins and bussing tables when she wasn't trailing Dan. She did not expect him to be so smooth. He mastered speaking in what seemed like code to all of the guests. Lily was also shocked by the dizzying number of guests and staff who gravitated to Molly. Even Dan went to ask her questions several times that evening.</p><p>She spent a decent part of the night pulling wine from the cellar with Cassie.</p><p>"So, New Girl, what do you think of James? I saw you with him earlier. Isn't he just delicious?" Cassie giggled.</p><p>"Erm, he's fine, I guess." Lily rolled her eyes, suddenly annoyed.</p><p>"Well, hope you aren't crushing too hard, if at all. He's rotated through all of the staff here; he's dating Molly now."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Yeah, he dated Alina, Tess, Paige, Liz. The shorter list is the one of girls he hasn't dated."</p><p>"Of course, he did." Lily snorted. Cassie watched her reaction. Lily stared down at the wine in her hands. She felt lied to, but it wasn't exactly as though she asked if he was dating.</p><p>Lily made the mistake of assuming he would always wait for her. She nodded silently and stayed quiet for the remainder of their time together.</p><hr/><p>"So, Lily, what's your poison?" Melody asked.</p><p>Lily blinked. They were both changing next to each other in the locker room at the end of the night. Melody primped in the small mirror she kept in her locker, applying dark brown lipstick. She didn't realize how different Melody looked out of her work clothes. She looked positively glamorous in a tiny animal print tank top with a leather jacket. She was one of the few who actually referred to her by her name and not 'New Girl'.</p><p>"My poison?"</p><p>"Mine are mandies, Thomas likes coke. You know, that kind of thing. We're all going out after our shift drink. I'm not sure what bar we're going to, but I want you to come," Lily stared back her, perplexed. "You know, Quaaludes, mandrakes? No, never? Shift drinks are the drinks we all have at the end of night. As a thank you from the Owner. Are you more of a drinker? Please don't tell me you're straight." Melody said, taking her hand softly in hers.</p><p>Lily wore another puzzled look on her face but let Melody's hand slip in hers.</p><p>"Straight? Like heterosexual? Think I am." Lily said. She led her to the bar area, where the entire staff sat and mingled.</p><p>Melody let go and kept walking towards Thomas and Dan. Lily followed closely behind her.</p><p>"No, Lily! I mean good to know, I guess. But I meant like straight edge. Do you drink? Or do drugs?" Melody sniggered.</p><p>"Oh! Well I do fancy a drink. But I've never done any drugs." Lily said, shamelessly.</p><p>"Not even pot?" Lily shook her head no firmly. "I see. What a sheltered life you lead."</p><p>Lily didn't like her patronizing tone.</p><p>They stood chatting with Thomas about the museums in London. Connall walked over to the three of them with a pale lager for Melody and a Chardonnay for Lily.</p><p>He walked back behind the bar, next to James who was still wiping down glasses. James peered up to watch Lily. When he was finished, he walked straight up to Lily who sat giggling with Dan.</p><p>"Sorry to interrupt. Can we have a chat, Lily?" James asked. Lily nodded and Dan turned instead to talk to Cassie.</p><p>"Do you mind if we go outside?" James asked and without waiting for an answer, put his hand on the small of her back and led her out the front door.</p><p>There was a bench right out front where their guests sometimes smoked outside. She sat and took a sip of her wine. James suddenly felt extremely nervous.</p><p>"Listen, Lily, it's great you got the job here. But there is something I need to bring up regarding the Order." James started quietly. "I'm here trying to gain information and very few people here know that I'm a wizard. I just wanted to remind you that not everyone here has your best interests at heart." Lily nodded, perplexed by what he was implying.</p><p>"What kind of information? And, other than you, Dan, and I, are there any magical beings here?"</p><p>"Information about who's friendly to Death Eaters. And that's what I've been trying to figure out. I'm not here slinking around like Nancy Drew, but there have been three separate incidents involving dark magic that lead directly back here. I've been working with someone in the Auror Department and I have to yet find anything suspicious," James responded thoughtfully. "I just wanted to remind you that if you see anything, you can trust me. Personally, I would not trust anyone else here quite yet."</p><p><em>Trust him? After he lied? </em>Lily shook away those thoughts.<em> That's not fair.</em></p><p>Lily mulled it over in silence.</p><p>"Right, I'll let you know." She made to stand, but James beckoned her to come closer.</p><p>"Are you going to the Red Room tonight?"</p><p>"Is that what it's called? I was going to hang out with Melody and her lot. I don't know the name of the place." She said, trying desperately to seem uninterested in their conversation.</p><p>"Red Room is the tavern they usually go to. Maybe I'll see you there?" There was absolutely no doubt in his mind that he was going.</p><p>"Maybe you will."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>That's it! I just wanted to remind everyone that this story is very AU if that hasn't been made clear yet. I'm really excited for you to continue Lily's journey with me. Although James's POV is shown, Lily is the main character of this story. Next chapter is where things really start getting good! Check out the playlist on my profile for this story.</p><p>Xoxo Valerie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. To Feel Alive</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After his conversation with Lily, James walked down a dark alley to disapparate home. He arrived with a pop at Potter Manor in Godric's Hollow.</p><p>"Padfoot! Where are you?" James called, walking in through a side door into the kitchen.</p><p>"Hey, did you just get home?" Sirius appeared at once from the sitting room.</p><p>"I did. Want to go to the Red Room with me?" James asked.</p><p>"Absolutely, James, I have nothing better to do. I live to be the sidekick to your shenanigans." Sirius glared.</p><p>"Come on, you know I'd do it for you. Try to look decent. Molly will be there. She looked fit tonight."</p><p>"How many times do I have to tell you, there's nothing going on between Molly and me? She's just a friend." Sirius sighed.</p><p>"Sirius, you're my best mate; I know you better than you know yourself. You two have this weird silent attraction. Even Mum has asked me if you two are dating. Molly hangs around me all day asking about you. Get dressed so we can go get pissed with Molly and Lily."</p><p>"Lily will be there? Lily Lily? From Hogwarts? Lily Evans? That Lily? The one you were in love with? Are you two getting on? I thought you were angry with her." Sirius said, confused.</p><p>"That's the only Lily we know. Angry's a bit of a strong word. More like annoyed. I can't stay upset with her. She was the most clever girl at Hogwarts. We need her in the Order."</p><p>"Prongs, you can't walk on eggshells around the girl. Your feelings are complex and she won't understand how you feel unless you tell her."</p><p>"Listen, it's not really not that big of a deal. Yes, I liked her at Hogwarts. A fucking lot. We tried it out. It didn't work. She went home. I don't like her anymore. It's really not as profound as you're making it sound."</p><p>"That's bull and you know it. I'm ready now."</p><p>"Brilliant."</p><hr/><p>Lily knew drinking right now was a bad idea. She had done far too much of it and now was paying dearly for all the alcohol she had consumed. Her mind raced with thoughts and she couldn't get the thought of James and Molly kissing out of her head.</p><p>"Come on, we can go out the back." Thomas replied to her plea to leave from where they were. Thomas, Melody, Cassie, and Dan walked with Lily to the back exit of the restaurant. They walked in silence down a back alley. They only walked for a few minutes when they reached a small bar glowing in red light.</p><p>They skulked to a table in the back. Slowly, various staff from the restaurant came to their table with various drinks. Lily drank two, three, four shots of vodka with Cassie and a nameless busboy who couldn't have been older than eighteen. Melody and Dan were dancing with a large group of other couples. Melody slinked into the seat next to Lily's.</p><p>"Hi, girls. Fancy a trip to the loo?"</p><p>"Of course, we do." Cassie said and the three wandered over to the lavatory. The three of them entered the large stall and upon entering, Melody pulled her bag off of her shoulder and reached inside for a small, pink pill bottle. Lily's eyes widened.</p><p>"Disco biscuit, love? Maybe some coke?" Melody offered, handing her a pill. Her first impression of the staff's recreational drug use flew out the window. Melody's bag had enough bottles to sedate the entire bar and then some. There was nothing casual about this.</p><p>"What does this do?" Lily asked, taking a small, white pill into her hand.</p><p>"Well, it's a Quaalude so it's a depressant. Coke, obviously, is coke." Melody held up a small bag filled with white powder. Lily weighed her options; she knew Melody and Cassie were effectively strangers.</p><p>Still, they had amused her and the drinks from earlier lowered her inhibitions. Lily wanted to push all of the thoughts of James out of her head. She knew she was backsliding. Tonight, her mind was a jumbled mess of voices telling her to use caution: Petunia, her father, and even James. So, she chose to drown them all out with a manageable high.</p><p>Lily handed the pill to Cassie who swallowed it instantly.</p><p><em>Should I really be doing this?</em> Lily looked into Melody's eyes quickly. She saw her mother's strange two-toned eyes in them. She looked down at the line Melody made for her and snorted it. Melody did the same and Lily led the way out of the bathroom.</p><p>"So, Melody took you to the bathroom, I take it?" Dan winked, the moment the she returned. She plopped herself next to him in the circular booth. People sat there earlier, but now the table was empty.</p><p>Lily looked around for Melody and Cassie. She spotted them chatting with two men who invited the pair to dance.</p><p>"How did you know?" Lily asked in amazement. His eyes twinkled with hilarity.</p><p>"It's like their warped version of initiation. They're just predictable. And you passed their test."</p><p>"I see, so I'm not special. Are they like some kind of twisted, freaky sorority?" Lily laughed.</p><p>"Now you're just putting words in my mouth," Dan laughed. "No one said you weren't special."</p><p>"All right, Evans?" They looked up and saw James slowly sliding into the booth next to Lily with Sirius. He beamed when he saw her, not picking up the fact that she was high.</p><p>"Hey, James. We don't usually catch you in here." Dan looked surprised.</p><p>"Hello, Thomas, this is my mate Sirius." Dan eyed Sirius before shaking his hand.</p><p>Lily felt a rush of adrenaline as James's arm brushed hers.</p><p>"Hi, you two!" Lily said. They responded in simultaneous harmonious responses at the same time that earned a giggle from Lily.</p><p>"James, when's the last time we danced together? Wait, let's all take a shot first." Lily slurred slightly. Sirius cast a concerned look at James, but James wasn't paying attention. He was enraptured by Lily's eagerness. She ordered four shots and had them in front of the boys before they could protest.</p><p>"Cheers, boys."</p><p>"You are too kind, Lily love. How much have you had to drink?" Sirius asked, after they all took the shot.</p><p>"Oh, don't go there, Black. I had to sit through party after party in the Gryffindor common room. Now, we're of age and you're being a wet blanket?"</p><p>"She does make a good point, Pads." James interjected. Sirius shot him a withering look.</p><p>"Wasn't today your first day of work? I guess I understand now why you're celebrating."</p><p>"Obvs, why else would I be here?" It fell silent now as the four of them observed the people dancing.</p><p>"I have to use the restroom." James said out of nowhere.</p><p>Lily watched James walk away silently. She wondered where he was going.</p><p>Melody slid into the booth a few minutes after James departed.</p><p>"Don't believe we've met." Melody said to Sirius.</p><p>"How could we have not?" Sirius flirted easily. They exchanged quick introductions.</p><p>Lily continued talking to Dan after James left, mostly out of pity. She quickly learned that while he gave guests the full experience at the restaurant, it was all a show. There wasn't much substance.</p><p>Lily knew they had nothing in common, but she realized the downfall in mixing business with pleasure was that the hierarchy remained.</p><p>She was at the bottom of the pyramid and thus was forced to sit here and listen to him drone on. She let her mind wander back to James and the Order. She did not have to participate in the conversation with Dan too much, which was completely different than how James was.</p><p>James was arrogant, but he always asked about her. She wondered if Dan would flirt with an inanimate object that wore a skirt.</p><p>This normally would have pissed her off but right now it was fine because stringing a sentence together proved extremely difficult. The room started to spin, and Lily chased this feeling. She was so dazed that she couldn't focus on anything for too long. He was asking her something now. Her eyes snapped back to his.</p><p>Lily wasn't sure what Dan said, but she agreed. They were both suddenly standing, and Sirius was nowhere to be seen. Melody didn't join them.</p><p>"Where are we going?" They walked outside away from the Red Room.</p><p>"You said you would come with me."</p><p>"No, I didn't."</p><p>She didn't remember that but kept walking with him. He seemed sober enough and she thought this might be the safest way home. He took her to an old car with leather seats. They got in and he turned the engine over. Lily didn't recognize it.</p><p>"Well, just come with me. How would you get home safely? I have a spare bedroom, no funny business I swear." He promised, repeating the same thought she had. She nodded lazily.</p><p>They drove to his apartment, which he said was a few minutes away, and parked outside of an old building.</p><p>"My cousin and his friends might be home. I live with my cousin, Donovan." He stopped at a door with the letter "G" on the outside.</p><p>There was a small buzz of chatter inside the flat, but Lily couldn't recognize the source. She was tired.</p><p>They went inside of what looked to be a guest room, dimly lit by candlelight.</p><p>"You can lay down there, Lily. Don't worry. Good night." He shut the door behind him.</p><p>"Good night. Thanks, Dan." He left, presumably to his own room. She lay there on the bed of the cool, dark room. The room was devoid of much decoration.</p><p>She lay there and the low buzz of voices grew louder and louder. She slowly got up from the bed and pressed her ear to the door.</p><p>"… The Potter boy takes after his father, a blood traitor. Black was stuck to his side." She heard Dan saying.</p><p>"Everyone knows that. They went to Hogwarts together. Tell me something the entire Wizarding world doesn't know. What else happened?"</p><p>"That's all I know…" She heard laughter of maybe three men.</p><p>"If you think of anything serious, you know how to get a hold of us. We cannot have anything ruining the plan."</p><p>"Tell your cousin if he doesn't show up next time, the Dark Lord will have his head." A new voice started talking. Lily almost gasped. Her blood ran cold as she recognized the voice of Severus Snape outside of the door.</p><p>She looked around for an escape. There was a window, but it was locked. She pulled out her wand and unlocked it. She crawled out and was in a courtyard. Lily walked to the side around to a gate. She tried to open it as quietly as possible, but it still creaked loudly. She looked back, but there was no one there.</p><p>She ran until she found an empty alley and disapparated back to Marlene's flat. Lily stumbled onto the couch and everything slowly faded to black as she fell asleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi everyone! As I said, AU. I think Lily and James's relationship is a lot more complex and nuanced that people know. They've clearly hurt each other a lot and have a long, difficult journey ahead. I hope this chapter gives you some more answers (and more questions!). Hope you all are staying safe. Thanks so much!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Fly Me to the Moon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Wake up, Lily," Marlene said gently. "I have to go to work, go to your bed."</p><p>Lily groaned and rose slowly with embarrassment.</p><p>"Here, drink this pepper-up potion." Marlene handed her a small vial.</p><p>"Thank you so much," Lily said, drinking it all. It tasted bitter, but Marlene also handed her a glass of water. "I am so sorry. I'm beyond mortified." She put it down on the dining table before walking into her room.</p><p>"It's fine, don't apologize. You did it for me. What happened to you?" Marlene asked. Lily sat on her bed and Marlene rested next to her.</p><p>"Ugh, honestly, I drank way too much. I also may have done some coke with my new co-workers." Lily admitted.</p><p>"Lily! You started doing drugs? After your first day on the job?"</p><p>"Honestly, yeah. It just kind of seemed like their thing. And it seemed appealing at the time. But it's not like I 'started' doing drugs. I did it once."</p><p>"I didn't know you did that kind of thing, Lily."</p><p>"It kind of just happened," Lily murmured. She thought back to the reason why she decided to do it in the first place. "Oh God, at work Cassie told me James is dating Molly, one of the servers. I think it actually made me a bit bitter."</p><p>"What?" Marlene asked, her eyebrows nearly disappeared into her hairline. "You've finally fallen for this?" Marlene imitated James and ran her hands through her hair incessantly. Lily glared at her but couldn't stop herself from smiling at her ridiculous display.</p><p>"I haven't fallen for anyone, Marlene." Lily denied vehemently.</p><p>"I think you fancy him and I think you should tell him! I bet he still fancies the pants off you. It's perfect."</p><p>Lily shook her head.</p><p>"Did you hear what I said? He's dating someone."</p><p>"For some reason, I really doubt that."</p><p>"Well, it doesn't matter. He could be dating the bloody Queen and I wouldn't care."</p><p>"Really? I feel like that would be interesting, given the age difference." Marlene quipped.</p><p>"Right... Anyway, James and Sirius were both there last night, alone, mind you. Oh, and Dan was there… He actually works at Martinelli's too, isn't that mad?"</p><p>"That's very interesting. Potter never mentioned it that night at The Dancing Hippogriff? I thought he saw him."</p><p>"No, he didn't say anything. I wondered the same thing," Lily slowly remembered the terror she felt at the end of the night. "Mar, you will never guess who was at Dan's flat."</p><p>"You went to Dan's flat? This sounds like quite a night I missed." Marlene asked, slightly hurt.</p><p>"Well yes, but not like that, Mar. Nothing happened. He was helping me out." Lily began to recount the story to Marlene.</p><p>"So, how do you know Snape was there?"</p><p>"I heard his voice. I'd know his voice anywhere." Lily conceded. It was not a fact she seemed proud of.</p><p>"Bloody insane." Marlene said, her eyes wide.</p><p>"The Order meeting is tonight. I'm definitely going now. I think I have to talk to James first." Lily sighed. "I can't believe was right. Don't ever tell him that I said he was right."</p><p>"I won't. I have to go to work now. We'll talk later!" Marlene departed with a final wave.</p><p>Lily didn't know what she should do today. She had the day off, thankfully and didn't have to face the possibility of seeing Dan today. She knew she would have to face him sooner or later. She had to have a plan in place. What if he questioned her about disappearing that night?</p><p>Lily closed her eyes and thought of the happiest memory she had.</p><p>She opened her eyes and cast her Patronus. The smooth, jazzy voice of Bobby Womack's <em>Fly Me to the Moon</em> filled her thoughts.</p><p>The doe leapt around the room, looking almost corporeal. Then, it vanished. She gasped. She closed her eyes once more and concentrated until the song played more loudly in her head. It returned and she used it to send a message to James.</p><p>"We need to talk. Meet me in Diagon Alley by Flourish and Blot's in thirty minutes. Let me know if you can't."</p><p>Lily looked down at the palm of her wand hand: bright, red blood in the shape of her fingernails appeared.</p><hr/><p>Lily's fingers skimmed the spines of the dusty books. She was a few minutes early meeting James.</p><p>"All right, Evans?" James's voice was behind her.</p><p>"Hi, Potter." She said, not looking up from studying a small, leather bound book.</p><p>"So, what did you need to talk about?"</p><p>"Not here. Too quiet. Come on." She took his hand without thinking. She regretted it as his hazel eyes gazed into hers when she finally looked up.</p><p>
  <em>Have his eyes always been that lovely? Bloody hell.</em>
</p><p>Once they were outside, she dropped his hand. She still led the way to a small, black metal table with two chairs outside of Quality Quidditch Supplies.</p><p>"So, I wanted to talk about what happened last night after I left. To recap, I was wicked drunk obviously. You and Sirius disappeared as soon as you arrived," She paused, remembering her escapades. "Dan offered me his spare bedroom—"</p><p>"Wait, you went home with Weaver?" He interrupted.</p><p>"No, no, of course not! Well, I mean technically yes. But I didn't you know, like sleep with him."</p><p>"You seem frazzled, Evans."</p><p>"I just mean that's what happened after you two disappeared. I was very inebriated, and he offered me a safe way home. Can't afford to be splinching myself, can I?" Lily responded. Her patience was wearing thin. "Let me finish. I went to his flat and he was going to let me stay in his spare bedroom for the night. But I heard people talking, specifically the voice of Severus at Dan's flat. His cousin Donovan is his flatmate." Lily finished quietly. She studied the people around them to make sure no one was listening.</p><p>"What's he doing with Dan?" James asked thoughtfully.</p><p>"That's what I wondered. I suspect he's not really associated with Dan. I heard Snape threaten Dan's cousin."</p><p>Lily recounted the complete conversation she overheard to James.</p><p>"Dan thought I was asleep. He didn't tell anyone else that I was there. I genuinely don't think he means to involve me… But there's one other thing: I heard him mention you and Black."</p><p>"I thought that was odd. Sirius and I are purebloods who have no known associations with Death Eaters or people who are Death Eater friendly. I thought our loyalties to Dumbledore were clear. Guess not."</p><p>Lily nodded and thought about the things he had said.</p><p>If Dan was threatened by her, he would have definitely brought her up. She thought back to their first meeting. He never asked about her bloodline and she just assumed he already knew. Now, she was thinking perhaps Dan didn't even care.</p><p>"I'm not sure if you were already planning on coming tonight, but I think it's important that you do. Thanks for telling me all this."</p><p>"Yeah, I'm glad we were on the same page before this happened. I still can't help but trust Dan. I don't think he wishes me harm." Lily spoke without thinking.</p><p>"Are you serious? He's friendly with Death Eaters." James looked hot with rage. He could not understand why she couldn't see that she was making the same mistakes.</p><p>"I know, but that doesn't make him a Death Eater." She conceded, but she avoided his angry glare pointedly. "I'll see you tonight, Potter."</p><p>They went their own separate ways without another word.</p><hr/><p>Later that day, when Marlene came home that afternoon, she found Lily trying to set a piece of paper on fire with no success.</p><p>"Hey, Lily what are you doing?"</p><p>"I'm just testing a theory. My spells are really weak. When I cast a Patronus this morning, it disappeared right after I casted it. Look at this." Lily picked up a cup from the coffee table.</p><p>"<em>Aguamenti</em>," She pointed her wand at the cup in her hand. A weak fizzle of water spat from her wand. "See? Something is going on."</p><p>"Hmm, maybe you're just tired?"</p><p>"No, I feel okay. I don't know."</p><p>"I'm not sure, Lily. Maybe you can ask someone you trust about that tonight. Plenty of talent 'round the Order."</p><p>"I meant to ask you about that, where is the meeting place?"</p><p>"Oh, that's going to be at the Prewett house. Fabian and Gideon's place."</p><p>Lily had never been there before, but she remembered the Prewetts from her early years at Hogwarts. They were several years older than Lily and Marlene.</p><p>Later that night, Marlene and Lily made their way to the Prewett house. They apparated a block away and walked quietly down a wet road. Enormous trees with purple flowers lined the road and left a trail of purple flowers on the ground. When they reached the large, green house, they knocked quickly.</p><p>"Password?" A rough voice asked.</p><p>"Licorice wand." Marlene said quietly.</p><p>"Please come in." The door swung open to reveal Fabian Prewett smiling down at them. He gestured to empty chairs in a large group of maybe twelve witches and wizards, sitting talking quietly.</p><p>"Girls, over here!" Emmeline sat with a few others, sipping tea.</p><p>"Hi, Em!"</p><p>"We're early, I guess. I'm going to grab something to drink." Lily said.</p><p>Lily went to grab a cup of coffee when she saw Remus standing in the corner.</p><p>"Hey, long time no see." Lily smiled.</p><p>"Hi, Lily." He replied, looking at her with gloomy eyes.</p><p>"You're looking pretty glum."</p><p>"Yeah, these meetings really stress me out."</p><p>"I can understand that."</p><p>"I heard you're our best spy. James told us what you stumbled on."</p><p>"Just overhead the right conversation." She looked around slowly. The Marauders were not here. It was just Remus. "Where are your friends?"</p><p>"They're coming. They had plans for supper at Peter's mum house, so they probably lost track of time."</p><p>"You didn't go?"</p><p>"Peter's mum… can be kind of rude to me."</p><p>"I see." Lily replied sadly. It wasn't fair for Remus to face discrimination for something he had no control over. She could really relate to his struggles. She guessed that Remus was probably standing in the corner away from everyone else for this reason.</p><p>"Remus, you're brilliant at Defense." Lily suddenly realized.</p><p>"Why, thank you Lily. You're brilliant at Charms." He replied smartly.</p><p>"No, no I brought it up because I need your help."</p><p>"You need my help?" Remus asked incredulously.</p><p>"Yes, I noticed this morning that my magic seems a lot weaker, but I don't know why. Look at this." Lily demonstrated the same water spell from earlier. "If I'm going to be running into Death Eaters, I need some training. Do you think you could help me?"</p><p>"That's certainly peculiar," Remus studied her quietly. This was not the girl he knew just two years ago. The Lily Evans he knew at Hogwarts never had problems with her spells, save for Transfiguration. Her face was exactly as Sirius described it. Lonely, haunting, and her eyes were different as well; darker, now. He wanted to help her. "Let's talk about it after the meeting."</p><p>Lily was shocked that Dumbledore actually led the meeting that night. He beamed when he saw her sitting among her peers.</p><p>"Good evening to you all. We have many updates tonight," Dumbledore began softly. "I would urge you all to exercise caution. There are many alarming trends the Ministry has not spoken on. Dearborn has an update for us."</p><p>Caradoc Dearborn, a wizard aged about thirty-five, started talking to the group regarding Giants being recruited for Dark Forces. Lily was listening intently until he started speaking in Troll. She had to fight the urge to sleep.</p><p>"What happened, Head Girl? Surprised you're not taking color-coded notes?" James's voice was suddenly on her neck. She felt chills run down her spine.</p><p>"Bugger off." She said, barely turning her head an inch. He was sniggering with Black when she heard Dumbledore say his name.</p><p>"Mr. Potter, I believe it's time you update us on the situation with the Muggle restaurant, Martinelli's." Dumbledore said. James had the decency to look embarrassed. He stood and walked to stand next to Dumbledore at the head of the room.</p><p>"So, as you all know, I've been working at the Muggle restaurant, Martinelli's for a few months now. We all also know that the Death Eater Avery is connected to that restaurant through his cousin, Dan Weaver. Lily Evans has some information for us. Lily?"</p><p>Lily stood, cleared her throat, and started speaking.</p><p>"Er, hi everyone. I'm Lily," She started awkwardly. There was only silence. "Right, so erm, I went to Weaver's flat Saturday night. He thought I was asleep in the guest room when I heard, three male voices discussing Potter and Black, possibly regarding their loyalties. Dan was telling them about what happened when we went out to the Muggle bar, The Red Room that night. Severus Snape was there; I recognized his voice. They specifically mentioned the Dark Lord. He said if Avery didn't come through 'next time', then the Dark Lord would…erm, murder him." Lily finished seriously. There was whispering among the group.</p><p>"How did you get away from them? Does Weaver know that you heard?" Fabian Prewett asked.</p><p>"No, I escaped through the window of the guest room. Nobody went after me, but I'm not sure if they saw or heard me."</p><p>"Escaped?"</p><p>"Crawled out of the window."</p><p>Fabian snorted at her response.</p><p>"It seems as if Weaver may not care or know about your blood status. I must implore you to gain more his trust and figure out what kind of operation his cousin is running. James will be there to help, obviously." Dumbledore said somberly.</p><p>Lily and James nodded in understanding.</p><p>"I don't think Dan cares about that kind of thing. I know his mum is Muggle-born." Marlene added.</p><p>"Voldemort's father was a muggle." James said flatly. Marlene's face fell.</p><p>They soon moved on to other more trivial orders of business. Lily sat chewing on lip trying to sort her thoughts about Dan, his cousin, and Severus Snape.</p><p>
  <em>What could they be working on? Why didn't Avery deliver?</em>
</p><p>Remus went up to her first, as soon as the meeting ended.</p><p>"Hey, so are you doing anything tomorrow?"</p><p>"No, I'm totally free. Why not tonight?" Then she yawned.</p><p>"It's best if you get some sleep."</p><p>Lily nodded, looking down at her watch. The meeting ran for almost two hours.</p><p>"How does tomorrow morning at ten sound? Is that too short notice?"</p><p>"No, that's completely fine."</p><p>"Meet me at Marlene's?" Lily asked.</p><p>"Perfect. See you then."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you all are enjoying so far. Thanks again for your support :))))</p><p>I updated, Monday, today, and so you can all expect a new chapter tentatively on Saturday! As I mentioned before, I live in California so PST. I think after this week I may space out my updates a bit more.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Child's Play</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>James Potter's room had changed a great deal over the years.</p><p>He spent most of his early adolescence trying to find posters of the greatest Quidditch players in the world. He lined his walls with their posters and decorated his room in maroon and gold. Every summer, without fail, James begged his parents to take him to Quidditch matches all over the world. They indulged their only child quite frequently, but there were many times when the aging Fleamont and Euphemia Potter struggled to keep up with their lively son and his friends.</p><p>As James grew older, his relationship with Quidditch changed. It was no longer the thing that solely occupied his thoughts. Especially in his seventh year, he thought more seriously about his plans for after Hogwarts. Quidditch became less of his primary focus. It became a solace to turn to it whenever he was feeling defeated. As a member of the Order of the Phoenix, he was no stranger to that emotion.</p><p>Early the next morning, James sat in his room reading when he heard a soft knocking at his door.</p><p>"Come in," James called. He dog-eared the page and quickly shut the book when he saw their family house-elf, Roony, come in. She was rather old and very small, with enormous ears and ash-brown, doe-like eyes. Roony had been in the Potter family for decades, long before James was born.</p><p>"Master Potter requests your presence for breakfast this morning. Please come immediately," said Roony with a bow.</p><p>"I'll be right there," James quickly changed out his ratty nightshirt into something a bit more decent before walking downstairs to the dining room and saw his father sitting at the table alone reading the newspaper.</p><p>Fleamont and James looked strikingly similar. The elder Potter was slightly shorter than his son at 5 feet, ten inches with a gray head of hair, but the same round glasses. James took a seat at the mahogany table and Roony placed a large plate of breakfast in front of him.</p><p>"G' morning. Thank you, Roons. Can I please have a cup of coffee?"</p><p>Roony nodded quickly and with a snap of her fingers, a steaming cup of coffee appeared on the table. She scurried back to the kitchen in silence. James looked at his father expectantly.</p><p>"Your mother wanted to talk to you about something. Do you work today?"</p><p>"Yes, but I don't have to be there until the afternoon," James responded with a mouthful of eggs.</p><p>"She spoke with Augusta Longbottom yesterday. Apparently, Alice and Frank are throwing an engagement party," answered Fleamont.</p><p>"Yeah, Frank told me. Great to hear."</p><p>"Yes, it is nice to hear of love in the midst of all of this… woe," said Fleamont, eyeing the newspaper as he said this. "I hope you'll be on your best behavior and won't embarrass us. You're not a boy anymore. Your mother wanted me to ask you if you are planning on taking a date?"</p><p>James groaned. This is what his father had been leading up to. Euphemia had been pushing him to get married and have children since he graduated from Hogwarts.</p><p>"I'm not a boy anymore, but my mum is still pressing me about that? I thought it was more of a suggestion and not an actual order. I haven't asked anyone and its a bit short notice."</p><p>"It was a suggestion. But your mother doesn't see it that way. She'll be distraught if you go alone," Fleamont responded.</p><p>"Speaking of, where is Mum?" James asked, trying to change the subject.</p><p>"I'm not sure, she left rather early this morning. Maybe she's getting you new dress robes for Friday," Fleamont said rather seriously.</p><p>"New dress robes? Now you're taking the piss. Frank told me it was a quiet affair."</p><p>His father looked back at him dubiously.</p><p>"I'm only teasing; she's in the garden. But, there's no such thing as a quiet affair when Augusta is involved. In all fairness, Frank and Alice probably think it is a quiet affair." Fleamont replied after a beat, eliciting another groan from James.</p><p>James had absolutely no desire to spend the entire night entertaining a girl he did not know intimately well. There was only one witch he knew well enough who he would like to ask.</p><p>The familiar rumbling of a motorcycle coming from outside interrupted his thought. Roony opened the front door and Sirius Black strode into the dining room.</p><p>"Hello Potters. How are we this fine morning?"</p><p>"We're doing well, Sirius. I was just talking to James about his date for the Longbottom's engagement party. He doesn't have one. Please tell me you've found a nice, attractive witch to accompany you."</p><p>"Oh, Fleamont, you're cheeky. I'm going with Prongs, of course! And Moony and Wormy."</p><p>"For the love of Merlin! Well I tried to warn you, James. Make sure you talk to her before you leave for the day," Fleamont grumbled, holding his now-empty plate and getting up from his chair.</p><p>"So, you're really not taking anyone?" James asked, once his father was out of earshot.</p><p>"Absolutely not," replied Sirius.</p><p>"So, what are you doing here? I have to be at work in a few hours."</p><p>"I'm just bored, wanted to see if you were up to anything."</p><p>"Just breakfast and Dad giving me shit for not carrying on the bloodline."</p><p>"So, it's been a nice, normal morning. Surprised he and your mum haven't given up hope," said Sirius with a laugh. James rolled his eyes as he cleared the table and headed to the garden with Sirius.</p><p>"Mum! Dad said you wanted to berate me for not giving you grandchildren at my ripe old age of nineteen?"</p><p>"Oh, James, you are so dramatic," Euphemia stood in front of a large tree, wearing her tatty gardening clothes. She took off her dirt-covered gloves and put her hands on her hips. "We just want you to be happy. Your father and I aren't exactly youthful." James sighed. She always guilt tripped him about their advanced age.</p><p>"Mum, I have a brilliant idea. Two words: arranged marriage," said Sirius.</p><p>"Sirius, I would not consider that…until age 21."</p><p>"So, he's got two years!" Sirius laughed turning to James, "You've got two whole years, mate!"</p><p>Euphemia winked at Sirius, who let out another bark of laughter.</p><p>"Anyway, Mum, I don't see the issue. It's just an engagement party," said James, shooting Sirius a contemptuous look.</p><p>"James, the Longbottoms are part of the Sacred Twenty-Eight. There's nothing casual about this. It's the first party of many associated with the wedding. Who you bring as your date matters."</p><p>"Well, there's no one I'd like to take, so can we just leave it at that?"</p><p>"Okay, James. Just know you would make your mother very happy if you found a nice witch to take," Euphemia sighed and returned to gardening without another word.</p><p>Sirius and James decided to head up to James's room.</p><p>"Only girl I wish I could take is Molly. But there are a number of obstacles. Namely, the fact that she's a Muggle. I swear, Prongs, it would've been great for me if you worked in a Magical restaurant instead."</p><p>"Oh, I'm sorry, Padfoot. I should think of you next time. 'Hi, Frank, I can't work here any longer. I need to help my mate pull a bird since he can't do it on his own.'" James mocked.</p><p>"Would you like to talk about pulling birds? When's the last time you had a shag, Potter? Bit of a dry spell, innit?"</p><p>"Whatever, Padfoot."</p><p>Marlene McKinnon was a very organized witch. She liked things to be arranged just so and had a great deal of internal organization. She enjoyed waking up early (unless she was hungover). Waking up early reminded her of her maternal grandmother, Edith Reynolds.</p><p>They spent their summers together while her parents were working. In her early teenaged years, her grandmother cared for her. As the years passed, it became apparent to Marlene that it was her turn to care for her ailing grandmother. She was inconsolable in her sixth year when her grandmother passed away.</p><p>Lately, Marlene's life had become more and more chaotic. She felt overwhelmed with everything she had been juggling as a nineteen-year-old girl working for both the Ministry and the Order. Today was her first day off in a long time and she had been looking forward to just relaxing at home.</p><p>She would have never looked at her calendar that day. But, she thought of her grandmother that morning who often told her "Fail to prepare, prepare to fail." The clichéd old maxim helped her more often than not.</p><p>It was Wednesday, the fourth of July. She looked at her schedule for the rest of the week. It was blank, except for Friday, which read "Frank and Alice party."</p><p>"'Frank and Alice party?' What does that mean?" Marlene wondered aloud. "Shit!"</p><p>"Lily!" She called when she got to her room and knocked. It was still a little early, barely eight in the morning.</p><p>"Come in," She heard Lily grumble and entered her room. "Why are you up so early on your day off?"</p><p>"Daylight is burning. Do you work Friday?"</p><p>"Let me check. What's Friday?" Lily reached into her purse hanging on the bed frame for her schedule.</p><p>"I completely forgot to tell you. That day that I went to see Alice, she invited us to her engagement party and it's Friday night."</p><p>"Shit, I can't believe they're having a party. I work tomorrow night and Friday afternoon, but I'm scheduled early. I'll be done by five."</p><p>"Hmm okay, that's manageable. And you have today off again?" Marlene asked. Lily nodded. "Okay, I do too. I know I shouldn't, but I want a new dress."</p><p>"Remus is coming over in about an hour or so. Maybe we can go shopping after?" Lily asked.</p><p>Lily felt thankful that she had found a job quickly. She had only worked one day so far, but the money she had saved was more than enough for some new clothing. She didn't remember the last time she bought new clothes.</p><p>"Yeah, that sounds fun." Marlene responded.</p><p>"Also, I meant to ask your opinion. My car has just been sitting here since I got here. I could justify keeping it while in Cokeworth, but now I can apparate, floo, or even use a broom. I'm thinking about selling it."</p><p>"Yeah that sounds like a good idea," Marlene shrugged. "Don't worry about Friday though. We could always go 'round my parents' house for a dress."</p><p>"Where's the party?"</p><p>"The Longbottom estate: Frank's mum's house."</p><p>Lily suddenly felt nervous at the thought of going to such a party.</p><p>"She is a little much, but Mrs. Longbottom means well. I think she's brill. She practically raised Frank on her own." Marlene said encouragingly.</p><p>Lily's nerves got the best of her. She decided to tidy up her room to calm down before Remus's arrival, unsure of where they were going to practice. She certainly didn't want Remus to see her knickers laying around in the event that he did see her room.</p><p>Around ten, Marlene and Lily were on their second cup of coffee when they heard a knock on the door. Marlene went to get the door and let Remus in.</p><p>Remus looked a bit peaky compared to the night before, but good-looking as ever. As prefect, Remus spent a great deal of time with Lily beginning in their fifth year. This coincided with Lily and Marlene becoming closer as friends.</p><p>Marlene and Lily were quite fond of Remus and repeatedly asked him how he was friends with the likes of James Potter and Sirius Black during their time at Hogwarts. Once, Lily suspected close to the full moon, Remus shot back a comment under his breath about her friendship with Severus Snape. Lily pretended not to hear him and Remus never brought it up again.</p><p>"Hi, Remus." Marlene hugged Remus and walked him over to the kitchen.</p><p>"Have you ever been to my flat before?" Marlene asked, taking a seat.</p><p>"Ages ago, I think. All right, Lily?"</p><p>"All right, Remus. Did you have breakfast? Or did you want some coffee?"</p><p>"I'm alright, thank you. Is it okay if we work in the living room, Marlene? It looks like a good space; I think we'll just need to rearrange a few things."</p><p>"Totally fine, as long as you let me watch." Marlene walked out of the kitchen and grabbed a magazine from the coffee table. Remus levitated the same coffee table from the middle of the room slowly against the wall. Lily sat on the couch and waited while Remus shifted smaller furniture.</p><p>"I meant to ask you two last night, but it completely slipped my mind. Are you going to Alice's engagement party?"</p><p>"We are, that's what Marlene and I are worrying about. We don't have anything to wear."</p><p>"James made it seem quite cozy when he told me about it." Remus replied, glancing furtively at Lily. Lily felt his eyes on her and tried to hide the sour expression from her face.</p><p>She mentally kicked herself for not realizing that he would be invited as well. James and Frank played on the same Quidditch team at Hogwarts and their families were rather well acquainted.</p><p>"I've been to a Longbottom event before. Augusta knows how to throw a good party. Their lot loves dancing." Marlene interjected.</p><p>"Are you two bringing dates?" Remus asked.</p><p>"No, I don't think we are. Alice didn't mention that to us. Are you?" Lily replied.</p><p>"Frank told James we could bring one if we'd like to. I was thinking about asking Dorcas Meadowes." Remus admitted. Lily and Marlene couldn't help but squeal with excitement. Remus rarely dated and the few romances that he had tended to be rather short flings. They knew this too was a consequence of his lycanthropy.</p><p>"Oh, Remus, you have to ask her. That's so lovely; I didn't know you two were friendly."</p><p>"Yeah, we get on quite well. I was going to ask her today."</p><p>"You haven't asked her? It's in two bloody days! What are you waiting for?" Remus shrugged and promised to write to her immediately after he left Marlene's.</p><p>"You two really need an owl. How do you communicate with the outside world?" Remus asked. Lily pointed at the phone.</p><p>"Okay, but how many wizards even know how to use a telephone?"</p><p>"I'm shocked you actually knew what it was called, Remus!" Marlene said.</p><p>"Some of us passed Muggle Studies, Marlene," Remus laughed. "Okay, Lily. You said you were having trouble with your Patronus and what other spells?"</p><p>"Aguamenti, and Incendio." She attempted both of the spells with little success.</p><p>"Interesting; can you try Accio?"</p><p>"Accio apple!" Lily said with a flourish of her wand. The apple from the kitchen flew into her hand.</p><p>"Okay. And Orchideous?" Remus cast this spell and a large bouquet of red roses appeared.</p><p>"Orchideous." Lily repeated. A decidedly smaller bouquet of purple hyacinth flowers appeared in Lily's hand.</p><p>"Well, I don't think it's not your wand. All these spells seem to be working. Let's try your Patronus." Remus said, his brow furrowed in thought.</p><p>"Expecto Patronum!" Lily cried. A small, wispy silver light emerged from her wand and disappeared. Lily looked crestfallen.</p><p>"What memory are you using?" Remus asked.</p><p>"Erm, it's this memory dancing with my parents and Petunia," Lily replied with a soft smile. "We were in the sitting room. It was my nineteenth birthday and my dad was playing my favorite record Fly Me to the Moon. I was dancing with my dad. Then Mum started dancing with Petunia." Lily began quietly humming the tune to Fly Me to the Moon. Marlene and Remus glanced at each other.</p><p>"Lily… I think I know what's going on," Marlene started. "It happened to my mum when Gran passed… Sometimes when a witch or wizard goes through a traumatic event, it can impair their ability to cast their Patronus, sometimes even their magic."</p><p>"She's right, Lily. It looks like it's impairing your ability to cast magic having to do with the elements. That's why it's harder for you to cast spells having to do with water, fire, earth, and air, I'm sure. It's nothing to be ashamed to about."</p><p>Lily almost laughed at their uncomfortable faces. Her smile froze on her face when she realized what they were implying.</p><p>"Maybe I can just try a different memory." She closed her eyes and tried to cast her Patronus again. Nothing happened.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Lily." Remus shook his head glumly.</p><p>"I need some air." Lily said, suddenly feeling the room spin. It was hard to breathe. She walked out the apartment and held onto the railing overlooking the courtyard. There were a few people mingling around, giving her strange looks. She closed her eyes once more and took a deep breath.</p><p>You can do this.</p><p>Lily walked back inside the flat, her face ashen. She quickly plastered a smile on her face.</p><p>"Sorry, it's just… I've never heard of that. It's embarrassing."</p><p>"It's nothing to be embarrassed about, Lily. It doesn't make you any less of a witch. It doesn't make you weak or anything." Marlene responded soothingly. Lily nodded and exhaled a breath she didn't realize she had been holding.</p><p>"Thanks, guys. I really do appreciate your help, Remus." Lily said, looking up at him.</p><p>"Anytime, Lily. I'm going to get out of your hair. I'll see you two Friday night." He wanted to say more, but only reached over and squeezed Lily's shoulder before disappearing out the door.</p><p>"Do you want to talk about it? I'm always here to listen," asked Marlene.</p><p>"Soon. I promise." Lily smiled, and this time it was genuine. They stayed quiet for a long time in comfortable silence.</p><p>"Okay. I'm holding you to that. Do you want to go to Gladrags?"</p><p>"Absolutely."</p><p>At the dress shop, Lily couldn't focus on any of the dresses. She wasn't interested in anything that the charming salespeople put in front of her. It was beginning to drive her mad. She knew getting ready with her best mate and looking fancy would make her feel infinitely better, but had no luck finding anything she liked.</p><p>"What do you think?" Marlene stepped out of a dressing room wearing lavender, one-shoulder dress. The lavender accentuated Marlene's cool-toned tawny skin. She held her long, curly black hair up as she posed for Lily.</p><p>"Wow, you look amazing. That's definitely it." All of Lily's worries from ebbed away. Marlene finding her perfect dress made Lily excited at the infinite possibilities.</p><p>Suddenly, Lily spotted a black, body-con dress in the empty dressing room next to Marlene's. She reached for it and felt the soft, silky material. Lily closed the door and immediately tried it on once she noticed it was in her size.</p><p>Lily's skin was much more fair and warm-toned compared to Marlene's. Her dark red hair frustrated her before she learned to work with it as she grew older. The black made her look elegant and polished.</p><p>Lily stepped out of the room to pose in front of the mirror.</p><p>"Absolutely, you look so splendid."</p><p>"Why, thank you Mar," Lily quickly got unchanged and went to get rung up.</p><p>"Lily, I don't say this enough, but I missed you a bloody lot." Marlene said, wrapping her arms around the tall girl.</p><p>"I missed you too, Mar." Lily said, grinning.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Say It</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lily spent her Thursday evening walking around like a zombie. She stayed up tossing and turning the night before. Once at work, Lily heard Dan was scheduled to work Friday when she eavesdropped on Thomas's conversation with a nameless manager. She had initially decided that she did not need her wand on her person, but then she worried someone could open her locker at any moment. She stowed it safely in her apron.</p><p>"Hi Lily," Melody appeared next to her a minute later, wearing a salmon colored work top. Lily looked up at her and thought that she would never tire of seeing Melody's two-toned eyes. She sat on the bench of the locker room as Lily finished tying her black non-slip kitchen shoes. "How are you? You don't look as cheerful today."</p><p>"I'm just exhausted. I got no sleep last night," replied Lily dejectedly, surprised that Melody actually cared enough to comment.</p><p>"Did you want a little pick-me-up?" asked Melody mischievously. Lily looked around and saw only Thomas watching the pair. She nodded quickly as though she was afraid that Melody would change her mind.</p><p>Melody reached into her apron and split a small, pale blue pill in half with her fingernail. She reached forward and slowly held it up to Lily's mouth. Lily opened and Melody placed half in her mouth and the other half in her own. It was strangely sensual.</p><p>"Just wait. Relax. And you'll good in about thirty minutes," said Melody, looking down at her watch. "By the way, a little birdie told me you went home with Dan that other night," added Melody, looking up to gauge her reaction.</p><p>"I did, but it's really not what you think," replied Lily.</p><p>"I see, but would that really be the worst thing in the world? Dan gives great head," snorted Melody.</p><p>"What?" asked Lily, dumbfounded.</p><p>"Oh god, Lily. Head is oral sex," Melody chuckled.</p><p>"No, no I know. I was just kind of surprised. So, everyone does get around as much I've heard, then?"</p><p>"Oh, don't worry your pretty little head about it. I'm sure he fancies you as much you fancy him," replied Melody derisively. Lily suddenly wondered if it really appeared that way.</p><p>After a second, she disappeared behind the double doors out onto the main floor. Lily decided to follow and looked around for her but sulked when she realized Melody was nowhere to be found.</p><p>"If you're looking for Dan, he won't be in until tomorrow," said a familiar voice from beside her. She turned to see James, who snuck up next to her. He wore the same black button up that all the bartenders wore. It fit him spectacularly. Lily didn't hear his footsteps approach but wasn't surprised to see him.</p><p>"Yeah, I heard Thomas talking with erm… I'm not sure what their name was. I was looking for Melody, is all," she grinned before she noticed that she was staring at his well-developed shoulders. She cleared her throat and looked away.</p><p>"Oh, you mean Trouble. I saw her go upstairs," he replied.</p><p>"Trouble? I thought you called her Mel-Mel," she retorted smartly.</p><p>"We don't call her that to her face. But she's called that because that girl is trouble, Evans," said James. "She's not your friend," he said.</p><p>"What makes you say that?</p><p>"Because," he insisted. "You might think she's looking out for you, but Melody is only looking out for Melody.</p><p>"At least she hasn't lied to me," she retorted. Lily decided she was sick of his holier-than-thou attitude. He looked bewildered.</p><p><em>Okay, it's clear we aren't talking about Melody anymore. Let's just have this out, yeah?</em> James wanted to say it so badly.</p><p>"That's what you think," was what he said instead.</p><p>She could only stare back blankly. He waited for her angry retort, but it never came. She marched away to look for Tess.</p><p>"New Girl, you're trailing me today," said Thomas when Lily reached the servers' corner on the floor, next to a small sink with empty water pitchers lined neatly. He jerked his head towards the sink and Lily stared back at him blankly. "Water, then follow me," barked Thomas. Lily rushed to get a pitcher ready in response.</p><p>"So, where did you say you were from, New Girl?" asked Thomas, once they began to make their way to his section for the day.</p><p>"Erm, I don't believe I did," replied Lily. "But I'm from the Midlands. Small mill town."</p><p>"Interesting. Did you move here for a boy?"</p><p>"Nope."</p><p>"You want to be an actress?"</p><p>"Definitely not."</p><p>"Hmm, well then I hope this place doesn't chew you up and spit you out," said Thomas, who stopped walking to turn and look at her.</p><p>Lily stood still for a minute taking in his comment before realizing he had started walking again. She hustled to keep up with him.</p><p>Lily beamed at a couple as they approached and refilled their waters. Thomas quickly took their orders and they approached two other groups who needed service. Lily was surprised to find out that she actually enjoyed working with Thomas.</p><p>He was energetic, charismatic, and had a lively personality. Everyone laughed at his jokes, except for Paul. Thomas took the time to explain things to Lily that she did not remember Dan doing on her first day. Maybe Dan did explain, she thought, but she was too nervous to notice.</p><p>Thomas showed her where the bar mops were hidden, how to correctly fold the napkins, and polish the silverware correctly. She spent the better part of an hour ensuring that her folded napkins were flawless.</p><p>After her dinner break, she followed Molly for the rest of the night. She tried to be as pleasant as possible since Molly had no idea James and Lily were already acquainted. By the end of the night, she was uncertain if they were actually dating.</p><p>Molly was the most high-ranking server; she was eleven years Lily's senior. She was both witty and knowledgeable about everything the guests chattered about. She had an interesting bit of information about wine, various museums in Europe, Paris fashion week, and almost every single subject that was brought up.</p><p>Lily suddenly felt very out of place. Since being at Hogwarts, she failed to keep up with Muggle current events, preferring <em>The</em> <em>Daily Prophet</em> to any muggle newspaper or magazine. Even when she was in Cokeworth, she didn't watch the telly with her father.</p><p>Lily couldn't deny that James a very talented wizard. They spent seven years competing at Hogwarts and he came out on top quite frequently. But when it concerned the Muggle world, James was just plain incompetent.</p><p>
  <em>What is a girl like that doing dating a wizard disguised as an ordinary bartender?</em>
</p><p>When her shift ended, Lily realized she was quite sad that her time with Molly was over. She yearned to learn more about her. Molly was glamorous and had traveled a great deal in her twenties. Lily spent the rest of her evening drinking wine with Marlene and yammering on about Molly and her sophistication.</p>
<hr/><p>Friday came sooner than Lily anticipated. The first part of her shift passed quickly. Lily initially saw Dan when she was getting dressed. She thought perhaps he didn't notice her, but he waved hello to her as she left the locker room. Lily smiled back at him before disappearing through the swinging doors.</p><p>On this particular day, Lily started her shift trailing a girl named Heather. She wore a stylish black bob and large doe-like brown eyes. Heather said she was a few years older than Lily.</p><p>"So, Lily, is it?" asked Heather as they walked downstairs to the wine cellar. Lily nodded silently and Heather continued, "I have a cousin named Lily. She's marvelous, of course. Mum never lets me forget that she went to Oxford. Where do you go to school?"</p><p>"Erm, well I don't."</p><p>"Oh, okay you just work here. You just seemed like you were in uni or something," replied Heather flippantly.</p><p>"Nope, I'm not in uni," Lily repeated.</p><p>"That's alright. I've worked here almost a year, but really, I've been trying to make it as a columnist. One day you'll see my byline in <em>The Times</em>," said Heather dreamily. Lily determined that she did not much care for Heather's tone. She was very awkward in conversation but was a decent server. Lily came to realize that Heather did not mean to be offensive earlier by asking about her schooling.</p><p>Several hours passed and Lily was in the locker room again, rushing out of her smock and into her plainclothes. She saw Melody chatting nearby with Cassie when she followed Lily to her locker.</p><p>"Hi, Lily, are you heading out too? I'll walk with you," said Melody. The two girls changed in silence. Lily grabbed her things and waited to Melody to turn around before sticking her wand in her back pocket.</p><p>"By the way, what did you mean yesterday? You said, 'everyone got around'. Who have you been talking to?" asked Melody as they strode out the back exit.</p><p>"Well, I was talking to Cassie—" started Lily.</p><p>"First of all, big mistake, huge. Cassie's such a… whatever. Second, what did she tell you? I swear that bitch loves to stir shit up," replied Melody, adjusting her backpack strap.</p><p>"How did you know? Is it true that Pot- I mean, James is seeing Molly?" Lily asked, feigning disinterest. Melody cackled with laughter.</p><p>"No," Melody wheezed. "Fucking 'ell. Cassie probably just wanted to fuck with you. He doesn't talk to any of us," she finished.</p><p>"Bugger." She regretted not just asking James, but she felt too proud to be prodding into his personal life after her own disappearing act. Instead, she assumed that he lied and made herself look like an absolute fool.</p><p>"Don't worry about it. It's like her version of a prank. She did it to me too."</p><p>Lily only chuckled in response. Strangely, she felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She walked more casually down the alley now. She stopped and looked down at Melody's shiny black combat boots when she realized had a question.</p><p>"So, what did you give me yesterday? The blue pill?" asked Lily. Melody stopped walking as well.</p><p>"You know, Lily, it's not safe to just take drugs that strangers offer you without asking what it is," said Melody seriously. Lily stayed silent and waited for her to continue, "It was Ritalin, to help you stay awake and make you focus. Did you find yourself becoming very observant, perhaps?" asked Melody. Lily nodded slowly, thinking back to the detail she placed into folding napkins.</p><p>"We're going to The Trophy Room tonight," continued Melody, beginning to walk again and Lily followed suit. "It's a lounge in Soho, did you want to come? You can meet me at my flat."</p><p>"No thank you, erm, I have plans tonight. My friend's engagement party."</p><p>"Oh wicked." There was a pregnant pause. "Did you want some party favors?"</p><p>Lily mulled it over. Marlene didn't seem too cross at the actual drug use last time around. She seemed more upset that Lily was partaking in it with strangers. If Marlene didn't want to, she'd just get rid of them. Lily nodded and Melody stopped to open her backpack and pulled out two small bottles of pills.</p><p>"Did you want these? They're the Quaaludes. And these are benzos. You may know it as Valium."</p><p>"I don't reckon I have ever heard of Quaaludes, though. That's why I picked coke the other night."</p><p>"Well, Lily, Quaaludes are a sedative. They are actually legal, and they can put you to sleep. But these days, they're referred to as disco biscuits; they're a hypnotic. If you fight the sleep, you can get a pretty good high."</p><p>She wasn't much interested in Valium. Lily thought back to Melody and Cassie dancing that night at the Red Room.</p><p>"How much?" Lily finally asked, pointing to the Quaaludes.</p><p>"Tell you what, I'll give you the family and friends discount. Eight quid for ten pills," said Melody with a wicked smile. Lily wondered Melody had any family. She never heard her mention any relatives or even mention a flatmate.</p><p>Lily shrugged and reached into her purse to hand over the money to Melody. She watched Melody count out ten pills into a tiny zip-lock bag and stuck it in her purse.</p><p>"Pleasure doing business with you," Melody said, pocketing the money quickly.</p><p>"Mel, how'd you get into all of this?" Lily asked. She realized this was the first time she used her nickname.</p><p>"How everyone does. When you're pulling a double because you need the money, you need a little pick-me-up. Soon, you learn that it's better to be slinging rather than the loser buying," Melody said unabashedly. "See you later, Lily."</p>
<hr/><p>When Lily finally got home, she found Marlene sitting at the dining table doing her make up in front of a circular mirror. She turned to Lily with one eye of makeup complete.</p><p>"What are you doing in here?" asked Lily.</p><p>"Better lighting. No chit-chat, Lily, go shower! Make haste!" Marlene said, throwing her hairbrush at the redhead.</p><p>"Oi, alright I'm going," She ran into the shower and charmed her hair dry when she was finished.</p><p>When she reemerged, Emmeline was in the sitting room chatting with Marlene.</p><p>"Hi, Emmeline, I wasn't sure you were coming tonight."</p><p>"Hi, Lily. I was told that I shouldn't let you get distracted," Emmeline greeted, casting an uneasy glance at Marlene.</p><p>"That's not fair, you lot are having your chat!"</p><p>"Lily, I've been getting ready since four. It's a quarter till six and you're still dripping wet!"</p><p>Emmeline cast a quick drying spell in Lily's direction and winked surreptitiously at her. Lily smirked before moving quietly to her room.</p><p>Lily went into her room and got dressed into something comfortable. Her hair, now completely dry, had soft curls in it. Lily used her wand to create bigger, loose curls. She reached for her hairspray and applied it generously. Using hair clips to pull her hair out of her face, she started on her makeup.</p><p>Emmeline entered her room and sat on her bed.</p><p>"It's a bit quiet in here, how do you turn this on?" Lily turned to see what she was talking about. Emmeline stared at her radio next to her bed.</p><p>"We do need some music," replied Lily and she stood to turn it on for Emmeline. Bouncy pop music emitted from the radio.</p><p>Marlene entered the room at one point to show off her completed look. After a few minutes, Emmeline snuck to the bathroom to freshen up her own makeup.</p><p>Lily took this opportunity to pull the Quaaludes from her purse.</p><p>"Look what I got from Melody."</p><p>"Merlin, Lily!" said Marlene, taking the bag and opening it. She held up a single white pill.</p><p>"It's just a little something for tonight. If you don't want to, we don't have to. I'll throw them away if you want. I thought it might be a laugh." Lily suddenly realized that the last thing she wanted was to throw the bag away.</p><p>"Well, you certainly learned to have fun, didn't you Lily? What do they do?" She put the pill back in its place.</p><p>"Mel told me that it's a sedative," Marlene raised her eyebrow at Lily, but remained silent and let her continue. "And she mentioned something about fighting the sleep and getting a kick ass high."</p><p>"Fuck it. But we scope out the scene first." Marlene shrugged, sticking the bag back in Lily's purse and Lily nodded in agreement.</p><p>Emmeline returned from the loo at that moment and the girls chattered while Lily finished getting ready.</p>
<hr/><p>The Longbottom residence was positively regal to Lily. She gazed in wonder and eventually came to the conclusion that the ballroom in which a majority of the guests were found was the size of her entire house back in Cokeworth. Marlene called it modest. To Emmeline, it was charming.</p><p>"Alice looks like a vision. I can't wait for the wedding. At this point, I'd just elope." Emmeline commented. Across the room, Alice did truly look radiant, Lily agreed silently.</p><p>Her pale pink dress paired with her short, blonde haircut made her look like an enchanting fairy. Frank towered over her and whispered something in her ear. Alice giggled back at him and waved to their group of friends.</p><p>Lily didn't know her old friend Alice was going to marry into such an old Wizarding family. It had been roughly a year and a half since she had seen Alice. Marlene reassured that Lily that many familiar faces would be there, and she would not be a stranger to many at all.</p><p>Marlene was right and Lily soon tired of greeting so people. A flurry of old acquaintances appeared before her in dizzying display. Her lines sounded rehearsed after perhaps thirty minutes of the same, boring process. Yes, she was back in London for good. No, she was not working at the Ministry. Yes, she did have a job. No, she did not wish to chat about her family. Yes, no, yes, no, no, yes, no. Then, without warning, a graying James Potter suddenly appeared in front of her.</p><p><em>Obviously</em>, she realized, <em>this is Fleamont Potter</em>.</p><p>"Marlene, my dear," he said, but beamed at the trio of girls. "It's been far too long since you've visited Potter Manor. Too busy at your Uncle Jack's department, eh?"</p><p>"Something like that. Hello Euphemia, lovely to see you two," said Marlene with a bright, charming smile.</p><p>"Marlene, Emmeline, how are you? I almost didn't recognize you," Mrs. Potter reached for Emmeline's hand and clasped it. She turned to Lily. "And you must be Lily. You girls look exquisite. The boys should be along soon," she said with a wink.</p><p>Euphemia's eyes caught Lily's and Euphemia stared at her for a bit too long. Lily suddenly felt naked, unsure of what James told his parents about her. The rich, smooth voice of Sirius Black disturbed her thoughts.</p><p>"Oh, Mum, don't tell me you're harassing these poor girls," said Sirius, appearing in front of them. "That's my job," he finished, and Euphemia swatted his arm affectionately.</p><p>"You must tell me if he's a bother," said Euphemia very seriously. "I can't do much, but it's better if I know."</p><p>"Will do, Mrs. Potter," Marlene smirked at Sirius, who held her gaze before dropping it at the sight of a small group approaching. James, Peter, Remus, and Dorcas joined their company. The trio exchanged a chorus of greetings before silence fell upon them once more. Lily beamed at Dorcas who smiled softly back.</p><p>"Hi, Lily! No idea you'd be here," said Dorcas.</p><p>"Yes, just moved back."</p><p>"Lovely to hear it. We all need to catch up soon," she smiled. "Remus, did you want to dance?" asked Dorcas, wasting no time with any more chit chat.</p><p>James's parents scrutinized the remaining teenagers. Euphemia cleared her throat loudly.</p><p>"McKinnon, dance with me." ordered Sirius and yanked her to the dance floor before she could protest.</p><p>"Lily, would you like to dance?" asked James. She nodded, but not before noticing Peter and Emmeline sharing uncomfortable looks. Lily winked at Emmeline, who resigned to dance with the remaining Marauder.</p><p>James led Lily to a corner of the dance floor where his mother could not watch them. He placed his hand in hers and took her waist gingerly with his other hand.</p><p>"You've been so helpful, regarding all of the Order stuff. I owe you an apology," said Lily after a minute of silence. They swayed softly to the music. He did not respond.</p><p>"I spoke with Cassie on my first day of work," Lily began. "Erm, she said you were dating Molly—" He opened his mouth to protest, but she continued, "I just thought it was strange you wouldn't tell me that you were dating our superior. And you just kept continuously lecturing me about trust. It was driving me bloody insane," she admitted. She could read the expression on his face.</p><p>"I figured out she was just fucking with me. So, I'm sorry about snapping at you Thursday. I don't reckon it's fair to act like we're fifteen again. We should just work on communicating if we're going to be working together," Lily finished.</p><p>"I can understand how not communicating would be upsetting," replied James shortly. Lily looked up at him, but he refused to meet her gaze. Their swaying was off beat.</p><p>"I don't understand. Do you accept my apology?" she asked skeptically.</p><p>"Come on, let's go outside." They stopped dancing and he pulled her outside. A few couples gave them concerned glances.</p><p>"Why?" asked Lily, startled by his sudden agitation. He waited until they were outside by a gorgeous pool. Lily gaped in awe of her surroundings before looking back down to James's fuming state.</p><p>"What?" Lily snapped.</p><p>"You're <em>jealous</em>. You're green with envy, but you can't admit it to yourself. At the thought of me dating some Muggle girl. And you're upset that I didn't <em>communicate</em>. But you just <em>disappeared</em>. Without bloody telling me! I thought we-," he was yelling now, but he broke off. Lily glanced around in horror to see if anyone had noticed. Nobody was looking in their direction. She had not had a proper row with James in three years.</p><p>"I had to-" she struggled for words, unsure of how to explain without setting him off. Still, he cut her off.</p><p>"You don't have to tell me. I already know. I'm a huge prick. That's why I had to make sure the first thing I told you was how s<em>orry</em> I was about your family. And I really am sorry. Fucking anyone with eyes can see that you're in pain. I know why you had to leave<em> now</em>. But you never told me then and it hurt me. Why can't you see that?" he asked. His voice quieted now. Lily had no other words. He asked legitimate questions.</p><p>"I don't know what you want me to say," she breathed and stared at a spot beyond James.</p><p>"That's fine. Don't say anything." He turned on his heel and left. She collapsed onto one of the loungers. She looked around for him, but he had already vanished.</p><p>Lily desperately needed to find Marlene. She felt as though all the wind had been knocked out of her. Lily slowly made her way inside and felt eyes on her. She looked up only to search for Marlene. Lily could not spot the short, dark-haired girl so she made her way upstairs.</p><p>Lily sipped a glass of mead contently offered to her by a passing waiter. Once upstairs, she opened the door to a room that turned out to be a study. It was dimly lit with two large overstuffed living chairs and an endless amount of books. Lily made to sit down when she saw a familiar face in one of the chairs.</p><p>"Mar!" said Lily, finding her alone.</p><p>"Lily! Are you alright? You look like a mess," asked Marlene. Lily motioned for Marlene to follow her into hallway again. They made their way to small lavatory and Lily opened her purse and took out two small pills.</p><p>"The chickens have finally come home to roost," Lily said very seriously.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I know you're dead serious, but I've no idea what that means."</p><p>Lily recounted her trouble with James and Marlene sighed deeply.</p><p>"Yeah, that one's been brewing for a while."</p><p>"I didn't know that," said Lily softly.</p><p>"Lily, I told you he liked you. I know you said you don't, but you've never been able to deny an attraction."</p><p><em>I want more than an attraction</em>, she thought.</p><p>"Whatever. I reckon it's time to bust out the 'ludes," said Lily.</p><p>"Let's do it," Marlene shrugged.</p><p>"Cheers," said Lily, handing Marlene her own. They swallowed them together.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Leave a review! I'm thinking I'll have another long chapter like this by this weekend. Thanks for reading xoxo</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Same Ol' Mistakes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi everyone! I'm back with a new chapter as promised. I rewrote this chapter completely about five (hundred) times before I was happy with the flow. It had to be perfect and it contains the long-awaited Lily-James banter. Enjoy and as always, please leave a review!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"No, start over, Lily. You keep going off track. Go," ordered Marlene.</p><p>"Potter—"</p><p>"No, you shouldn't call him by his last name. It comes off as hostile."</p><p>"I'm not hostile, Marlene."</p><p>"No, I meant you calling Potter comes off as hostile. I didn't say <em>you </em>were hostile."</p><p>"He calls me Evans. That's just like our thing," Lily retorted.</p><p>"Lily, trust me. Call him by his first name."</p><p>"James—"</p><p>"Promising start."</p><p>"Marlene. Please shut your hole. It's so hard to focus right now as it is."</p><p>The two girls found themselves once again inside the same bathroom from over an hour ago. They initially left in favor of dancing and mingling with their friends. Lily needed to further distract herself from her tiff with James, but she felt too at war with herself to enjoy her high. To calm her nerves, she decided to just find James and apologize.</p><p>"Right."</p><p>"James, I'm sorry if you felt hurt by what I did, but—"</p><p>"Aht, aht! Start over. <em>You</em> are in the wrong, Lily. He <em>was </em>hurt. There's no if, ands, or buts; he told you that he was upset about leaving and not telling him."</p><p>"Alright," Lily said. She took a deep breath and started over.</p><p>"James—" But she paused again. "Wait, why am I apologizing again? I think it's his turn to apologize. Women apologize too much, Mar. You know, 'sorry' is a learned reflex."</p><p>"Lily, I know. You've said that three bloody times. Then you feel badly again, and you practice what to say. Then you say that <em>again</em>," Marlene groaned, clearly tired of having this conversation with her best friend.</p><p>"Oh, shit really?" asked Lily.</p><p>"Yes, we've been in here for twenty minutes," Marlene said, massaging her temples before continuing. "Look, just go up to him and ask him if you can talk. And speak from the heart."</p><p>"That's excellent advice, Mar. I think I will do that." Lily opened the door to the bathroom and was stunned to find James Potter standing in the hallway.</p><p>"Lily," he said, unsurprised to see the girls in the bathroom. Lily silently wondered how long he had been standing outside.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Lily and James said in unison. Marlene tittered with laughter and hopped off the sink.</p><p>"I'll let you two have the room," she said and exited the lavatory.</p><p>"Erm, we don't have to talk in here," said James once she was gone.</p><p>"Yeah, I was hoping to pull you aside to talk. Let's go somewhere quiet." He nodded in agreement and motioned for her to follow him to the study. They sat next to each other in the leather chairs.</p><p>"James, I'm really sorry about everything. I should have told you that I was going back to Cokeworth and I'd appreciate it if you'd just let me explain," she said, before sighing. "It's just such a long story."</p><p>"I'm sorry as well. You shouldn't be apologizing right now. I'm sorry for snapping at you and I definitely should have told you that I was upset with you from the start," James conceded.</p><p>"Okay, just promise that you won't tell anyone about this. The only person I've told is Marlene," she exhaled.</p><p>"Of course."</p><p>"I'll start from the beginning. During our seventh year, my mum started writing me again."</p><p>"Yeah, I remember you mentioning that back then," he said. Lily silently wondered how he remembered something as trivial as that. She pressed on.</p><p>"Right, so she started writing me again in the fall. In those letters, she told me about her plans to move back to England after I was done with Hogwarts. She said that she was tired of her life in Spain. My mum said that although she would never get back together with my dad, she did want us to be more of a family again. I had no issue with that because I've long accepted that my parents weren't right for each other.</p><p>Eventually, that plan turned into her actually moving back home before graduation, not just England. Then, she begged me to come back home a little after graduation."</p><p>James nodded, unsure of where she was going with this. Lily took another deep breath.</p><p>"So, like I said, she wanted for us to be together. There were a few months of… well it was far from perfect, but I was <em>happy</em>. It was everything I ever wanted. Then sometime in February, things got… weird. That night, I woke up to her sick in the bathroom. We took her to the hospital and her doctors thought I knew that she was terminal. The day she returned to England was the day that they told her there was nothing they could do for her anymore," said Lily. James gaped at her, shocked at what he was hearing. She struggled to remain composed and fell quiet.</p><p>"Did your father and Petunia knew?" asked James. Lily nodded wordlessly. "And they didn't tell you?"</p><p>"Nope. I thought she honestly wanted to rekindle with me. About a month after that night, she was gone."</p><p>James was silent, but he put his hand on hers. Lily sighed deeply. She felt distressed at reliving her worst memory, but relieved to finally talk about it to James. He deserved to hear about all this.</p><p>"I couldn't stay in that fucking house anymore. I saved for quite a bit in order to leave," she admitted. James finally let go with a final squeeze of her hand. They sat in silence for a few minutes when Lily spoke again.</p><p>"I also want to say that I think you're right. For us to help the Order, we have to work together. For the common good," said Lily.</p><p>"I should have been more honest with you about how I felt. I just don't get why you wouldn't share something like that with me," replied James.</p><p>"It's not that simple," she replied.</p><p>"You told Marlene about it." Lily was silent at this. James sighed in frustration.</p><p><em>How can I get her to let her walls down? What if she afraid of? </em>After a second, James replaced his frown with a faint smile.</p><p>"I will say this though: don't ever listen to Cassie again," he said.</p><p>"It was my first day of work! You dated <em>so</em> many girls at Hogwarts. Why would I think anything had changed?" Lily too smiled back at him.</p><p>"I'd tell you if I was with someone, Lily. We've been kind of forced together <em>yet again</em>. It would be rude not to, given our past," said James.</p><p>"Okay, it's not like we have some long, twisted history. It was one bad date, Potter," she laughed, thinking back to their seventh year.</p><p>"I feel the need to add that you were plenty popular with the lads. And I didn't date <em>that </em>many girls," retorted James. Lily found herself staring at him for a second too long. She got up and cleared her throat.</p><p>"Well, Potter, I'm really glad we cleared the air."</p><p>"'James'."</p><p>"Yes, that is your name."</p><p>"No, I mean call me 'James'. You called me James at first, but you've gone back to calling me 'Potter'. Potter is so fifth year."</p><p><em>Damn, he had overheard their conversation</em>, Lily thought, fighting a smile.</p><p>"Okay, James."</p><hr/><p>"Hey, it's nice to see you," said Lily. Dan walked up next to Lily by the serving counter in the kitchen the next afternoon.</p><p>"Oh, hi Lily. It's nice to see you too. You disappeared on me last week," he replied breezily. His hair was combed as neatly as ever. If he was upset by their last encounter, he did not show it.</p><p>"Yeah, Marlene had an emergency, she sent me an owl," Lily lied, looking at him directly. "Sorry I didn't say anything,"</p><p>"I didn't see any owl that night," replied Dan.</p><p>"That's odd. Anyway, erm, Tess told I'm supposed to be trailing you today," said Lily, desperate to change the subject.</p><p>"That's right. It's sweltering today. We're going to be working this section today." Dan pointed to a small section near the bar. "Connall has this famous spiked lemonade recipe and hopefully we get a decent crowd in here today. My tips have been absolute shit lately," said Dan. Lily almost breathed a sigh of relief that he accepted her lie.</p><p>Most of the afternoon passed with pleasant exchanges between Lily and Dan. Lily found that she did prefer to work with someone more experienced like Thomas or Molly.</p><p>She was lying down on the bench in the locker room reading a book on one of her short breaks when she heard a door slam closed. A tall, dark haired man strode past her.</p><p>"Hullo, Lily," said the man. She looked up to find him standing just a few feet away from her at his locker. Lily quickly sat up.</p><p>"Oh, hi James. I didn't see you there," said Lily before laying back down to continue reading.</p><p>James opened his locker and quickly took off his shirt to change into his standard dark button-up. He threw on the black shirt and was buttoning up when James saw Lily peeking at him from behind her book. He couldn't help but smirk.</p><p>"Lily, did you know a picture would last longer? We could take a polaroid or two later."</p><p>"Bugger off," she replied, but he saw her blush.</p><p>Later, Lily stood chatting with the servers once again in their corner restocking the clean glasses when Tess approached her.</p><p>"Lily, Connall needs fresh ice. Can you get that for him?"</p><p>"Of course," she replied, and moved to head to the back. She returned a few minutes later with the tray of fresh ice. Lily was pleasantly surprised to see James now with Connall behind the bar.</p><p>"Thank you, Lily," said Connall as he prepared a drink. "That helps a lot unlike somebody I know," grumbled Connall, gesturing to James next to him.</p><p>"At least he's nice to look at," simpered an older woman, taking a sip of her martini.</p><p>Right then, James decided to flip a do a bar trick to impress his guests (but mostly Lily) at that moment. To James's delight, she did look slightly impressed. He looked up to see if she was still watching, when suddenly, there was a loud shattering sound. James turned beet red; he dropped a glass into the fresh ice Lily had just retrieved. Lily and half of the restaurant turned to stare at James.</p><p>"Seriously? Burn the ice. You'll have to get the ice this time," said Connall quietly. It was clear he was infuriated but didn't not want to cause any more of a scene. He turned to the guests in front of him. "We'll have glasses water for you folks, but the cocktails will be a minute since <em>someone</em> wanted to show off." Lily turned pink when she made eye contact with James and retreated to the kitchen to spare James any more embarrassment.</p><p>"What's all that noise out there?" asked Thomas, once she approached the counter.</p><p>"Erm, James dropped a glass in the ice."</p><p>"Ooh, that blows. Who are you trailing?" asked Thomas.</p><p>"Erm, nobody, just helped Connall a bit. I was with Dan earlier today."</p><p>"I've never seen James break a glass. Usually he's really coordinated," said Thomas. Lily just shrugged. "He's late all time, but he's a great bartender. He's made a shift drink a few times and they're always really great." Lily suddenly grew suspicious.</p><p>
  <em>Is he charming drinks to make them taste good?</em>
</p><p>"Okay, so I'm working the section thirty-two," he interrupted her train of thought and Lily wracked her head for that section.</p><p>"Er, that's the upper left, right?"</p><p>"Yes, it is," he replied, and Lily followed him up the stairs.</p><hr/><p>"Lily, what are you doing tonight?" asked Dan, a few hours later, at the end of her shift.</p><p>"Why do you ask?" she stammered. Lily turned to look at him, sitting in front of the restaurant. He walked down the street next to her.</p><p>"I was just wondering if you wanted to get a drink tonight."</p><p>"Yeah, that would be nice," she said. "Did you have anywhere specific in mind?"</p><p>"The Trophy Room," replied Dan. Lily hesitated before answering. She had heard Melody mention that bar before.</p><p>"That's a muggle bar, right?" she asked.</p><p>"It's not a muggle bar, it's in Knockturn Alley." Lily's eyes narrowed.</p><p>
  <em>Is Melody a witch?</em>
</p><p>"I've never been there before, what's the dress code? Also, is it okay if I invite Marlene?" asked Lily. She definitely shouldn't be going alone to Knockturn Alley.</p><p>"The more the merrier. And it's casual. You'll meet me there at eight, then?" asked Dan. Lily nodded in agreement.</p><hr/><p>"Mar!" Lily called as soon as she walked into the flat. It was quiet. Lily found her in her room. "Get dressed. You'll never guess what happened."</p><p>"What is it?"</p><p>"Dan invited us to go out for a drink. This could be our shot to finding out what Avery is up to."</p><p>"Us? Our shot?"</p><p>"Well, I asked if you could come."</p><p>"I don't think that's a good idea. Lily, this sounds really dangerous."</p><p>"Oh, don't be a wet mop. We outnumber him."</p><p>"What if Avery or Snape are there?"</p><p>Lily had not thought this through. How would Snape react to seeing them there? He would immediately out them as members of the Order.</p><p>"It's a risk we're going to have to take. He didn't mention anyone else."</p><hr/><p>Dan stood outside of the bar alone. The two girls approached, and he opened the door for them, and they sat at a large booth. Lily looked around and saw a small dingy sign on the door.</p><p><em>The Trophy Room</em> was written in small, cursive writing. A tiny symbol in the corner of the sign stood out to her. She squinted and saw that it was a tiny upside-down heart. Marlene and Dan were a few feet in front of her, waiting expectantly. She tore her eyes away and caught up with them.</p><p>Lily studied the people around her and felt relieved that she brought Marlene with her. There was a dark ambiance.</p><p>"So, how long have you worked at the restaurant? Do you actually like it there?" asked Lily.</p><p>"Just about a year, now. I do like it; it's definitely grown on me." Their surly waiter approached, and they ordered drinks.</p><p>"It's just really hard moving and finding people who you can trust. I feel like I can trust you, you know?" said Lily. It wasn't entirely a lie. Dan was very charming and never made her feel uncomfortable before now.</p><p>"Yeah, especially where in our line of work, people can be really…sneaky and you don't even know it."</p><p>"I know what you mean," muttered Lily in response, shooting a sly look at Marlene.</p><p>"Are you nervous for your review?" he asked. Lily looked back at him vacantly. "Performance review; after two weeks, Paul, Chef, and one other manager will do an oral and written exam. Usually it's the one who's worked with you the most," he explained.</p><p>"What?" demanded Lily.</p><p>"Did they not tell you? You're not considered hired until you pass that. At the end of two weeks, they'll either hire you or cut you."</p><p>Lily gulped. She didn't realize that her time at the restaurant could be over before it even properly started. Lily began to freak out about her assignment being over before she had even found anything good.</p><p>"You don't have to worry too much; I think you're doing quite well. I will have to talk to Paul about your progress. Of course, they'll talk to everyone whom you've trailed. Thomas, Molly, Heather, all of the more senior servers. Think about it like a second interview and you'll nail it." He smiled and Lily actually found a way to smile back genuinely. Marlene gave her a look of reassurance.</p><p>"Thanks, Dan. Nobody warned me about that," she replied.</p><p>"Do you have any siblings?" asked Marlene innocently.</p><p>"I'm an only child, but Donovan is like my brother. He's probably skulking around here somewhere. I asked him to join us, but I'm not sure if he can make it," he replied. Lily and Marlene froze, but tried to play it off. Their waitperson approached with their drinks.</p><p>"Oh, is that so?" asked Marlene with a nervous smile. She took a small sip of her mead and Lily's own smile froze on her face. Lily looked around again and back down at her butterbeer. Marlene was right. What if she had never asked Marlene to join her? Lily almost shuddered at the thought.</p><p>Dan looked around before leaning in. The two girls instinctively leaned in as well.</p><p>"Donovan's tastes are a little… off the beaten path, so to speak. You two would really like him though," he said quietly. Lily nodded, not quite sure how to respond at first. Marlene struggled to keep her emotions off her face.</p><p>"He seems like an elusive person. I've heard you mention him so many times, I'd love to finally meet him," Lily lied. Marlene's frown deepened.</p><p>"Yeah, definitely," replied Dan, grinning back. Marlene took advantage of the lull in conversation.</p><p>"Dan, I've heard of some…weird things happening at the restaurant."</p><p>"Oh, you read the <em>Prophet</em>, don't you? It's all a load of rubbish."</p><p>"How do you mean?"</p><p>"Well, the muggles right, if they actually believed that they were being targeted, the muggle PM would immediately launch an investigation. It's a load of crap. Those muggles who were found dead 'at the hands of dark magic'. It's a bit much. I think it's propaganda against purebloods." The two girls looked back at him blankly. "Look, I'll tell you something. I knew them girls who died. It wasn't dark magic that killed them like Dumbledore will have you believe. They were all junkies, you know," he said. Lily's eyes widened. She had not heard details about the attacks. Marlene and Lily did not respond when he spoke again.</p><p>"Now's your chance. Here he is." Dan gestured behind them.</p><p>Avery was almost the exact same height as Dan, Lily noted when Dan stood to greet his cousin. He was more handsome than Dan but had none of his charming aura. Lily inhaled. She desperately hoped he did not remember her from their days at Hogwarts.</p><p>"Hello," he greeted. "I'm Donovan, nice to meet you girls." They exchanged greetings and timidly chatted with him for a few minutes.</p><p>"Have we met before?" he asked Marlene suddenly, studying her.</p><p>"Er, you were a few years older than us at Hogwarts. I believe we may have exchanged paths once or twice," Marlene replied, lying through her teeth. Avery was a particularly nasty Slytherin, who had once hexed her during her second year that she ended up in the hospital wing.</p><p>"Oh, Justin is here tonight. I owe him a few galleons. Give me just a second," Dan said, standing to go talk to a blonde man near the bar. Donovan watched him go. He turned back to them and spoke only when he was out of earshot.</p><p>"So, you've met my cousin."</p><p>"We have," responded Lily shortly.</p><p>"He's… an optimist. Dan believes that you can get away with sitting on the sidelines," Donovan said, not looking directly at them.</p><p>"I reckon we're a bit pessimistic," replied Lily, understanding what he was saying.</p><p>"I know exactly who you two are," he said. Lily and Marlene fidgeted uncomfortably, but he continued. "I wouldn't be stupid enough to attack you in broad daylight, especially outnumbered. I'm just here to tell you that the time has come when we will all have to pledge our allegiance to what we believe in. I know the McKinnon's <em>used</em> to be a respected pureblood family," he finished with a dark look at Marlene.</p><p>"We didn't much fancy marrying our cousins," replied Marlene coldly. He smiled knowingly but didn't respond to her.</p><p>"And I also know the Dark Lord is willing to look past your muggle parentage," Donovan said, this time to Lily. "He knows of your power. And he invites you both to choose the right side."</p><p>They looked back at him stony-faced.</p><p>"I think we've already chosen properly," said Lily fiercely. He nodded in understanding.</p><p>"Fair enough. Let this also be your warning that the Dark Lord prefers to ask for himself. And he doesn't like hear the word 'no'."</p><p>Eventually, Dan walked back over to their table.</p><p>"Lovely to meet you ladies," said Donovan, standing now.</p><p>"Do you have to go so soon?" asked Dan, perplexed.</p><p>"Yes, Dan, I have a prior engagement."</p><p>Donovan gave the girls one more meaningful look before exiting the building. The girls spent the rest of the night in a daze. Marlene faked a yawn.</p><p>"Am I boring you, Marlene?" laughed Dan.</p><p>"I had quite a long day, I'm sorry," she smiled sheepishly.</p><p>"No, I understand. I can escort you both back to your flat," he offered, taking a look and their empty drinks and standing up. They too stood up.</p><p>"No!" Marlene cried before she could stop herself. Lily sent her an odd look. "Er, sorry. But it's fine, you don't have to do that." They walked towards the front door and went outside.</p><p>"Right, er well thanks for coming out with me. Sorry Donovan didn't stay for too long. He's odd like that," he replied. "See you," he departed with a final wave.</p><p>Once he was gone, Lily turned to Marlene.</p><p>"Marlene, we shouldn't stick around here. Come on," said Lily, pulling her away from Knockturn Alley towards Diagon Alley. But once they were in front of the Leaky Cauldron, Marlene suddenly stopped.</p><p>"Lily, I know you haven't been back very long, but a Death Eater threatening us is nothing to take lightly. Donovan explicitly told us that Voldemort wants us to join him. I can't risk Dan telling him where we live."</p><p>"I get that—"</p><p>"And Dan doesn't know who we are. I don't know if Donovan will tell him. That is the most one-sided friendship I've ever seen. Dan thinks of Donovan like an older brother and Donovan is using him to recruit his friends for Voldemort," said Lily, frantically analyzing what just happened.</p><p>"We need to talk to someone, preferably in the Order," said Marlene quietly.</p><p>"Frank and Alice?" asked Lily quietly. Marlene nodded.</p><p>"That's a good idea, but they're under protection. I want to talk someone tonight." Marlene pulled Lily towards the road. They walked in silence and Marlene held out her wand hand at the curb.</p><p>After a minute, a large, purple triple decker bus approached. The doors opened to reveal short, portly man standing at the bottom of the staircase. The two girls quickly hopped onto the bus.</p><p>"Welcome to the Knight Bus. I'm Malcolm, this is Ernie. What's your destination?"</p><p>"Godric's Hollow, please," said Marlene. Lily looked back at her, scandalized.</p><p>"Take 'er away, Ern!"</p><hr/><p>Lily and Marlene stood in front of a large, taupe two-story home. The house itself was decidedly smaller than the Longbottom home, but the estate was enormous. Lily craned her neck to get a good view of the entire home as they approached the short metal gate, which was slightly ajar. Marlene knocked quickly once they reached the front door and anxiously scanned around their surroundings. The door swung open and a house-elf appeared in front of them.</p><p>"Hi Roony, is James here?" asked Marlene. The house-elf nodded and made to call for her master. She beckoned them inside.</p><p>The girls sat quietly in the front room while they waited for James to come downstairs. Lily suddenly felt very self-conscious of barging into their home at ten in the evening. She looked around desperate to find a topic of conversation when James strode in, wearing Gryffindor pajama bottoms and a nightshirt.</p><p>"Lily, Marlene? What are you doing here? Is everything alright?" James asked, clearly concerned.</p><p>"We're completely fine," said Lily decisively. "We've just come from The Trophy Room." James looked back at them perplexed.</p><p>"What's that?"</p><p>"Pub in Knockturn Alley. We were with Dan and his cousin Avery showed up," said Marlene. James's eyes widened, but Marlene continued. "He, in no uncertain terms, asked us to join their side."</p><p>"What's more is we got Dan to talk a bit about the murders. Dan swears they were all drug addicts who more likely overdosed, but's he blinded. He said Donovan was practically his brother," said Lily, almost tripping her words in a strange mix of horror and anxiousness.</p><p>"Merlin, what are you two going into the lion's den by yourselves? You could have been hurt," said James.</p><p>"You and Sirius would have done it without a second thought," retorted Lily. "That's all semantics. We're here, we're fine, and personally I've learned my lesson. Don't tell me it's different if it had been you and Sirius." James had opened his mouth to retort but fell silent when she made to continue. "Obviously, we told him no, but he warned us."</p><p>"Threatened, more like," said Marlene. "He said that Voldemort prefers to ask for himself and that he does not take no for an answer."</p><p>James nodded and rubbed his eyes tiredly.</p><p>"I can't even think straight. Listen, I'll tell the boys to come by in the morning and we can all talk then. You two can stay in the guest room."</p><p>"No, James, we really can't—"</p><p>"After what I've heard, I must insist," Euphemia Potter spoke from the doorway. She swept into the room in her night robe. "It's too dangerous for you to go home tonight. You'll be safe here for the night. We have more than enough space for you," she finished with a warm smile.</p><p>"Thank you, Mrs. Potter. That's very kind of you," said Lily appreciatively.</p><p>"Please, dear, call me Euphemia."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Garden (Say It Like Dat)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello everyone! Back with another chapter. This chapter is about as long as the previous. I hope you all like it! Hopefully, I'll update again by this weekend! Hope you are all had a nice SAFE holiday! (:</p><p>Warning- This chapter contains mention of drugs and substance abuse.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning began with Lily's favorite moment of the day. She lived for those brief moments in the morning where all she did was enjoy the sound of birds chirping. Then, like always, the events of the previous day hit her like a ton of bricks.</p><p>Lily took a deep breath and registered her surroundings. She smiled at the predictable decor of the guest room. The room was large, adorned in marvelous shades of red and gold. It was almost identical to her dormitory at Hogwarts from before her seventh year, save for the number of beds. Lily looked back at Marlene, who was still asleep next to her.</p><p>Lily looked down at her clothes in confusion until she remembered the events of the night before. She and Marlene had no choice but to ask James for some pajamas to sleep in. They both wore old mismatched Quidditch clothes that he found in the back of his closet.</p><p>She got up from under the covers and walked towards the large window. She took in the beautiful scenery before her. Lily knew from stories the Marauders told that Potter Manor had a small space for flying, but they rarely mentioned the lush garden that also accompanied the estate.</p><p>The garden spanned from the large picket fence to the wall of a small guesthouse at the north west side. The fence was tall and covered in lovely vineyards that needed a bit of pruning. There were several bushes filled with roses as well as a few other flowers Lily had never seen before. There were beautiful pink ones that seemed to sparkle. Next to the pink flowers was a mossy, cement bench.</p><p>Lily decided she needed to explore the garden before she left Potter Manor. Careful not to wake Marlene, Lily tiptoed out of the room and walked down the hall. She searched for a loo and found an empty one near the staircase.</p><p>After splashing a bit of water on her face, she examined the dark circles under her eyes, which she hadn't noticed until now. She cringed, but decided to exit the bathroom and go back to the guest room. Another door squeaked just as she was about to open the bedroom door. It was James, emerging from his bedroom. He meandered towards her and Lily was quick to notice that he was shirtless and wearing the same pajama bottoms as the night before. They hung dangerously low and Lily worked to keep her eyes locked on his eyes and not on his muscular build.</p><p>"Lily, you're up! How did you sleep?" asked James, giving her a quick up and down. He seemed none the wiser to her wandering eye.</p><p>"I actually slept wonderfully, thank you. Better than I have in weeks," she replied.</p><p>"That's good, glad to hear it. The rest of the Marauders along with Frank and Alice should be here soon and then we can all talk," said James.</p><p>Lily suddenly became aware of her thin shirt and shorts and the fact that she was not wearing a bra when James look down quickly and back up to her face.</p><p>"Breakfast is ready whenever you and Marlene are, er dressed," said James loudly, tripping over himself to get downstairs. Before she could even thank him, he had disappeared. Once she entered the room, she looked down and saw her taut nipples poking through the fabric of James's old shirt.</p><p>"Bugger. Mar, wake up," said Lily lightly. The brunette rolled over to see Lily standing over the bed.</p><p>"I'm up, I'm up," she responded. Marlene sat up in bed and looked at Lily before cackling with laughter. "Oh, my days, no wonder James ran away from you. You got the poor boy overexcited—"</p><p>"Marlene! What's the matter with you?" interrupted Lily, crossing her arms over her chest. She couldn't help but crack a smile at Marlene's state.</p><p>"Nothing, nothing. Oh, that boy doesn't stand a chance," she murmured.</p><p>"Okay, two things. One, it was his fault for looking. Two, he wasn't wearing a bloody shirt—"</p><p>"Oh, you could have led with that. 'Potter wasn't wearing a bloody shirt in his own house!' That would have shut me right up," replied Marlene.</p><p>"It was your idea to borrow his clothes. We could have just transfigured our clothing."</p><p>"It's not the same. I always wake up in the old clothes. Would you like to wake up in denim?"</p><p>"Anyway, James told us to grab breakfast downstairs. Er, once we're dressed, he said."</p><p>"Of course, he did," she choked out, in between more fits of laughter.</p><p>"Come, on let's go," ordered Lily.</p><p>Once they changed back into last night's clothing, they walked down the stairs and Lily purposely took the seat next to James's. Marlene threw her an astounded look, but Lily turned her attention instead to the plate of food in front of her. It was silent save for the sound of Lily stabbing her breakfast with her fork.</p><p>"Lily?"</p><p>"Yes, James?" asked Lily, shooting a lethal look at Marlene.</p><p>"Your potatoes didn't hurt anyone, so maybe take it easy?" Lily chewed slowly before looking at his grinning face. She couldn't help but smile back.</p><p>"Anything to drink, Misses?" asked the house-elf, appearing at the table out of nowhere.</p><p>"Roony, can I get some pumpkin juice?" asked Marlene.</p><p>"Coffee, please? I can just get it—" said Lily, but with two snaps of the house-elf's fingers, the drinks appeared. Roony disappeared with a bow. James passed her the cream and sugar.</p><p>"Thank you."</p><p>Lily ate her breakfast, silently absorbing the walls adorned in moving photographs of James as a young boy. She smiled at a frame where he posed for his first Quidditch game at Hogwarts. The frame next to it almost made her spit out her coffee.</p><p>"James, is that the picture we took in our seventh year?" Lily wanted to stand to take a better look at it. A seventeen-year-old Lily and James smiled in the Head common room, with James observing Lily from the corner of his eye every ten seconds without fail. Their matching Head badges shined neatly in the photograph.</p><p>"The very same; my mum asked me for it, so I sent her a copy," replied James. Lily glanced at him. He threw his hand into his hair when she did so, and she had to stifle a laugh.</p><p>"That's brilliant, I need a copy as well," Lily muttered to herself. He grinned up at her and she suddenly grew self-conscious. She began to scarf down her breakfast.</p><p>"I didn't tell you last night. We think Melody's a witch," said Marlene after a few minutes of silence.</p><p>"We?" asked Marlene.</p><p>"Er, well I do. She mentioned going to The Trophy Room Friday. I don't see how a Muggle could even find Knockturn Alley. I never knew she was a witch. We've talked loads and she's never said anything."</p><p>"I'm not sure, I haven't noticed anything off about her."</p><p>"Is being a drug dealer totally normal?" asked Marlene.</p><p>"A what?"</p><p>"She's a drug dealer," said Marlene flatly, as though it were obvious.</p><p>"How do you know that, and I don't?" asked James, looking wildly between Lily and Marlene. Lily took a sip of her coffee and Marlene ate a bite of her toast.</p><p>"Er—" stammered Lily.</p><p>The sound of loud knocking interrupted and Lily flinched. James stood and was on Roony's heels towards the front door. After a chorus of greetings, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Frank, and Alice walked in to the dining room. Lily and Marlene stood to greet their friends.</p><p>"How urgent could breakfast be, Prongs?" asked Sirius. He noticed Marlene and Lily were sitting at the kitchen table. "Bloody fuck, you buried the lead," said Sirius, quietly so only James could hear him.</p><p>"Glad you could all come. As I mentioned, Lily and Marlene have some important information." The rest of the group sat down at the table, save for Frank and Remus as there were only six chairs.</p><p>"So important there had be a sleepover?" asked Sirius under his breath, with a glance at Lily and Marlene's outfits. Remus elbowed him in the gut. "Ow!" Sirius stared at Lily with a smirk and Lily glared at him.</p><p>"Before we start, we also need to discuss this. Surprised you haven't seen this morning's Prophet," said Frank, throwing the newspaper in the middle of the table. James got to it first and read aloud.</p><p>"'Dementor Attacks in Three Muggle Neighborhoods'. Merlin, that's bleak," said James.</p><p>"Which neighborhoods?" demanded Lily.</p><p>"It doesn't really say," replied Alice. "Only mentions West Norwood." The group was quiet. Lily panicked internally. All of the excitement with Alice's party had distracted her. She had not talked about her magic issues with anybody but Remus and Marlene who stole glances at her. She gave them both sad smiles and mouthed "later" to them.</p><p>Marlene began to recount the confrontation with Avery last night.</p><p>"Last time, Weaver was trying to tell Snape and the other two about James and Sirius's allegiances. What if this is Avery's job- to find and recruit, er, talent?" asked Frank.</p><p>"That cannot be all his job is," replied Alice without missing a beat. Frank nodded in agreement.</p><p>"I could see my brother and his lackey Mulciber being involved. They could have been the other two men there that night," said Sirius quietly.</p><p>"It could have been anyone, Sirius," insisted Marlene. "Avery warned us that Voldemort will ask us directly," she added. Peter shuddered at the mention of his name. "Weaver seems easily controlled by Avery. That boy seemed completely oblivious."</p><p>"Personally, I think Dan's guise of innocence is a con. Some people don't agree with me," said James.</p><p>"Donovan said so himself that his cousin thinks he can play both sides. Dan doesn't have the Dark Mark. These are facts that you cannot dispute, James. It doesn't matter how much you dislike him, he's just—"</p><p>"Fallen in with the wrong crowd, where have I heard that one before?" mocked James.</p><p>"Oi, you two! Enough! Weaver is not a Death Eater, James," interjected Alice and turned to Lily who wore a jubilant grin. "But that doesn't mean he's trustworthy just because he hasn't tried to murder you, Lily." The smirk vanished from Lily's face and she crossed her arms with a frown.</p><p>"There's something else entirely that we also found out. Lily and James's coworker, Melody who they believed to be a Muggle, asked Lily to meet her at Knockturn Alley. At the same bar that Dan invited Lily to," said Marlene, changing the subject. They all turned to Lily expectantly.</p><p>"Yeah, we've talked quite a bit and I've never gotten the sense that she's lived anything other than a Muggle life," said Lily.</p><p>"I talked to her a bit. She didn't make me suspicious either," said Sirius.</p><p>"When did you meet her?" demanded Marlene.</p><p>"Er, that night at the Red Room. When Lily went home with Dan," said Sirius deviously.</p><p>"Oi, nothing happened!" said Lily defensively, feeling felt her cheeks burn.</p><p>"The other interesting thing about Melody is that she moonlights as a drug dealer. But she's not small time. She carries enough with her for it to be more just a side job. I don't get why a witch would sell pills and working at a restaurant," said Lily, avoided James's intense scrutiny.</p><p>"How do you know about all that?" asked Remus, perplexed by Lily's analysis.</p><p>"Word travels fast among the back waiters," said Lily uncomfortably.</p><p>"What's her last name?" asked Sirius.</p><p>"Clarke. Melody Clarke."</p><p>"Damn, that's a common name."</p><p>"Exactly my thought," replied Lily.</p><p>"It could also be fake," proposed Alice. A few of them muttered in agreement.</p><p>"Didn't you look through their files already, James?" asked Frank.</p><p>"What?" asked Lily. The rest of the group looked at him in similar fashion. James ran his hand through his hair in anxiousness.</p><p>"Er, yes, I used the invisibility cloak to break into the Owner's office. But I looked through the files of people whom I most suspected."</p><p>"And who was that?" questioned Lily.</p><p>"So, er there's Dan and that Thomas bloke. He's bald. That kind of thing really threw me off. Thomas is definitely a Muggle, if that helps." They all looked back at him flatly. "Alright, you lot should try skulking around in the cloak when you're my height."</p><p>"James, you need to check her file. Make sure that 'Melody Clarke' is in fact a real bloody person. I'll check for records at this Ministry. For all we know, she could have body-snatched some poor Muggle girl. Lily, can you describe her?" asked Frank.</p><p>"She has long, black hair. Her skin is medium brown, but maybe she's tanner now that it's summer? She usually wears her hair straight and her eyes are two different colors. Green and hazel."</p><p>"Interesting. Can you think of anything else?" Frank asked, but Lily shook her head.</p><p>"I've noticed she doesn't really talk about herself. Melody never mentions any family or even a flatmate. She did invite me over to her flat on Friday though. Maybe I could get her to do it again?"</p><p>"That sounds dangerous. You need one of us to go as well, preferably two," replied Alice.</p><p>"She might be suspicious, though," replied Peter. The group nodded in agreement.</p><p>"Dan says the three Muggles who died were all junkies. If that's true, then he could have a point about how it's all 'propaganda'. Either they were actually accidental deaths that are getting way too much attention, or these women were targeted because they assumed nobody would be concerned," commented Lily, thinking deeply about the events of the past week.</p><p>"That's a good point," said Marlene. "Unfortunately, I think it's the latter."</p><p>"I will say that Melody tried selling me drugs. She's mentioned Ritalin, Quaaludes, cocaine, and Valium," she finished, not telling the absolute truth.</p><p>"What are those?" asked Peter. Lily went on to explain the various drugs and their intended effects.</p><p>"None of those alone could have caused an overdose, except for maybe the cocaine. I need to find out what else she's been dealing," said Lily. Her friends gazed back at her in amazement. Lily suddenly felt as though she was under a microscope.</p><p>"Merlin, Evans, what would we have done without you?" muttered Sirius. James threw him a scornful look. "Prongs, you're my best mate, but you haven't gained their trust." James didn't respond.</p><p>"I just reckon they don't see you as a threat, Lily," said Marlene.</p><p>The group stayed silent for a long time when Roony came in with plates of breakfast. Lily and Marlene moved to the sitting room to let Remus and Frank sit to eat.</p><p>"Mar, I don't know what I can do. This doesn't seem like it's something magic can solve."</p><p>"I agree with you there, Lily. Maybe you should write to Dumbledore? He might be able to help you or at least point you in the direction of someone who could help," replied Marlene quietly.</p><p>"Lily?" said a familiar voice. She looked up at James's bespectacled face and smiled.</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"Can I speak to you in the garden?" She nodded quickly.</p><p>They walked outside to explore the grand backyard. She walked towards the large oak tree for some shade. The Potters' garden was verdant and deeply green. Lily was awestruck by the picturesque hedges, sheared immaculately. She sat down on a moss-covered bench and imagined having a family that she could enjoy something this lovely with. Lily paused at this thought.</p><p>Am I jealous of James Potter?</p><p>"My dad likes to joke that my mum poured more love into this garden than she did into me," said James, sitting down next to her.</p><p>"It's gorgeous," she said. He had to bite his tongue to stop himself from saying something stupid.</p><p>"Yes, it is really lovely," said James. He paused, then decided he should just be straightforward with her. "Lily, how do you know so much about Melody and the drugs?" asked James. He looked as though he already knew the answer to the question.</p><p>"I may have experimented a little," she admitted. James sighed loudly. "Well, are you going to lecture me about how it's dangerous and stupid?" asked Lily.</p><p>"Seems like you already knew that. I just didn't think you were that type of girl."</p><p>"It just seemed like an effective way to get my mind off of things," she said, looking away.</p><p>"Lily, you can always talk to me," responded James.</p><p>She felt extremely absurd now that she was trying to explain why she had started engaging in such risky behavior.</p><p>"I've just had a lot of my mind," Lily said, evading the question.</p><p>"I can understand that. It's just… I can't see you hurt. We really need you," he said. Lily sensed that he was being sincere as he stared at her and she softened.</p><p>"You're not going to see me hurt, you big ol' sop," she smiled sweetly. He moved a piece of hair out of her face but turned red and backed away from her.</p><p>"Do you have a plan for how to confront Melody? You two are always together anytime I look over at you," commented James, trying to change the subject.</p><p>"Do you watch me or something?" Lily tilted her head in confusion. She was only scheduled to work a few times with James over the past week.</p><p>"Or something," he answered vaguely. "In all fairness, my job is to be a silent observer."</p><p>"I don't know how to approach this situation. It's so difficult. Melody doesn't seem like a bad person. She was the only person who called me Lily and not 'New Girl'. I hate that; I have a bloody name," complained Lily.</p><p>"Right, who could forget Lovely Lily?" James teased.</p><p>"Slughorn knew that bloody nickname drove me crazy."</p><p>"I get it. She's your mate. It's not like she completely deceived you… yet. You need to figure out if her telling you that she's going to Knockturn Alley was a mistake or a coincidence."</p><p>Lily nodded and mulled over what he said.</p><p>"You need to be careful, but she trusts you. Let her. Don't trust her anymore," added James.</p><p>"Listen, I just want to say thank you for all of this. I hope Marlene and I haven't been too much of a burden. I meant to say it sooner, but so much happened last night. I'm still processing it all."</p><p>"Don't ever call yourself a burden. You and Marlene could bloody well move in here for all I care."</p><p>"Alright, that's a bit much, Potter."</p><p>"Anytime, Lily." She nodded slowly, realizing her mistake before moving on to the last thing on her mind.</p><p>"Sorry, James, can I borrow an owl?"</p><p>Lily spent the rest of her weekend stressing about how to approach the situation with Melody. She paced around her room and contemplated how to appear casual about the situation with Melody. Lily knew she had become occupied on this for far too long. It was also maddening that her time at the restaurant to be over before it had even really begun.</p><p>There was no way she could keep a close eye on things if she didn't work there anymore. Her next day at work started off fairly dull. It was still early, and she was organizing the wine cellar by year and area. Lily examined the labels of two whites when she heard footsteps come down the stairs.</p><p>"Lily are you down here?" called Molly.</p><p>"Yes!"</p><p>"Oh okay, come with me. You're trailing me today." Lily put the wine down and followed Molly up the stairs. When they reached the kitchen, Lily spotted Dan by the sous chef and waved to him. He waved back warmly.</p><p>"How do you feel your first week has gone?" asked Molly innocently.</p><p>"Well it's been lovely. Everyone is really welcoming."</p><p>"Good to hear. Are the rumors true?"</p><p>"What rumors?"</p><p>"I heard you went out with Dan and I've also seen the way he looks at you. He's a lovely boy, I approve," said Molly, with a soft smile.</p><p>"That was just two nights ago," said Lily. Molly shrugged. "Erm, we went on a date, if you could even call it that. It's really not like that."</p><p>"Sure, Lily."</p><p>"I'm serious, I even brought a friend—"</p><p>"Molly, I have a table that needs a wine recommendation," interrupted Melody, appearing in front of them. "They're adamant on consulting with you."</p><p>"Of course," replied Molly. The trio walked up the stairs to Melody's table. They were a young couple, who Melody said were newlyweds on their honeymoon. Lily beamed at Melody who smiled back.</p><p>"How was your weekend?" asked Melody kindly.</p><p>"Decent," said Lily. "Rather uneventful."</p><p>"Oh, is that right?" replied Melody. "From what I heard—"</p><p>"Does everyone know already?" cried Lily.</p><p>"I'm just teasing, Lily," said Melody, with a glance at the redhead.</p><p>"Lily, do you have a particular wine in mind?" asked Molly expectantly when they reached the table in question.</p><p>"I do, it's, erm—" she stammered, but spoke confidently when Molly narrowed her eyes at her. "I'd recommend a red, sweet, and light-bodied; the 1974 Lambrusco. It's meant to be drunk young and most importantly, fits all your criteria." The young couple nodded, clearly impressed. Still, they looked to Molly who nodded and reached for the menus. The trio of women walked down the stairs.</p><p>"Perfect, Lily," said Molly once they reached the landing of the stairs. "Very impressive."</p><p>A few minutes later, Melody showed up with the wine in tow. She handed it to Lily.</p><p>"Here it is."</p><p>"Oh, thank you, Melody. But it's your table, I couldn't."</p><p>"It would be my pleasure Lily. You did perfectly. I'll go with you, if it'll make you feel better," Melody with an air of condescension. Lily made her way up the stairwell with Melody on her heels. Carefully, Lily uncorked the wine and poured into the wine glasses on the table.</p><p>"Enjoy," said Lily. They smiled up to her and the two girls started walk down the stairs.</p><p>"So, any plans tonight?" asked Lily when they eventually reached the kitchen again.</p><p>"No, probably just going to stay in tonight. You?"</p><p>"Er, yeah no I don't have any plans. I'm just bored, you know. I thought London would be more stimulating, it's been a bit drab," lied Lily.</p><p>"Yeah, it can be." Melody looked unaffected.</p><p>"Runner!" called the chef and Melody jumped up to the counter. Lily quickly followed when she saw four plates out. Melody took one, two, three plates in her arms, carrying them effortlessly. As Lily reached for the fourth plate, she had an idea.</p><p>"Hey, since you're not doing anything tonight, maybe you could help me with a few things?" asked Lily as they raced to deliver the hot plates of food.</p><p>"Like what?" asked Melody. They paused their conversation to set the plates down.</p><p>"That three-plate hold. I have no clue how you can all do that. And my exam in next week," said Lily, once they were walking back to the kitchen.</p><p>"Are you sure Dan can't help you?" smirked Melody. She leaned against the counter in the servers' corner on the floor.</p><p>"I want to learn, not listen to him try to flirt with me," responded Lily.</p><p>"Alright, come over to my flat. Will tomorrow night work?" asked Melody.</p><p>"That's perfect," smiled Lily.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks, so much for reading! This chapter was really fun to write, let me know what you all think.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Exit Scott (Interlude)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>James stood outside in front of Lily's door. It was a particularly crisp morning and quite a few minutes since he first knocked. Did he knock too softly? Did Lily usually sleep in this late? After a moment, the door swung open to reveal a glowering short, curly-haired witch. Marlene wore her professional attire, with her hair in a half-up, half-down style.</p><p>"All right, Marlene?"</p><p>"'All right, Marlene?'" she imitated James's tone. "Stop being so bloody cheerful. Come inside." She beckoned him in and towards the couch.</p><p>"Is Lily here? Sorry to just show up on your doorstep," said James, not letting Marlene's sour mood affect him.</p><p>"Yes, but I'm not sure she's up yet. I'll call her," responded Marlene and disappeared into Lily's room.</p><p>He scanned the front room and saw it was still mostly decorated with Marlene's mementos. James did not remember the last time he visited her. The flat was quite cozy. Marlene emerged from Lily's room.</p><p>"She'll be right out," said Marlene with a yawn. She went back into her room and came back out with a pair of heels in hand.</p><p>"How are you, Marlene?" She sat to put them on.</p><p>"Never better. What brings you here this early?" she responded gruffly.</p><p>"You seem to be in a chipper mood."</p><p>"It's just… I used to be excited to go to work. But, it's been so frustrating lately. Sometimes I feel like I should just quit and do something else. I just don't want to depend on my parents. Or worse, move back in with them."</p><p>"Eh, it's not that bad," replied James easily.</p><p>"You're a <em>man</em>, James. You don't understand," she said dramatically. James couldn't help but laugh.</p><p>Marlene always struggled to see eye to eye with her parents. For that reason, she appreciated her Uncle Jack for his mentorship. He didn't see her as a silly girl. He knew she was intelligent and mature; her parents saw things differently. They did not like the idea of their daughter living so independently.</p><p>"Hey, I wish I had an Uncle Jack," replied James. She smiled back at him. "I'm sorry to bother so early. I've been up for several hours. It's just a few things. Mainly, I snuck into the restaurant late last night. I looked through Melody's file," said James.</p><p>"Is that so?" called Lily's voice from the hallway. She looked drained again this morning, he noticed, but adorable as ever in a casual summertime outfit. Lily joined him on the couch. "Hi James," greeted Lily with a yawn.</p><p>"Do tell," said Marlene. "James, did you want something to drink? Coffee, tea, water?"</p><p>"I'm fine, thanks," replied James.</p><p>"Was there anything interesting?" asked Lily.</p><p>"Several interesting things. Firstly, I found out that she's American. Her documents are all from New York. But I've never heard other than a British accent. That's odd, isn't it?"</p><p>"A bit, but if she is a witch, it would make sense. It would explain why we never saw her at Hogwarts," Marlene said.</p><p>"That's another thing; her birthday is November 30th, 1957—" James started.</p><p>"Oh, nice her sun sign is Sagittarius," said Lily, quietly to herself.</p><p>"Oh no, you're one of those?" laughed James. Her head snapped up. "That's all the women at the bar talk to me about. They go on and on about how I'm an Aries and it's supposed to mean something."</p><p>"Never mind, why does her birthday matter… to you?"</p><p>"Well, it doesn't. I'm just wondering if she's mentioned anything about it?" asked James.</p><p>"She's not exactly an open book, James."</p><p>"That would be the biggest indicator that these documents are fake. They aren't even the originals, so I can't tell if they're suspicious or not…"</p><p>A loud hooting sound interrupted them.</p><p>"What is that?" demanded Marlene, glaring at James.</p><p>"Is there a bloody owl in here?" asked Lily, looking around wildly.</p><p>"Oh, almost forgot!" James moved to the couch and pulled at the air next to it to reveal an owl cage with a large, grey owl inside. Its strange orange eyes studied the trio; Lily looked gob smacked and stared at the shimmery material in his hands.</p><p>"What is this giant, ruddy owl doing here?" screeched Lily again.</p><p>"That's not a very nice way to greet your new owl, Lily."</p><p>"<em>My</em> owl?" He enjoyed the pleased look on her face.</p><p>"Yes," answered James proudly.</p><p>"Oh, you shouldn't have, James," Lily said, mouth wide open in a mixture of excitement and disbelief.</p><p>"Afraid I did. She's all yours," said James.</p><p>"Oh, it's a female owl?" asked Lily. He nodded. "That's incredibly sweet of you, but I can't accept this. You have to let me pay you back." James knew she would respond this way.</p><p>"Absolutely not! This is a simple welcome-back gift. I missed your birthday. Besides, there's a no-refund policy," said James, going down the list of excuses he created.</p><p>"Did you ask each one of the Marauders for a good excuse, mate? Because you have just used one," Marlene said quietly. Lily snorted with laughter and James threw Marlene a very rude gesture.</p><p>"Sorry. You don't have to put up with me anymore. I'm late for work. I'll see you two later," said Marlene and walked out the door after she gathered her things. The door shut quietly, and James turned back to Lily.</p><p>"So, what are you going to name her?" asked James, gesturing to the owl.</p><p>"Er, I'm not sure. I'll have to think about it. Er, can we put her in my room?" asked Lily.</p><p>"Of course," he agreed, picking up the owl's cage. Lily led him to her room. James was stunned with what he saw. He had seen Lily's room in their Head Dormitory only twice, as boys were not allowed to go up the Head Girl's dorm. Still, he knew from their shared living area that Lily always kept her space tidy. She often said that she could not focus in a messy room.</p><p>There were clothes and shoes strewn across her floor. Much of the floor was not even visible due to the mess. Crumpled white tissues littered the nightstand, along with glass jars in varying sizes filled with water. The trash bin was overflowing. There was a single, solitary frame on Lily's dresser of what James assumed was a young Lily and her mother. Next to the photograph, trash and jewelry mingled on the dresser.</p><p>"Did somebody ransack your room?"</p><p>"Sorry, haven't had any time to clean up," said Lily sheepishly.</p><p>"Er, no it's fine. It's your room…" replied James, trying his best to sound nonchalant. He actually didn't mind the clutter too much. In a way, it made sense to him. But he was still surprised that she let this go on.</p><p>She led him to the windowsill and took the owl from him. She let the owl sit on the windowsill, where a slight stream of sunlight shone. James sat on the corner of her bed.</p><p>"Clementine," she said finally.</p><p>"That's not so common," he replied.</p><p>"Well, her eyes are orange. Also, that was the name of Churchill's wife. She died around the time we graduated Hogwarts," said Lily. She sat next to him on the bed. James thought the surname sounded familiar.</p><p>"Churchill, that's the Muggle fellow right? PM?"</p><p>"Right, that's it, Clem," Lily smiled at the bird. "And here I thought you knew nothing about Muggle culture."</p><p>"I have to know a bit. Bartenders live off tips. Tips come from banter. This gorgeous face can only do so much," said James.</p><p>"Is that what bartending is? Standing and looking pretty? I'd make a killing."</p><p>"Absolutely, Lily, I've been saying that for years," responded James, without missing a beat.</p><p>"I was joking, James," replied Lily, swatting his arm playfully.</p><p>"So, where were we?" asked James, after a moment. "Right, Melody's file. Wait, I took notes." James reached into his back pocket.</p><p>"You did <em>what</em>?" asked Lily incredulously.</p><p>"I took notes," responded James, deadpan. He held up a bit of parchment.</p><p>"Why?" inquired Lily. "You never take notes." James found that he couldn't argue with her.</p><p>"Well, I've already relayed this to Frank, I was going to tell you, basically everybody else in the Order… what? Why are you looking at me like that?"</p><p>"Nothing, it's just… you <em>never </em>took notes." He was quiet. "Er, anyway, continue."</p><p>James secretly adored how she remembered stupid things like that. He was also not used to her giving him this much attention. Lily was normally not very observant and hearing her remember something so small gave him a bit of hope. James went on about everything in Melody's file from being written up a few times for being late to the sparse information she provided of her previous job.</p><p>"James, I know that you went through a lot to get all of this information. But other than her being American, this is all pretty…mundane. I'm starting to think we did all of this for nothing."</p><p>"Yeah, there's not really any glaring inconsistencies. We'll definitely know more after tonight. I don't think she's involved with Voldemort in any way," he conceded.</p><p>"Yup. Hey, can I ask you something?" She suddenly remembered a comment from Thomas. James nodded for her to continue. "Thomas made a comment to me a few days ago. He told me that you were a really good bartender. Are you charming drinks to make them taste good?"</p><p>James was slightly surprised that Thomas said his drinks were good. Thomas loved to criticize him.</p><p>"So it's inconceivable that I could actually be a good bartender?</p><p>"I wouldn't say that it's <em>inconceivable</em>. Unlikely is a better word for it," she replied cheekily.</p><p>"That's low. I wouldn't charm Muggles' drinks."</p><p>"Unless—"</p><p>"Unless it would turn them all into toads, yes fourth year I do remember. Had detention for months. The answer is still no," James insisted.</p><p>"Alright, I believe you. You're seriously just good then?"</p><p>"The very best. Don't sound so surprised," said James.</p><p>"I think you might be able to help me."</p><p>"Me? Help get you drunk? Only yes means yes, Lily."</p><p>"No, you dolt. My two-week probation ends this Monday and they'll decide whether to cut me or hire me. I know fuck all about bartending. My excuse to hang out with Melody tonight is working on the three-plate hold. Maybe you could show me how to make basic drinks," admitted Lily.</p><p>"Oh, so is this your excuse to spend time with me?" teased James.</p><p>"Absolutely not," snapped Lily, but she found her face tinge with embarrassment. "I'm just nervous about this exam. What if they don't hire me?"</p><p>"Er—" stammered James, unsure of how to answer. He ran his hands through his hair nervously.</p><p>"Why didn't you ever let me know? <em>Dan</em> had to tell me," said Lily.</p><p>"Yeah I don't know. Just slipped my mind," replied James. "I work most of this week, so maybe we could do it this weekend."</p><p>"Perfect! We can do it here. I'll make you dinner." They were silent after Lily said this, realizing the implication. This time it was Lily's turn to run her hands through her hair. "Not like it's a date or something. Marlene might have dinner with us as well. Not sure what she'll be up to. You know-"</p><p>"I'd love that," James interrupted, beaming at her.</p><hr/><p>
  <em>Knock knock knock.</em>
</p><p>"Hey, come in." Melody's flat was very small. Lily realized that she mentioned no family because she lived alone.</p><p>The apartment was decorated immaculately, with small knick-knacks littering the tiny space. Lily gazed around in wonder as she desperately tried to look for a clue. She hoped something would call out to her and clue her in on the truth. Was Melody a witch, squib, or just aware that Lily was a witch? She spotted a magnet on the refrigerator of the Manhattan skyline. Marlene led Lily away from the kitchen to the living area. The wall contained a large bookshelf, with sliding doors that led out to a small balcony.</p><p>"Your flat is so lovely," said Lily.</p><p>"Thanks," Marlene sat on the loveseat.</p><p>"So, how nervous are you?"</p><p>"Incredibly nervous. I didn't even realize I wasn't actually hired."</p><p>"Right, it's most like an invitation to train."</p><p>"Two weeks seems like an impossibly short period of time," replied Lily.</p><p>"What did you do before you started working at Martinelli's?" asked Melody.</p><p>"Er, I worked at a bakery back home. It was pretty big, but mostly boring. I just worked the till. What about you?" asked Lily.</p><p>"I wasn't doing much of anything with my life," Melody shrugged. Lily wasn't sure if she was being truthful or avoiding the question.</p><p>"Really? I thought I saw a cute little magnet of the Manhattan skyline. Did you ever live there?"</p><p>"Once in my life… Lily, do you know what drew me to you?" asked Melody. Lily shook her head. "We're both kind of fucked up. It creates a real bond, you know." Lily had the exact bond with somebody else in her life. Severus ended up hurting her more than she would ever admit.</p><p>"But," started Melody. "Talking about it makes it smaller sometimes." Lily nodded slowly but decided not to indulge her. Lily remembered what James said about not trusting Melody.</p><p>"Do you have any family?" asked Lily.</p><p>"Well, yes, but my parents are… the shittiest, most selfish people. But, I have Thomas, Heather, Cassie, Thomas, and even Dan can be sweet sometimes. I finally found my place. Literally and figuratively," said Melody dreamily. "I never thought I would find somewhere I belonged."</p><p>Lily thought back to Hogwarts, where she always felt at home, more so than her own home.</p><p>"Yeah, I can definitely understand that. My dad used to be really accepting of me, but I think he spent way too much with my sister," she replied glumly, thinking of the only family she had left.</p><p>"We should get started." Melody turned towards the kitchen counter. She picked up two plates and turned on the stove burner. She held the plates underneath the fire and let them get hot. Once they were warm, Lily held out her arms. Melody placed the hot plates on her forearm and the crook of her elbow. It burned and Lily knew they'd leave a mark.</p><p>"Ow!" Lily exclaimed after a few seconds. She set them down on the counter with a yelp.</p><p>"The plates at the restaurant are much, much heavier and hotter. You need to be able to do this and gracefully. Don't think about the pain. Come on, Lily."</p><p>Lily attempted the plate hold with disastrous results three more times. She was extremely frustrated.</p><p>"I need alcohol," said Lily.</p><p>"Wine?"</p><p>"Sure." Melody reached for two large wine glasses from the cabinet. She reached for a bottle of wine on the counter. "So, Lily, I will tell you that this wine is from France. What can you tell me about it?"</p><p>Melody handed her a small helping and Lily held it up to her nose.</p><p>"Hmm, well it's sweet. Is it French?" Lily commented, swishing the white wine in her mouth.</p><p>"Yes, Bordeaux. It's the 1968 Chataeu d'Yquem. It's from the Sauternais region." Lily enjoyed it immensely.</p><p>"It's lovely. Come on, let's do the plate hold again."</p><p>She nodded and Melody went to warm up all three plates this time. The plates were set on Lily's arm once more. She took a deep breath and walked successfully with them, setting them on Melody's dining table.</p><p>"Perfect!" Melody exclaimed. Lily collapsed into one of the dining chairs.</p><p>"I think that's all the plates we have for tonight," commented Melody.</p><p>"I've been meaning to ask you. On Friday, you invited me to the Trophy Room… I didn't know- I mean, I guess what I'm saying is-"</p><p>"You were wondering how I knew you were a witch?" guessed Melody. Lily blinked back at her in shock. "Yeah, Dan told me," she answered.</p><p>"Er, how did you know that Dan was a wizard? And are you a witch?"</p><p>"No, I'm not. Non-magical. I just know about it because I caught Dan once fixing his hair with his wand in the locker room. Did you know he uses magic? That's why a hair is never out of place." Lily laughed.</p><p>"Yes, his hair is immaculate. That makes sense."</p><p>"Dan has been going on about how your flatmate is Marlene McKinnon. It's really odd, I don't know how he knew so much about her. I thought it was a bit of a crush, but it seems like he's moved on to you. He won't shut up about you," said Melody.</p><p>Lily's eyes widened. Was Dan really that interested in Marlene? Lily could only guess the reason was nefarious.</p><p>"Er, yeah that's odd. I'm not interested in him though."</p><p>"Is there anyone you are interested in?" asked Melody. Lily hesitated.</p><p>She could be honest with Melody and hope she wouldn't tell anyone else.</p><p>"There is somebody else-" started Lily. The phone on the wall rang loudly and interrupted.</p><p>"Sorry," Melody moved to answer the phone. Lily moved to the couch in the sitting room to give her some privacy. After a few minutes, Melody walked up to her. "Lily, sorry, I have some unexpected company. Is it okay if we pick this up some other time?"</p><p>"Of course, thanks for helping." Lily gathered her belongings and headed towards the door. Before walking out, she pulled out her wand and fixed the mess on the floor with a quick <em>Reparo.</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So, that chapter is just a bit shorter than the last few chapters. I really liked writing Lily and James scenes, especially with a focus on James POV. Do you guys like what Lily named her owl? How do you think Lily and James's non-date (date, come on) will go?</p><p>Please remember to check out the playlist I made for this fic if you'd like! Link is on my profile.</p><p>Thank you to everyone who reads this, it means SO much to me!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. I Been</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Writing this chapter was very emotional. Thank you for reading. Please stay safe.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Lily did her best to avoid the subject of James over the next week. Incidentally, their scheduled shifts only overlapped once. That day, Lily spotted James behind the bar looking particularly charming. His button-up had the sleeves rolled up and Lily found herself scrutinizing the muscles of his forearm. He wiped down the bar and chatted with a few guests sitting at the bar.</p><p>"You know, I heard about how Cassie was fucking with you. Sometimes I swear that girl is a mind reader," said Thomas, startling Lily. He approached her at an empty section in the back of the restaurant as she folded napkins.</p><p>"Er, I don't know—" she feigned ignorance poorly. The napkin in front of her did not want to cooperate. Lily struggled to maintain her focus and chanced another glance at Thomas's handsome, clean shaven face.</p><p>"Normally, you're a decent liar. Melody falls for it. I don't. I see right through it," he said, sitting down next to her and helping with the napkins. Lily narrowed her eyes at him and bit her lip in thought. There were few options; she could she come clean or play stupid. The former sounded easier, but Lily decided to change the subject altogether.</p><p>"Have you ever gone out with a regular?" she asked casually.</p><p>"I haven't. But they always ask. Once, Melody told this woman who asked where she could go for a nightcap to go to The Red Room. Followed us around all night. It was really irritating." Setting silverware on an empty table, Lily moved to help him arrange the napkins neatly. "I will say that I absolutely do not blame you for sitting here making googly eyes at the bartender. He is the finest piece of man this place has seen in a while. And he doesn't ever have eyes on anyone but you."</p><p>Her eyes scanned the room to check if anyone was listening to their conversation. Sighing in defeat, she knew could no longer pretend. Were her hungry, wandering eyes that obvious?</p><p>Thomas spent the next fifteen minutes talking about James. Begrudgingly, Lily told him about their bartending lesson at the end of the week.</p><p>"Do you fuck on the first date, Lily? If you don't, you should make an exception." She couldn't help but snort with laughter. Thomas was a big fan of saying the most obnoxious thing on his mind. Across the room, Lily made eye contact with Melody.</p><p>"It's not our first date. It's not a date at all," she said.</p><p>"Oh. How do you know him?"</p><p>"Er, just old family friends," she lied easily.</p><p>"And you've been on a date?" He asked.</p><p>"Yeah, he had asked me out so many times. Once, I finally gave in." she said. She struggled how to describe their brief affair as accurately as possible without bringing in Hogwarts.</p><p>"Was there a second?"</p><p>"Nope."</p><p>"Interesting."</p><p>"What are you two hens clucking about?" Melody's short figure appeared in front of them. She looked paler than usual and Lily thought the circles under her eyes were darker.</p><p>"Fucking on the first date," responded Thomas shortly.</p><p>"Jesus, overrated. If it happens, it happens." Melody giggled softly.</p><p>"You're such a romantic, Melody. Seriously, that was art," responded Thomas sarcastically. Melody laughed in response.</p><p>"Well, I don't think you should shame women for doing what pleases them," said Melody.</p><p>"Lily, what's your count?" asked Thomas. She thought back; there was Evan Lake, her first crush in her third year. It was a blissful two weeks with him before he dumped her. Lily saw him kissing a random Ravenclaw student a few days later. She cried her eyes out to her dorm mate, Mary MacDonald. Then, Caleb, a prefect whom she kissed at a Gryffindor common room party when she was fourteen. Matt Wilson was another and eventually she counted to five.</p><p>"Five," she answered.</p><p>"Really? I would've guessed you were a virgin, doll." Thomas and Melody sniggered, and Lily turned red at her mistake. She laughed nervously, though she was fully aware that they were laughing at her and not with her. Lily opened her mouth to correct herself when Molly called the trio over to the kitchen. Lily never corrected their mistake. She had little incentive to do so, although she knew she was lying.</p><p>"Have any of you heard from Cassie? She's a no-call, no-show."</p><p>"Now that you mention it, I haven't heard from her since this weekend." Melody said, looking slightly alarmed.</p><p>"Thomas, Lily?" The two shook their heads. "Okay, well I might swing by hers later. If anyone in the staff has heard from her, tell me to talk directly to me. Otherwise, don't make a big stink out of it. Wouldn't want to her feel uncomfortable to return and find that we've all been gossiping."</p><p>"Yes, because that would be so out of the norm," muttered Thomas so only Lily and Melody could hear.</p><p>Lily wondered when the last she saw Cassie was. Still, this did not deter her. Lily was on a high. She successfully sold her car later that day to one of the assistant chefs whom she overheard talking about buying a used car. It was liberating, getting rid of the old car that was once her lifeline.</p>
<hr/><p>Friday morning arrived, and she crashed spectacularly. Her anxiety was at an all-time high about her non-date later that day. During breakfast, she finally cracked. She spilled everything and secretly hoped Marlene would stay in tonight. Once Marlene knew exactly what was going on, she was exuberant.</p><p>"I can't believe you asked him to come over for dinner. You've got some nerve, Lily."</p><p>"Well as I said, it's not a date. I am excited though, it's just… I've noticed that I've avoided talking about him since we agreed to this. If I think too much, I might come up with reasons to have doubts. Isn't that a red flag?"</p><p>"I think that's just your own anxiety. It doesn't necessarily mean that something is wrong. Answer this; don't think. Do you regret asking him to spend time with you?"</p><p>"No." Lily was certain about this.</p><p>"There you go."</p><p>"Thanks for the reassurance. You know, my love language is 'words of affirmation'..."</p><p>"Don't start this, Lily!" Marlene cast a silencing charm on Lily. Marlene keeled over with laughter and Lily's face reddened deeply. Love languages were a favorite topic of Lily's; Marlene disliked it immensely. Eventually, Marlene took pity on the redhead and cast the counter-jinx. "When is he coming over anyway?"</p><p>"Erm, tonight in a few hours," Lily looked down at her watch. "He said seven in the evening."</p><p>"Are you excited? This is perfect, Emmeline invited me over to her flat tonight. You'll have the whole apartment to yourself. I can even sleep over at Emmeline's-"</p><p>"No, Marlene, I told him you'd be here. He'll think I got rid of you!" Lily paused, kicking herself for nothing thinking this through. She did not want Marlene there and regretted saying the opposite of what she intended.</p><p>"Rightly so, Lily. How will you snog with me blaring Wizard Rock from my room?"</p><p>"Since when- we will not be <em>snogging</em>, Marlene!" Lily exclaimed, her voice rising several octaves.</p><p>"Don't be a prude, Lily! What will you wear? You should show a bit of leg or maybe cleavage, honestly. It'll drive him insane."</p><p>"Sweet Merlin, why did I say something?" Lily cradled her head in her hands.</p><p>"By the way, what are you going to make for dinner? And what will you wear?" Marlene asked. Lily didn't look up and groaned in response. "Don't worry, Lily. You're going to look so good." The redhead finally looked up. With a quick movement, Marlene pulled her hair back into a low bun. Lily thought about everything sitting in her closet at that very moment. There were quite a few options, but nothing stood out to her that fit the occasion. It was all too drab, too sweet, nothing quite fit the moment.</p><p>"Can I borrow your dress? The wrap one?" Lily asked innocently, twirling her hair. She ran her fingers through the end. Lily wondered where Marlene got her hair cut.</p><p>"What dress-" Marlene gasped. "The dress?" She looked affronted.</p><p>"Yes, the dress. Why? Is it too much?"</p><p>"No! But you're mad, woman. It's not a date, but you want to wear- "</p><p>"It's just a dress."</p><p>"It's not just any dress. The last time I wore that dress… I snogged Andrew Hough. That dress is- is- it's fucking Felix Felicis, Lily!" Marlene's eyes were as big as saucers. Lily couldn't help but let out of a snort of laughter.</p><p>"Okay and?"</p><p>"I just wasn't aware you wanted to get lucky. I thought you vehemently denied that this was a date."</p><p>"I just want it to go well. How many times do you get a second chance with a bloke like James?" Lily was fully aware of James's popularity with the girls at Hogwarts. Only Sirius was a bigger playboy than he was.</p><p>"Shit, I completely forgot. How could I forget? It's not your first date with James." Marlene's jaw dropped.</p><p>"Nope."</p><p>"You admit it then."</p><p>"Admit what?" asked Lily.</p><p>"This is a date."</p><p>"Bugger off, Marlene."</p>
<hr/><p>Later that night, Lily paced in the kitchen, frantically checking her watch, and checking on the chicken tikka masala she was cooking. She wore the relaxed, silk jersey dress she borrowed from Marlene. It has been several hours since Marlene had left for Emmeline's. The dress fit her a bit short since she was several inches shorter than her friend, but Lily decided that it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Finally, there was a knock on the door. She opened the door to find James, with a backpack on.</p><p>"Lily, you look amazing," James said, in awe of her. She couldn't help but flush.</p><p>"Thanks, you look great too," she responded, surprised that he too looked smartly dressed, albeit casual. Lily moved aside to let him and realized she was grinning like a fool. He smiled back at her and they shut the door behind them. "What's in your bag?"</p><p>"Oh! Well, I brought you some wine for you. And these are just some ingredients I brought for our little lesson today." He reached into the backpack and pulled out a bottle of wine. Lily looked down at the label.</p><p>"Sweet Riesling. This will pair great with the food, thank you James."</p><p>"Speaking of, something smells great."</p><p>"Thanks." James set the bag down at the dining table. They stared at each other in silence for a moment. "Should we learn first or eat first?" asked James, with an expression Lily couldn't quite place. He ran his hands through his hair, and she realized he was nervous.</p><p>"Well, the food won't be ready for a bit. We can start if you'd like." They moved towards the kitchen to practice.</p><p>"Sure." James pulled out the alcohol, measuring tools, a shaker for the drinks. "Obviously, our trails will be different since we have different titles. But we'll start going over the most popular drink: a martini. It's most important for you to know wine, but also good for you to have a basic understanding of mixology." She nodded, slightly impressed with how organized he was.</p><p>"So, you start with your mixing cup…" He proceeded to explain the measurements to her and started measuring the amount of alcohol into the liquor pourers. His quick movements and graceful movements enraptured her.</p><p>"Martini glasses should be chilled.<em> Glacius</em>," said James, pointing his wand to the martini glass and it instantly chilled. "Then we place the gin and dry vermouth in the shaker. Add ice and shake for ten seconds." He put the lid on the shaker and shook it vigorously.</p><p>"You'd make James Bond proud then. Shaken, not stirred."</p><p>"Yes, don't tell Connall about me teaching you this way. He's adamant that James Bond is wrong and that martinis are often stirred." He reached inside the bag again and took out a small bag of fruit. "Imagine telling Muggles that your boss thinks James Bond is wrong. Last step is the garnish. Lemon peel or olives." James handed the drink to her.</p><p>"That's delicious." Lily smiled up at him. James looked extremely pleased with himself.</p><p>"You surprise me more and more, James. I feel like we've both really changed," Lily said, taking a small sip of the drink. "Do you feel that way?"</p><p>"I agree, yeah. It kind of feels like my old life doesn't fit me anymore," he responded truthfully. She thought about</p><p>"Exactly," she said, unable to look away from him. He described accurately what she felt. Then, with a furrow of his brow, he looked around wildly.</p><p>"Erm, Lily? Is something burning?"</p><p>"Oh no!" She turned towards the stove and switched off the burner to both the rice and chicken. She lifted the tops and smoke filled the kitchen. Both pots were blackened and inedible.</p><p>"I'm so sorry. I guess I got distracted." Lily said and turned to James with a glum look.</p><p>"No need to apologize, I completely forgot about the food too."</p><p>Lily groaned in frustration as she threw out the food and James helped her clean up the kitchen. When she was done scraping the burnt food off the pan, he handed her another martini.</p><p>"Cheers." They clinked glasses and headed over to the couch. After a minute of comfortable silence, James spoke up again.</p><p>"Lily, I'm starving," he said. Lily couldn't help but laugh. She laughed and laughed until her side hurt. Although he was unsure of why she was laughing, he soon joined in.</p><p>"I'm sorry—"</p><p>"I know where we can go. It's this fantastic diner, come on." He stood from the couch and set their glasses down on the coffee table. James stuck his hand out. "Don't you trust me?"</p><p>Lily looked up at him blankly. On one hand, James had proved time and time again in the time since she moved to London that he was honest and trustworthy. He seemed wholly dedicated to the Order and taking down Voldemort. On the other, her heart had been absolutely shattered by someone she thought she knew. Her childhood friend, Severus changed into a follower of the Dark Lord. Lily decided to be hopeful. She took his hand in hers and they apparated with a crack.</p><p>The pair arrived in a dark street, which Lily failed to recognize. James, sensing her hesitation, led her down towards the neon lights.</p><p>"Where are we?"</p><p>"Muggle London. Only a few blocks from Martinelli's." They ambled down the street where passersby now appeared. "Scott showed me this place."</p><p>"Who is Scott?" asked Lily, perplexed. James let out a bark of laughter and threw his arm around her. His touch tickled her arm and she felt gleeful when he pulled her in close.</p><p>"You don't know who Scott is?" She shook her head. "That's hilarious. He's one of the assistant chefs; swore to me that you two were in love. Said he thinks you're absolutely gorgeous."</p><p>Lily was taken aback. She failed to remember any faces from the kitchen just yet; only the Head Chef. He was a commandant in the kitchen. Whenever one of the assistant chefs screwed up, it was hell for anyone within a ten-foot radius.</p><p>"I have no idea who you're talking about," Lily said.</p><p>"I figured as much," replied James, smiling down at her. He stopped and suddenly pulled the door open of a small, dingy diner. She looked up to see a teal sign that read "Rae's".</p><p>A loud buzz filled the room, with mostly young people milling about. No space remained at the bar as it was jam-packed and only a few booths remained open. A hostess approached them and sat them in a nearby booth. Her blonde bangs clung to the beads of sweat on her forehead. The hostess's makeup clearly once pristine, bordered on unkempt, as though she'd been crying. Smiling softly, she handed them the menus and made to walk away when-</p><p>"Thank you," James said, with a look at her smock. "Tonya." She smiled at him and vanished with one final glance at the couple. Lily felt there was something familiar about her smile, but James interrupted her train of thought.</p><p>"I like the fish and chips here. The chips aren't too oily."</p><p>"I can't believe I burned all the food. Typical, huh?"</p><p>"That's okay, the girls tend to get distracted around my devilish good looks." As soon as it came out of his mouth, James filled with regret. He put his hands in his face and took a peek between his fingers with a laugh.</p><p>"So, Lily. Tell me your hopes and dreams."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Give me a tour of your psyche."</p><p>"What?" Lily giggled.</p><p>The waitress appeared in front of them with water and took their orders at that moment.</p><p>"Can I get the fish and chips?" asked Lily. James did pause citing his order to the waitress as his foot brushed up against her leg.</p><p>Lily struggled to maintain her composure. She wanted to burst out in laughter and didn't understand how he kept a straight face.</p><p>After a moment, the waitress disappeared. As soon as her back turned, Lily reached out and smacked James lightly on the arm.</p><p>"You prat, you know my legs are ticklish."</p><p>"What? I've never heard of anyone's legs being ticklish, much less yours," he smiled.</p><p>"You knew that. Sixth year, Sirius thought I was his flavor of the week and tried playing footsie with me. Do you seriously not remember?" Lily was a bit put out that he forgot about the incident in which Sirius brushed his foot against Lily's knee repeatedly. She made such a scene at dinner that Professor McGonagall punished her by taking away five points from Gryffindor.</p><p>"Flavor of the week? My, my, Lily. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were jealous. Be honest, do you fancy Sirius?"</p><p>"James, no, I'm so sorry about the confusion. I have a brain you see, so I don't fancy Sirius." James hooted with laughter and earned the pair several stares from a few people nearby. He was unperturbed.</p><p>"You're funny. Do you like anyone then?" he asked innocently. The waitress appeared and gave them their food with a smile. Lily was silent. She felt like she was prey being hunted. She shoved some fries in her mouth to delay her response. James didn't so much as look at his food. It burned, but she was too proud to admit that she was in physical pain.</p><p>Eventually, she swallowed the food and looked up at him, expecting him to look impatient or angry. He was neither of those things.</p><p>"Well?" he asked.</p><p>"Er, well I'm here with you, aren't I?" she tried to dodge the question. He shook his head. They sat in silence and continued to eat. Now, he looked a little upset. Lily focused on eating, but with each chew she became more and more frustrated. She knew she said the wrong thing and pondered various ways to make it up to him. Neither one of them filled the uncomfortable silence. James paid for the cheque with little objection from Lily.</p><p>They walked out quietly towards the shadowy street from which they came. It had grown quite chilly since they first entered the diner and as a result, the streets were far emptier than before. Lily reached for James's hand and was surprised when he allowed her fingers to interlock with his. She looked up at him with a smile until he finally glanced back at her.</p><p>"I do remember the incident with Sirius in Sixth year," said James.</p><p>"You do?" He nodded. "Do tell," she said.</p><p>"Er, it was the weekend of the first Hogsmeade visit. I was rather cross with him. You may remember that Sirius and I spent that entire weekend arguing—"</p><p>"You two had a shouting match outside Dervish &amp; Banges. That's what it was about? Me?" asked Lily incredulously. She let go of his hand now, but they continued to walk slowly.</p><p>"Quite the narcissist, Lily."</p><p>"You're not denying it though?"</p><p>"I don't want to talk about it."</p><p>"Fair play." The clouds were rumbling now, and Lily felt a drop of rain land on her nose. "Seems like it's going to rain, we should—"</p><p>"Remus told me about the issues you're having with your magic." James interrupted, as though he hadn't heard her.</p><p>"I don't know what you're talking about."</p><p>"It's more common than you think—"</p><p>"He promised he wouldn't say anything to anyone." Lily felt exposed, unsure of how to confront the situation. James was by no means a gossip.</p><p>"Marauders don't count."</p><p>"So, if I tell you a secret, you're contractually obligated to tell your mates?"</p><p>"Depends on the secret," shrugged James.</p><p>Lily sighed. It wasn't as though the issue had gone away and she never received a response from Dumbledore.</p><p>"I wrote to Dumbledore about it last week and still have yet to hear back from him. That's why I borrowed your owl that day," Lily admitted.</p><p>"Is that what the drugs were? Had you been… self-medicating?" asked James.</p><p>"Er, well no." Lily absolutely did not want to have this conversation with James. "Honestly, the first time was… when I thought you were dating Molly."</p><p>He looked dumbfounded and stopped walking now. It was a few seconds before she realized he was no longer next to her. With a glance back at him, she tried her best to read his expression. James was in complete disbelief. It made her feel powerful and she could not stop her face from breaking out into a goofy grin. His lips quirked into a similar smile and it was enough for her to feel her stomach flutter. Lily quickly strode in his direction and closed the distance between them.</p><p>Soft. Warm. Inviting. James's lips were everything she hoped and yet better than she could have imagined. She couldn't believe what she was doing and even more shocked that he indulged her wordlessly.</p><p>A part of her wanted slow, deliberate, painfully so. Their teeth clashed. She pulled him closer desperately. James mumbled something intelligibly into her mouth. Like everything else, it was swallowed and jumbled.</p><p>"We're in public, Lily." She looked around. There were few passersby who even looked up. She buried her face into his chest. James pulled himself away and led her into a dark alley.</p><p>"I don't know what came over—" Her low apologies were cut off. It was James this time who pressed his lips to hers hungrily. She kissed him back and allowed him to push her against the brick of the wall. His hands roamed down to her bum and lifted her up.</p><p>The dress, Lily thought, must be getting filthy. She let go of her Muggle tendencies. A quick <em>scourgify</em> would solve the problem. She felt invincible; free, even. Lily wasn't sure what it was. Kissing a boy without abandon in public, being in a place where no one knew who she was, or a combination of the two. Lily felt a slight breeze on her shoulder and looked down to find that the dress had a small rip in the shoulder.</p><p>It was on the seam and easily sown. James saw it as well and pulled out his wand to fix it. The seam came together immediately.</p><p>"Thanks," said Lily. She glanced around at their unfamiliar surroundings. The alleyway was empty, save for a large dumpster several feet away. A gleam of gold on the ground caught her eye. Lily tore herself away to reach for it.</p><p>"Hey, it's a Galleon—"</p><p>"Lily, no, don't—"</p><p>They reached the gold coin at the same time and Lily felt an uncomfortable pull at her belly button. With a loud thump, she fell to the ground. Nausea overwhelmed her and she was sick on the dirt patch she landed on.</p><p>"James?" Lily called wildly, looking around and seizing her hand. A hand pulled her up and she saw James, glasses slightly askew. He cleaned up where she vomited and wiped her mouth for her. Lily responded by fixing his glasses and held his arm tightly before looking around.</p><p>"James, where are we?" she whispered.</p><p>"Ah, right on time." A disembodied voice echoed to them and Lily finally spotted a pair of dark, almost black eyes staring at them,</p><p>The voice was male, coming from where two hooded figures stood twenty feet away. Both were pale, but one stood clearly in front of the other. He stepped towards them, some of the bright moonlight shining on his distorted face. The man's nostrils were extremely thin.</p><p>"<em>Expelliarmus</em>!" shouted the other figure. Lily felt nauseous again. Her throat closed up and she felt like she couldn't breathe. Her and James's wands went flying into Severus's hand. She felt the chunks rise in her throat and she expelled them onto the ground once more.</p><p>"Dear Miss Evans, please do not get sick on my account. Severus, aren't we most sorry for causing discomfort to our guest?"</p><p>"Yes, my Lord," replied Severus, sounding colder and more detached than ever. With a languid flick of Voldemort's wand, Lily was able to stand. She felt around her and grabbed James's wrist instinctively. His large hand was cool and clammy. She no longer felt nauseous and Voldemort's disgusting teeth formed a wicked smile.</p><p>"Much better," said Voldemort. "You two seem quite far from home. We're in the charming town of Dedham in Essex. A <em>Muggle </em>town, though the pair of you seem to not mind Muggles very much at all. Working for Muggles, making Muggle friends, and even kissing Muggles." He sauntered closer to them and Lily searched the open field for an escape. There was nothing for miles.</p><p>"I would like the two of you to consider joining my army. That old fool Dumbledore will only get you killed. I do not wish to let such talent be wasted. I can grant you your deepest, darkest desires. Discover power like you've never imagined. If you join me, you can even learn to cheat Death."</p><p>"Severus, please don't kill us—" Lily pleaded, barely listening to Voldemort.</p><p>"You're a coward—" yelled James at the pair. Lily was unsure who he was talking to. A second flick of Voldemort's wand and their shouts fell silent. Lily stared at the ground.</p><p>"I was told you two were Gryffindors. Head Boy and Head Girl. I also understand the pair of you were sharing a romantic evening, so I won't keep you for long. But my, how quiet you've been, save for begging." Lily willed herself to look up, spit in his face, to move, but she was frozen. "Miss Evans, it is rare that I ask a Muggleborn to join my army. Unheard of. Severus tells me you are a talented potioneer." She nodded infinitesimally. Her eyes met Severus's beady ones and stared until he looked away. "He tells me of your power, and I am most impressed. I need a potions master to join Severus in fulfilling his mission for me."</p><p>Lily shook her head resolutely.</p><p>"We'll never join you—" The silencing charm broke on James who turned red with anger.</p><p>"<em>Sectumsempra</em>!" Severus cast the spell on James, who stared back at him in anguish. He grew small cuts on his face which began to bleed profusely.</p><p>"Oh, Snape, have you grown weak? Is that the best you have?" taunted James. The image of the blood seeping down his face made Lily want to scream, but the silencing charm was still in effect. Snape did not react.</p><p>"Tut, tut, the folly of young Mr. Potter. I've heard tales of your arrogance," sneered Voldemort. "One must not speak unless spoken to."</p><p>James sneered at him when he found the silencing charm had silently been cast by Severus once more.</p><p>"I also invite you to join me. I implore the both of you to realize what kind of world we would build together. One where you can exert absolute dominance over everyone who's ever called you strange or a freak." He took a glance at Lily as he said this before moving on to James. "One where you can explore all the power you hold." Tears threatened to rain down on Lily's face. She needed to escape.</p><p><em>Escape, escape, escape</em>.<em> What did Avery say? That Voldemort wanted to ask her himself.</em></p><p>"No," answered James, panting heavily.</p><p>"I see. I do not wish to spill any more talented, blood, even tainted blood such as your own," said Voldemort coldly. Lily flinched. "I will not harm you tonight. You will go unscathed and you may tell your friends of the merciful Lord whom you denied."</p><p>Lily let out an internal sigh of relief. Still, she could not move and realized she was digging her fingernails into James's wrist who did not acknowledge it.</p><p>"Give me their wands, Severus."</p><p>The hook-nosed man handed him the pair of wands. Voldemort walked over lazily to James and held out his wand. With another derisive glare, James snatched it from his cold, pale hand.</p><p>"I hope you two are prepared for a war."</p><p>He threw Lily's hand at her and stepped in front of her.</p><p>"You could have been great," Voldemort said before he and Snape disappeared in a flurry of black robes. Once they were both gone, Lily fell to the ground.</p><p>"They're gone," said a voice. Lily didn't recognize it as James's but felt him stroke her hair softly. She realized she was speaking, and her lips were numb. The field was eerily quiet, and they stayed on the ground for several minutes before Lily found her words.</p><p>"James, I'm so sorry. I froze-"</p><p>"Lily, you don't have to explain anything to me. C'mon. Let's get you home."</p><p>"Marlene! What if he's gone after her? We have to- I can't-" she broke off as a wave of emotion overcame her.</p><p>"You can side-along with me. Come on." She nodded and they were back at Lily's apartment with a crack. She led the way through the courtyard and up the stairs to the flat.</p><p>"Marlene!" Lily called desperately. The flat was dark and empty.</p><p>"Lumos." James's wand lit up behind her. Lily copied him and found the light switch. The flat was empty, their wine glasses sat on the coffee table untouched.</p><p>"She said she might spend the night at Emmeline's tonight."</p><p>"Send them an owl. I'm sure they'll be safe at the Vance's."</p><p>"Secure the door, will you?" James turned around at her command and cast a series of protective enchantments on the door.</p><p>With a final once over, he went back to her room and found her standing over her dresser in the dark. He flipped the light switch on and moved her to sit on the bed. The room was much cleaner than the last time he had been in there. Lily stared without focusing on anything in particular.</p><p>"Spare a bit of parchment?" She pointed to the dresser and he spotted it immediately. He scribbled a quick note to Marlene and made his way over to Clem. In one quick movement, James opened the window and attached the note to the owl's foot. He started when he felt arms wrap around his waist as he watched Clementine fly away.</p><p>They stood in silence until he felt Lily's chest shaking softly with sobs.</p><p>He turned around and set her down on the bed. James began to take her shoes off. She sobbed harder. "Don't cry, Lily. I'm right here."</p><p>It was the most haunting sound he had ever heard. Lily cried quite a bit. She cried when she was angry, she cried when she was happy, and James witnessed both of these events quite frequently. He had never heard cry this way. It was new, heartbreaking, and the sound made him feel wretched inside. He went into her drawer for night clothes and handed them to her.</p><p>James turned around as she changed into her pajamas. When she was done, he helped her crawl into bed. She stopped crying now. He smiled crookedly at her and reached down to kiss her forehead.</p><p>Her hand reached out to touch the small cuts that remained on his face.</p><p>"I forgot all about those."</p><p>"I can't believe he's done this to you."</p><p>"I've done a lot worse to him," said James wryly. Lily pulled the covers up to her chin.</p><p>"Do you have to leave? Can you…" she paused, unsure of how to continue. She glanced at the bed and realized she'd have to outright ask him. "Can you stay? We'll just be sleeping. I can't-"</p><p>"No, it's fine. I can stay." James tried to hide his shock. He took off his shoes and transfigured his trousers into softer, stretchy material. Gingerly, he crawled under the covers and faced his body towards her.</p><p>"Thanks. I don't mean to make you uncomfortable. It's just…I can't believe it was a fucking portkey."</p><p>"I know. But don't worry, just sleep. We can talk in the morning," responded James.</p><p>Lily felt the tears prickle at her eyes. She didn't let them fall this time. With a long exhale, she nodded and closed her heavy lids. Eventually, Lily's consciousness ebbed away, and the sound of James's soft snores filled the room.</p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: This chapter was really hard to write. I've been taking many more breaks for my mental health as I discussed previously, the issue of BLM is all-consuming, and I urge you all to get involved in any way you can. Protest, if you can't, support protesters and/or donate to any mutual aid or Black-centered organizations. I grieve for everyone as things have been harder than normal.</p><p>This title of this chapter is a song by Ari Lennox. The song is so good and has a hilarious anecdote at the end. The name of the previous chapter Exit Scott (Interlude) by Solange takes a sample of a beautiful work by Pat Parker called Poem to Ann #2. I recommend you all look it up.</p>
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